In the morning, she left her wedding ring on the tomb. Since I have a cold, the whole tub is wrapped with towels. While I wasn’t there, my husband decided to clean up and just squeezed all the towels into the garbage bowl along with the ring. I come - there is no ring, I nervously chase my husband to look for him for a laundry. I went, I found, I came. The ring was not mine. They both went back to the wash, and there the girl is already roaring and says embarrassed, "You don't think, I lost my ring." I found both rings and a new girlfriend.

If the letter Z is on the glass of your car, the military commando is waiting for you with open arms.

There lived a lonely old grandmother in our entrance. The pension was tiny, interrupted from bread to water, often rolled in garbage tanks, walked all year round in a coat, almost never communicated with anyone. Except for the homeless cats. Every day at the same time she, barely crawling with a stick, carried food to the tailed wanderers. I suspect she shared her last crumbs with them. Cats began to gather at the entrance in advance, sometimes bringing cats with them. A month ago, my old neighbor fell ill and fell ill. In two weeks she was gone. The cats all this time gathered at the appointed time at our entrance, waiting for her, called, cried loudly. Neighbors were dissatisfied with this situation, tried to disperse the brother, but the cats kept the order and did not want to leave their post. Among the tenants went conversations, said, brought here these darmoods, now will not fall behind, even the infection will bring some. He buried his neighbor from the house. And everyone was in shock when, on the day of her funeral, her wandering pets appeared early in the morning, waited for the tomb to be brought out from the entrance, and followed him. Just imagine a mourning procession, crowns, some distant relatives, neighbors, and behind them 30 cats. You won’t believe, but the cats were crying! They didn’t cry, they cried loudly and long. When the bus drove everyone to the cemetery, the statue ran after them. And we’ve never seen any of our old good neighbor’s pets again.

The attendance of students at classes on September 22 was 120%

It was in prehistoric times.

A colleague spent a vacation with her young man in an exotic country.  When she returns to the work chat, she is asked when she will post photos? It is curious!

Oh, he writes, so many things! I haven’t seen what we did there. For now, here is a link to the Yandex disk.

I waited 15 minutes and answered her link:

“Great photos! Especially those on whom you are naked.”

and all!

The worker is dead!

The dead with the hair stand! And the silence! © by

Everyone, like one, listed hundreds of photos in search of mammals.

Have you found the breasts? No is? I’m back to work too.”

But most of the palms sweated in the colleague itself, because the vacation was really magical, and among the photos could well be "newies".



Can I get a separate boiler?

Some rulers are like a cancer tumor for their state. Moreover, removing this wound is not always a guarantee of healing.

I am cute. I have a good figure, pleasant appearance, I know how to emphasize my advantages. But I am not very smart. This is an objective fact, I am, of course, offended, but I can do little about it. All the guys behaved in appearance, but after a couple of months of relationship dropped, because I was "not in line with their intelligence." It was offensive, I almost accepted that I was just a beautiful envelope without filling. And then I started dating a guy who I think is almost a genius. He was very clever, and I thought we would break up with him very quickly. And he did not condemn me for ignoring the capital of Italy, he did not laugh at my stupid questions and responded calmly. When I did something stupid, he helped and explained that it wasn’t so, calmly and intelligently. When I decided and asked how he tolerated me, I was dumb, calmly answered that his wife he loves, not intelligence is measured. And besides the mind, there are many other important qualities that are present in me. I’ve been the happy wife of this beautiful man for two years and I thank the universe every day for finding such a wonderful husband.

And are the first to the military commissariat calling not those whose car is glued: "We can repeat!“?

Wrong: Stole Solidworks by downloading it from torrents

Right: introduced a price ceiling for European software and acquired it at fair value

Those who laughed that the GES suddenly discovered the onset of winter in January.
And those who were surprised by the state of war and mobilization are the same people.

According to legend, Caesar had the only person and friend he trusted: his doctor. Moreover, if Caesar was sick, he only took medicines when the doctor handed him.
One day, while Caesar was not feeling very well, he received an anonymous note: "Fear your closest friend, your doctor. He wants to poison you.” After a while, a doctor came and gave Caesar the medicine. Caesar gave a friend the received note and, while he was reading, drank a drop of the medicinal mixture. The doctor was terrified:
How could you drink what I gave you after you read this?
And Caesar answered him:
Better to die than to doubt your friend.

Why are we being taken to the front?
I don’t know, I’m not interested in politics.

First line in the book on thermodynamics and statistical mechanics:



Ludwig Boltzmann, who spent a lot of time studying statistical mechanics, committed suicide in 1906. The same fate endured in 1933 Paul Erenfest, who continued his works.

Now it is our turn to do statistical mechanics. It would probably be wise to approach this subject with some caution.

xxx: My ex-girlfriend just hired as a tester at a company where I work as a developer. Wish me good luck guys!

When he bought his first car, he drove on it with his future wife, and on the radio he sang Kipelov "I am free", made louder, after which his wife said - turn it off. Then I realized that I was not free.

We sit in the house and rest. My wife is sleeping, my kids are with me. On the box of some fighter, and the hero shoots the clock with a knife. Here the elderly 16-year-old suddenly says, “Do you know how to throw knives?”

I of course. As a child, I played with knives.

In the sense of childhood?! to

There was such a fun before. When I was 6-7 years old, I started playing socks in the yard. In the territory, or ships.

Is she 6 years old? Are you scratching again?! to

If you want to, let me learn...

We go out into the courtyard, I learn how to properly hold, how to approximately calculate the distance... I draw a circle. We start playing.

She is in half an hour - I still don't believe that before at 6 years old in knives played, children with knives walked...

Here the woman goes out on the doorstep - "Oh, you are playing in the knives?! I want to be with you! I haven’t played since childhood. The daughter's eyes are rounded, and the wife continues - you don't fix the brush, so the dad wins. I will learn the right way!

There is no scene.)

xxx: Interestingly, should I with a third-degree heart blockade and a cardiostimulator count on a revision of my fitness category?



Is it a cardiostimulator? You are a cyborg. The Imperial Strike Fighters

On the beach wearing dark glasses to not scare the girls with their hungry eyes.

The head of the pioneer camp, put an ultimatum, or Seroga becomes the head of some circle, or - better not to check.

How can I run a circle if I can’t do anything?
I will not sign a report on pedopractic.
–...
The next day, on the board of ads hanged a wrongly written poster inviting children to the circle "Young Astronaut". The curious leaders gathered to see what Sergei had invented. Thirty children were registered with him. He arranged them all in a circle, and himself stood in the center and, taking the most brave man for his hand and foot, slowly began to swing. Having made 5-6 turns, he dropped the future cosmonaut on the lawn and while he recovered, Seroga scattered another. The children were enthusiastic above the roof, and after the end of the class, they continued to run for Seroga for a long time and asked, "When will we fly into space next time?"

Specifically for Ally Pugacheva will be established the status of "member of the foreign agent family".