bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70629
 27.09.2012
Conversation with the other (p.
I: What do you give to the doctor?
Q: I don’t know, think for yourself.
Maybe the brain?
I don’t need anything from the jewelry.

[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70628
 27.09.2012
They picked up a cat, pulled it out of the garbage, scorned terribly the heartless people, this cattle wakes up for the third time in the night with a demanding bite, it seems I understand why it was thrown out.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №70627
 26.09.2012
Survey of students (c) by the lecturer:

Q: How long does clinical death last?
c: 5 to 7 minutes
Q: How long is biological?
c: (a short pause) until the second arrival!

[ + 48 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70626
 26.09.2012
This is the only one I, living for 24 years, have never seen cashiers asking stupid questions to buyers, commenting on their purchases, falling out, "shocked"?
Recently, I bought among other purchases a lubricant for anal sex. Specifically, I looked into the face of the cashier, a young cute blonde. Zero of emotions. Zero at all.
Per stop posting your fantasies and mistakes here?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №70625
 26.09.2012
She: Knee, if the receipts do not come for the light, where to go?
To God... with thanks!! to

[ + 35 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70624
 26.09.2012
The Sexual Harassment Act:

If I see a beautiful girl on the street and want to meet her, how can I officially offer her to go for a cup of tea with me? How to officially ask a girl about intimacy?
222: An official request for sexual intimacy, machine-written, on an emblem paper, in three copies, with the signature and seal of the GEO, the district, the nearest deputy, the committee on sexual quota, plus a certificate from the medical institution and a bank receipt on payment of the sex fee -E?
333: And the grandmother will have to agree. Or must justify its refusal, for example, to provide a certificate of temporary incapacity. and :)
222: )) Definitely in three copies, with seals, medical certificate, confirmation of the committee on sexual quotation and bank receipt of payment of asexual fee )))

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70623
 26.09.2012
I have two sons, twins, 3.5 years old. Loud and active children. From this morning I read them a book, we get into a picture with the planets of the solar system. I read all the names, here comes my mom. The children sit on it, naturally roll on the floor and shout, one: I am Pluto, Uranus and Mercury, the other: I am Saturn, Pluto and Mars. When I watched my mom try to escape, I said, “Well, I’m Jupiter, the biggest. Our mother is Venus, the goddess of beauty. Mother under the children annoyed: "No! I am Earth, the goddess of fertility!and "

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №70622
 26.09.2012
In the US, the iPhone 5 costs about $ 200, in Russia, its price will vary, according to experts, from 30 to 50 thousand rubles.
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

XXX: yyy, ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №70621
 26.09.2012
Ruslan Karmanov: Another blinding success for Apple. Belomor package is more reliable to navigate than the iPhone of 2012 release.

[ + 33 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70620
 26.09.2012
Q: With whom did Adam betray Eve that we came from monkeys?
Yyy: I wonder what was there for Eve if Adam preferred the monkey?

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70619
 26.09.2012
Chuck: Chuck drove the mouse out of the underground.
Chuck: scratching somewhere under the plinth
Ozzy: opened the floor? O_O
by Chuck )
Chuck: Feng Shui did everything
Chuck: twisted the sab louder and favorite Manowar )))
Ozzy: Greenpeace is not for you!
Ozzy is gone?
The mouse yes.
Chuck: Instead of her came the neighbors )))))

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №70618
 26.09.2012
I can’t answer, but I can’t keep silent:
The question:
Why, when you come to a disco, a club, in a word - to the community - and there you shoot girls, it's a personal life, and if you sit at home forever alone - it's not personal, but apparently public? Shouldn’t it be the opposite?

To find that Downe who first decided that half life is also the same as personal, and how to give him the neck...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №70617
 26.09.2012
I don’t need a bottle for sex with you.

XXX: And that’s probably the worst compliment you’ve ever been told.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №70616
 26.09.2012
[LooAprilLee] The news writes that according to GIBDD statistics, one in three accidents in the country is still due to inexperienced drivers.
[vano] That is, every two of the three is the fault of the experienced :o_o: We need to do something about it!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №70615
 26.09.2012
My video recorder knows more about me.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №70614
 26.09.2012
A discussion of a possible new law in St. Petersburg banning almost any noise after 22:00, including sex:
Orgasm in decibels will be measured.
and ah. "Aah" - it is possible, but "Aah" is already a crime!
-A for "AAAAAAA" in general three years.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №70613
 26.09.2012
See also: Sanya! Today is World Contraception Day! Congratulations to you!
You are a real Gandalf!
Fuck to fuck!! Have you talked there?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. :D
You are no longer the third.
That’s a reason to think about :DD

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70612
 26.09.2012
I don’t want to go back – all the figs are here, I’m one of the cool ones.
Zoi

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №70611
 26.09.2012
America is when Russian children don’t know Russian.
Yyy: Well, well, well... And when the adult Russians don’t know Russian, it’s Russia.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №70610
 26.09.2012
... we travel through the town of Lihaja Požnja, the river in it Suvorosth... and at the exit there is a big announcement: STANDING OF SOULS... it was terrible. This is what the absence of the life creator does.”

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