If a blonde is natural, then this is the reason, if painted is an excuse.

Parents are burning in the kitchen. Mom beats the bowl, the beer folder at the table pulls and in the telecock wraps
Natka: mom whistle begins that he doesn't help, then the folder hand up raised
And he solemnly proclaims: Dear, I will give you a star! The light will be bla-bla-bla! In a few seconds, a towel comes into his head.)
Good that it’s not a crap ;)

I lie in bed with a sweet girl. He has already begun to fall asleep and shrink quietly, I look at the telephone.
Her leg was scratched, from a large lazy decided to scratch her on the leg of her beloved.
He, opening one eye, stared at me astonished for 5 seconds and asked:
Kat, what are you doing?
My feet chew.
(Long pause) Katie, this is my leg. And she doesn’t sneeze...

I will never eat avocado, I watched the broadcast that it is the most caloric fruit, and it makes you fat.
Yyy: Oh, and that you eat chewbacks is nothing.
XXX: I haven’t watched the show.

Domodedovo Airport, Adà on arrival passport check.
Tired Customsman and Tired Passenger
So, man, where did you come from?
From the Earth...
out

by Gonzo:
When trying to make fun of a guy with a nick "Norris, Chuck" all the cms fell. Don’t believe in tales after that.

I don't even know what is worse - Disney with his stupid but good series, or the cardinal network with the work of drunken addicts.

Dialogue at the station.
Can you tell me how to go to the platform 9 and 3/4?
The guard – of course! You just need to get in the run to the nearest pillar!

After moving into a new apartment with new furniture, the cat almost died from recycling until everything was wrapped with his face.

Have you ever read the composition of the cat food of the famous brand "delicate rabbit and duck rabbit", or any other from this series? So, there is absolutely frankly written that it contains at least 4% of rabbit and duck meat... I understand, it just lay next to it and was a little wiped out.

We came to a friend in the country, and the thief took out less and less valuable things from him - of course, everyone, even the dishes, did not leave. And we have with us a few bottles of cognac and shishlik, well shishlik is fine - we eat and so, but what cognac to drink?

No one wanted to go to the store 5 km away, but found a new dense rubber gloves! We cut the fingers carefully from her and since we were exactly five, we drank from them))

xxx: Well not to drink, rather we fully realized the meaning of the phrase "sugging cognac"))

Yyy: ahaha) you would have made more balls from the newspaper and drank from them)))

XX: I want to go on vacation
You’re just on vacation, right?! to
XXX: I want to go back!! to

What do you think Legolas could give him a birthday gift?
The Orc Shirt.

Early morning, the city clinic. From the office comes out a bearded uncle - a therapist, passes by the line, singing:
I have a schedule...
With a cunning Lenin's stroke turns to turn:
- And everyone who is not on schedule - Nafig, Nafig...

In hot weather, in order to avoid overheating the engine, it is prohibited to turn on the air conditioner - a real phrase from the instructions of Chevrolet Nivea

Theological Forum :

xxx: I was interested in the Bible and it was that all the gods were killed by the one who created them and Lucifer was the same Satan and he also Hide remained alive by exhausting all his energy to save his brother Jesus who before death managed to stop the one who created all the gods.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Under the window of the school on September 1st.The aunt walks in the matyugalnik:"School!Rive up!Smile!Equation on the state flag of Kazakhstan!In the classes step-by-step march!" and grimm "Adieu Slavyanka".
I am so glad that I have finished school long ago.

British scientists have found that if you mix in equal proportions juice "Love", "Good" and "Rich", you can synthesize a guy.
yyy: Better put it there "I" and become like that

I go to the kitchen. I remind my wife that we have a family life here with her and all that. The wife, breaking away from cooking, begins to drive me out of the kitchen with a towel with an epic phrase of its striking power: "Come out, man, your place is at the company!"

"Why you don’t get married", "Why you don’t get a girl".
I, fucking, a conscientious selfish, do not want to ruin anyone’s life anymore.