Reading is harmful. One boy read It's Me, Editchka Limonova, and then he was found in New York in pink jeans, and, typically, pleased. and :)
The other boy read Stephen Hawking and didn’t understand anything.
And the third boy began to read Donald Knut and got a brain shake when the third volume fell on his head.

I want to buy a Mercedes C63 AMG, what should I pay attention to?
Pay attention to the BMW M3

He said to me, “Sorry,” I said to him, “Pardon,” and each of them went to his side.

I go to the toilet and I go:
It is busy!
I am :
Oh sorry!
From there:
Silvia is fucking!

I have another:

One word:

I live in America. Every October, people buy strawberries and display them on the doorsteps of their homes, and I pizza them and make them jams, baking cakes, and my food expenses decline sharply every autumn.

Shamefully

The Enot!

I received a SMS with the text: "Why didn't you come on a date? I’ve been waiting for you for two hours."
I was sent a reply: "I didn’t come because I couldn’t." (boy, 25 years old)

Conserves are not collected. Grains, salt and sugar are not stored! Fireworks are not packed for moisture. Aaaah! The bunker is untouched!! to

Speak for yourself!

Alexander Karnishin

We are at work.
We close the window with blinds because the sun is bright.
Turn on the light because it’s dark.

The American Academy of Film Arts and Sciences has announced that actor and master of martial arts Jackie Chan will receive the “Oscar” award for outstanding achievements in world cinema.

Unexpectedly but pleasantly

My sister visited for a few days. And all this time in the usually quiet area, something noisy was going on every day. So the neighbors under the window on the parking lot with the eagle and the mat, someone is bad, but diligently teaches the song on the guitar, then the crows are hard...

The sister left, and again silence and peace. I wonder if she might be driving with me?

on 4pda in news about Sony audio technology
I, by the way, completely solved the problem of mechanical vibrations of the cable - it is necessary to use gold pipes with palladium coating, with a diameter of at least 2 meters and a wall thickness of at least 25 cm. With such a wiring, there will definitely be no undesirable vibrations, and the audiofile will finally be able, for the first time in his whole meaningless life, to end!

Schwarze Rose: My mother was in shock and began to say that these books were written by Americans in order to make former Soviet people fools.
Greek girl: Tell your mom that this is not the case. The former Soviet people do well on their own.

I was called twice from VTB24 when I was sleeping. And they asked some nonsense, such as: “Did you use the services of our bank last week?” and “Did you urgently break the relationship with them because they don’t know who is using their services and who isn’t. Such a bank does not inspire trust.

The morning. I stand at the box office in the store.Dialogue between the cashier and the buyer.
Q" Do you have 20 copies?"
P is " No of course. Only 30"
So directly and wanted to ask:"A coin?"

You should eat this way:
Eat breakfast yourself.
A friend shares lunch with you.
And dinner with respect brings the enemy.

YYY: Look, fucking... We’re in Mongolia already km. 30 was deepened.
They were lost...
From the Mongolian website: "Let’s see, the Russians on the tank go... well, and we either on the horse or on the tank only and you can travel. We go to them: take the birthplace to the district center, we will give you vodka and we will refuel the tank. They answer in Chinese. That’s where I was afraid."

Sitting with friends and going home decided not to take a taxi, but to go for a walk. Halfway I heard the characteristic "Fyju, hear, youth, came here!". The mood is warmed by degrees. I turn around. Three types in the hill. I hear: "No, it’s not the youth." And they go the other way. You know, it was so offensive. Better to take off.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Better to go out.

"translation into English (via google translate)"

You would have asked for the translation.

On the eve of the pool party, a letter from the secretary (only to the guys of the company) and further correspondence:
xxx: Hi everyone, < some uninteresting info>. Also, the beautiful half of the office is looking forward to seeing you in beautiful swimsuits))
YYY: Good morning I don’t have a swimsuit, if I’m swimming in shorts, will I not be expelled?
zzz: I also don’t have a swimsuit, because I’m a convinced nudist, and even if I go to work without cowards, will I not be expelled if I’m swimming naked?
ccc: I am a convinced voyeurist. Will I not be expelled if I watch Zzz swim naked?
Vvv: I am a convinced trader. Will I not be expelled if I shoot all three on the video and sell it on Hotmale?

Sitting with friends and going home decided not to take a taxi, but to go for a walk. In the middle of the road he heard the characteristic “Fyju, hear, youth, came here!” The mood is warmed by degrees. I turn around. Three types in the hill. He said, “No, they are not young people. They go to the opposite side. You know, it was so offensive. Better to take off.

"The official hard device."
It could also be a tuning device.