bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69469
 03.09.2012
It was painful, offensive, unfair... I gave her millions of lives.
She swallowed them...

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №69468
 03.09.2012
Here is a thousand and a half, as you asked.
YYY: Why not two?
In what language did you say thank you?

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №69467
 03.09.2012

I was sick yesterday at home: I washed the floors, dishes, laundered the linen, sliced, roasted the cottage, hanged the curtains, hanged the lamp, dryer, wire for the plinths cleaned, book read and burned the screwdriver and scratched the computer ) On him fell the bed disassembled which slipped on the laminate while I scratched the dust from the vacuum cleaner bag and thrown the burnt screwdriver which drilled concrete in the kitchen to clean what I put on to hang the dryer to hang the white to hang the cleaner.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №69466
 03.09.2012
Children are such children...
I am standing by the window, watching an idyllic picture: children are trying to put a yard cat in a box from the TV. Would it seem that it might be wrong? The devil is always in the details :)
The cat is pretty big, the box too, but (!) From a new, flat TV about the thickness of the palm :) The animal clearly realizes the prospect, and concentratedly tries to escape. and :)
Interestingly, cognitive dissonance is not only experienced by children, but also by adults who carefully observe the process - there is a cat, there is a box, everything is normal.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №69465
 03.09.2012
Cot_Begemot: I’m going to throw away the old toilet
Cot_Begemot: I call the elevator, with it comes a woman in her age. He looks at me so unconsciously. Well, I gave - sorry, I have to ask you to leave the elevator, we produce the installation of sorters in the elevators according to European standards.
Cot_Begemot: is out

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69464
 03.09.2012
Sometimes you sit in the car waiting for about an hour for the girl, you call her constantly in a hurry, she throws down! Takes the phone then says it goes and throws the phone again! Wait another 15 minutes! You dig all the anger and anger in you to spit on it for all the wars of the centuries! Fight with all your strength! and this cute creature jumps on the front seat, hugs tightly, kisses, says you missed it... and you can’t say it!!! c) the farce

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №69463
 03.09.2012
A strong family is when she is confident and he is a fairy tale.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №69462
 03.09.2012
In my youth I worked on the radio. One day a girl called me and asked for a job. He said he wanted to talk about culture. Well, we laughed, of course: ah, in the Wetlands. about culture. However, the girl was taken to work - the voice seemed like nothing. And during the first broadcast, she that the last Russian tsar was Nicholas the 11th.

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №69461
 03.09.2012
A girl was driving around the city. The man who took the exam decided to catch up. He asks to stop, and there is a sign "parking is prohibited". The girl stopped obediently... But! She turned on the emergency signal, went out - put a sign of emergency stop, and with the pharmacy in her hands gently asked the detector:
Are you sick?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №69460
 03.09.2012
No, we won’t go to visit N.
That is why? She seems to be a decent woman...
Then we will talk about the Holy Trinity. She’ll speak Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; I’m Gates, Jobs, and Wozniak; and you’re a chiller, a tank, and a D.D. We’ll all be upset, and then she’ll not talk to us for half a year.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69459
 03.09.2012
Call for loan application:
I can’t answer you, I’m in jail. and lifelong.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №69458
 03.09.2012
My mother sent me a SMS.
"we night in the der cards floor excavation fried shell"

I would like to answer "s"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №69457
 03.09.2012
<hedgehog> pfexec, you have revealed that you have signed a non-disclosure agreement!
<pfexec> yeah yeah yeah
<hedgehog> now you are tormented by your conscience!
<OE> the agree button is pressed by mom, girlfriend or cat
<OE> then you are not at work
<hedgehog> by the way, it's an idea - to sign a cat license agreement

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №69456
 03.09.2012
If you believe them, I am a dead biker lesbian.
The important thing is not how they call you, but how you position yourself.
I position myself as the lord of the world.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №69455
 03.09.2012
Question on answers.mail.ru: And anyone has heard about the videos, after which people cut their eyes off.
Answer: Unfortunately, all the people who could give a link cut their eyes off.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №69454
 03.09.2012
The first September. 8 in the morning. The face. Everything is solemn. The director in the microphone rejoiced:
Good night!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №69453
 03.09.2012
Law on the Protection of Child Morality:

xxx: Poor deputies)) Children already at 12 years old are registered on porn sites as 40-year-old uncles)))
YYY: 40 year old deputy uncles, on the contrary, are registered as 12-year-olds on websites!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №69452
 02.09.2012
who wrote about the video camera and the ancient telecast in the film "Back to the future" - there in the background on the left of the telecast is a oscillograph, according to which any electronist will immediately understand how to combine the video camera and the lamp telecast. Especially with his mega.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №69451
 02.09.2012
Comment on the article on the first designs of famous sites:
"Oh, the nostalgia of the world...)
I remember all this, haha, and funny mail, and youtube, and contact, positioned as a reference book for elite students))
The bed as well. It was a good place. You enter the chat "Lesbian forevers", and there assembler discuss..."

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №69450
 02.09.2012
In Britain, developed a submarine wheelchair - I hear the underwater.
The submarine wheelchair is the entire Ukrainian fleet. This is not a secret, the military secret has been uncovered.

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