bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №134061
 27.09.2016
The Ufa court issued an indictment to a four-year-old boy, who, according to the indictment, crushed the head of a SUV.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №134060
 27.09.2016
The light:
Can the certificate somewhere that Masha loves?
and Denis:
It is a good idea. Does anyone know where she loves?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №134059
 27.09.2016
I have a friend, Ivan Ivanov. He even has a name in the soc. No need to change networks so that no one finds them.

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134058
 27.09.2016
There was a challenge: the child ate the cactus and he was sick. We come. The door is opened by a joyful child, and the mother is almost in a hypercapnic coma with Quincke's edema... It turned out that the mother after the call also decided to try a cactus to understand what was going on with the child. The child was in trouble, and the mother was allergic.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №134057
 27.09.2016
Third of September.
The composition.
How I spent the summer.

Funny was the case. I look at the calendar and tomorrow summer begins. Well, I hid at work, it didn’t find me. That’s how I spent this ugly and cunning Peter’s summer.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №134056
 27.09.2016
Tagged with: milla
A lady from Bryansk calls.
Give me a picture of you, or a picture of your...
And this shit...

Indeed, "that people work with us".

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №134055
 27.09.2016
In our country, a boy with the trivial name Nikiforov was irritated by a necrophilus, and a boy with the banal name Kolya was called Nicole. Children will find something to fuck, so you can also call Sasha and Spiridon, one figure.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №134054
 27.09.2016
How to distinguish Alexander?
I read Soviet stories. Stories are unstoppable. One of them is the situation. The patriarchal family during the war sheltered the child-orphan Vasyatka.
The father of the family returns from the war, and soon he and his wife also have a son. While the mother is in the hospital, the grandfather dresses like a holiday and goes to the council to register the grandson. The grandfather, when asked about the name, was suddenly confused and said Vasya. Back home, he announced that his grandson's name was Vasily.
The grandmother hurled and asked, but how do we get them?
Grandfather on grandmother cried: tea is not the fifth, it is not confused.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №134053
 27.09.2016
The real man is not the one who says and then has to do. The real man is the one who first did and then said.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №134052
 27.09.2016
One of my friends told me the secret - how to know if your child is smoking or not. She always explained to her son that the ear, throat, and nose are one system. No matter how you eat, the smell of smoke will still remain in your ears. You can’t eat with your ears. He smells his ears. She calculated it immediately by the smell of a column in her ears.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №134051
 27.09.2016
My parents treated my girlfriend as a daughter.
She was looking for a normal guy.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №134050
 27.09.2016
There was more appropriate:
Comrade Chukovsky! I bought my eight-year-old daughter your book, The Adventures of Munchausen. I bought it and, without reading, gave it to her on her birthday to make the child pleasant. I gave the book without reading, because, first, it was not time to read, and secondly, on the first sheet was clearly written: "For children".

What was the surprise and disappointment of my daughter, and with her, when we started reading this book. This "most true man on earth" lies so much about himself and his accomplishments that it confuses children. It breaks or fails the head inside the person, and then appears again. He flies to the moon. And if he was flying in order to give the children some information about the surface of the moon, etc., this flight would be fantastic, but still interesting, or some from the beginning to the end unlikely attempts to climb on a bean plant to the moon, to descend down on a pine rope. The most ridiculous ideas about the "monthly inhabitants", their way of life, etc. (c) the
Lunticophobes, are you immortal mountaineers?

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134049
 27.09.2016
xxx: where porn begins, how porn differs from erotic
Zzzz: A fuck knows, honestly and literally.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №134048
 27.09.2016
Commentary on the book on Flibusta:
It is said that young people do not read books. Why so many comments in the comments?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №134047
 27.09.2016
At the parental meeting, a new Russicha, who graduated from the university last year, is conducting a survey of the results of the work. Among other things, she suddenly pronounces: "Look, in the composition of the XX is written: "Between us summer" - a beautiful figurative language, but elementary carelessness - how could you write "summer" through "a", and also, for some reason, from the big letter.
After the assembly, I never decided to break the pattern of the sacrifice of the IS and the education reform. The poor girl still does not know that "summer" is the time of year, and "Summer" is a mythical river of forgetfulness in the ancient Greeks.


[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №134046
 27.09.2016
Video where Lukashenko feeds Stephen Seagal with carrots.
My father even had a rabbit.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №134045
 27.09.2016
Description of Japanese RPG:
You play for an elephant obsessed with thirst to lose weight. She goes on a journey to find the magical green of weight loss!
During the journey you will have various companions.
The underground where the grass lies is full of danger!
Monsters inside, endless labyrinths, is this greenhouse worth such a risk?

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134044
 27.09.2016
My 7 year old daughter talks about the future.
You have to finish the garden first.
And then school and university.
Then work, but it cannot be finished.
And why?
I don’t know, but it doesn’t end.
°•×Xו°

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №134043
 26.09.2016
It was somewhere in the beginning of the mid-1990s.

I lived with my grandmother and I was 5-6 years old.

The TV was supposed to show Terminator (1st part), but it was shown quite late, at 10 - 11 p.m.

I sat a long time waiting for the movie, periodically tapping. But then the grandmother went into the room and said that the radio was transmitted that the actor was sick and the movie will not be and I went to bed sad.

I discovered the deception soon.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №134042
 26.09.2016
Suddenly a strange smell appeared in the apartment. The husband, who had already visited the street this morning, explained this phenomenon: "At the entrance, the sludge was poured out." This put me in a deep stupor. I, of course, by profession is not a builder, but the crap was quite clear, and since childhood. They are camels. I think maybe it is like a solution – a liquid that changes its state. The husband, seeing my eyes for five copies, explained: “Well, bitumen was poured out. It is on top".

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