bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №35367
 01.09.2010
Lensky: When I was a child, my brother Sailor Moon watched.
Is my brother now gay?
Lensky: Brother is now a sailor!

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №35366
 01.09.2010
Talk to the grandmother at the entrance:
I am afraid to wake up in the grave. So I decided to cremate myself.
To wake up in the oven means you’re not afraid?

[ + 64 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №35365
 01.09.2010
Men for women can be 3 types.
Love, sex is given to him for free and unlimited.
Husband (sponsor), sex to him is dosed depending on the payment.
A friend who does not have sex is used as an emotional wash and a source of free services and gifts.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №35364
 01.09.2010
Summer, early morning, the cent of Peter. There are two well-drunken girls seriously dressed and with makeup...Mars comes out, a man comes out. Crying all over
The streets are not dirty!! We are just drunk!! ?

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №35363
 01.09.2010
XXX: the discoveries of berry graffiti in Novgorod proved that ordinary citizens were literate.

YYY: and the absence of copper wires in the layer of that period proves that cellular communication was already used.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №35362
 01.09.2010
She: No, sex should only be for love, and no perversions.
he: the naivety of a girl not ruined by student dormitories

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №35361
 01.09.2010
Religion on the one hand believes in miracles and on the other.
It will burn anyone who tries to repeat it.

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №35360
 01.09.2010
When I was in the first class, I still dared to go with the older guys on a serious "affair". There was a 30th prison near us.
The “affair” was to throw zecks through seven fences, tea or cigarettes. In response, they threw various boys’ treasures: a plastic watch bracelet with roses inside, a pen with a aunt, an organ glass ring with a skull, and other luxuries of this kind. Sometimes the boys stumbled on the police seats, they were caught, to their parents to work, registered and all in the same spirit. I was scared, but I decided. Gold is deceiving us.
The technology of throwing tea for 100 meters is not complicated: you take my mother’s old shoe, put a pack of tea, hanging shoe, tie a knot, roll up like David and shoot. There are rabbits on the roof and waiting. In a minute, the reverse banderol flies.
They told me to drop first.
Here, I threw my cup onto the zone, my heart beats, I’d get back and run. My rocket flew back. I catch it, I feel something pleasant-heavy and... here’s like mint! We rushed overwhelmed.
When I ran into my yard and realized that I could not get away from the pursuit, I made my best, without looking, to wrap my package in the socks, where the eyes look.
I didn’t get enough, but I was a first class.
In the morning he went out into the yard and headed to the place where he had thrown his treasure yesterday. I stand next to a mighty castan and see, hanging my shirt wrapped on a branch. The height is five meters, but not to climb. The wind rose, the shovel trembled, as if it was about to roll out and fall. I waited an hour and a half. It does not fall. The boys went out into the yard, I didn’t want to reveal my secret on the tree. He left with a heavy heart. The next day, for half a day, he shot a socket from a cornet, even hit a couple of times, but hangs a puddle.
Everyday I wondered what could be there? close to the elbow, not to bite.
Over time, I started to go to the castan not every day... In fifth grade we moved into a new apartment. Many years have passed.
Last year, I came to the city of childhood, came to my old Lviv court. Castan is in place. I stood and looked at my unknown treasure and understood that I felt like the immortal bearer, looking at the barrel in which a duck, an egg, and so on.
The wind rose, the shovel trembled, as if it was about to roll out and fall, but I least wanted it to fall.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №35359
 01.09.2010
Drunk fishermen caught a seaweed at night. In the morning it turned out that it was a summit, and everyone was ashamed.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №35358
 01.09.2010
I finally bought a cigarette with threatening inscriptions.
Agk: I can see that it has the reverse effect.
Agk: bought 4 packs, all 4 inscriptions different
Agk: I want to buy more, know what else will be written

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №35357
 01.09.2010
I laugh at myself)

He studied for himself in the universe, walked: retired, then recovered. studied well... Oh well!! Agenda for the Army.
I went to the military. They say "Oh, you will go to the VVD! In 2 weeks, go to the army" Departure...BAH! They say we will take it in the spring...
The Spring. Blue hair is foolish. Forbidden: "Your psychological type does not fit in any kind of Russian troops"
Autumn...this is my 3rd time on the 2nd course or take the job of a soft toy seller?

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №35356
 01.09.2010
M: "Oh, gravity, you are heartless shit!" (c)
Yes, I think it every time I look at my chest.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №35355
 01.09.2010
News on ferre.ru
Ukrainian Foreign Ministry wants to ban "VKontakte"
Commentary :
If the title reduces the double point, the intrigue will be more

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №35354
 01.09.2010
My blonde colleague is sitting behind the comp and after a minute of scrolling the mouse wheel gives out: 'eh, what a big exel...'

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №35353
 01.09.2010
Minya always liked the phrase "VAZ engineers developed..." immediately the weight of the concept "Engineer" falls into the area of the plinth. We need to say "The craftsmen of the VAZ have invented..." or there "The men of the VAZ have invented..."

[ + 60 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №35352
 01.09.2010
by KoS [11:08]
We had a guy on Friday to work from the badun came and knocked on the computer)))
by KoS [11:08]
Now he has a new computer.

[ + 64 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №35351
 01.09.2010
I gave my sister a lie detector on the DR, which strikes (well, in general, she loves to torture people). He handed the gift, then immediately sat down on the chair, folded the detector, sharply attached to the table, fixed her hand, turned it on, played music like "who wants to be a millionaire", and asked if she liked the gift. It turned out to like.
Satisfied ^_^

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №35350
 01.09.2010
[9:51:09] MJSN1k: So you have a new number?)
[9:51:30] MJkos: no shit, old only with other numbers)))

[ + 75 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №35349
 01.09.2010
The year 2012. The December.
It was half dark. A small rain
He knocked on the roofs and on the roofs of houses. The light approached me closely and said, “I am cold.” I felt her warm breath and said, “Warm your hands in my pockets.” She put her hand in the right pocket of my pants. Since the pockets were broken, and there were no cowards on me, she touched and began to feel something very hot. Then she looked at me and asked:
What is it?
I had nothing to answer:
This is the end, light.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №35348
 01.09.2010
Rour: Oh, I have a stall flowing.
Mod: o_o
You need a girl.

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