bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №53963
 26.09.2011
We dress up with our wife, discussing "The Queen of the Cursed".
Do you believe in vampires?
Wife: Why are you asking?
I: Maybe we’ll have a party in Transylvania style tonight? and :)
Wife: In the sense, will I suck? )))

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №53962
 26.09.2011
The case happened recently. My friend and I get out of the subway and see an advertiser who advertises 10 roses for the price of one. I decided to stick and say:
Ten roses for a wife’s funeral.
Nine wives and one mistress. Everything is thought out!

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №53961
 26.09.2011
Tomorrow we go to the universe! ?
yyy:you in the word "bla" made 3 mistakes.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №53960
 26.09.2011
and ppc. have survived. My friend said, “You know photoshop. I: Yes, there is such a thing. Friend: You can remove the box from the photo, I want to read the inscription on the wall behind it.

[ + 50 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №53959
 26.09.2011
Fuck what that is. He pushed the 75W lamp into his mouth, sat down, not without problems, but pulled it back. I tried with a 100W lamp, it didn't go in at all. How do you squeeze them that they are not supposed to be pulled out?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №53958
 26.09.2011
If you want to read only the truth, find the smallest font.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №53957
 26.09.2011
In front of the shopping center:

A police officer does not hurry to write in the booklet the number of the car parked in a place for disabled people: under the front glass there is no paper confirming that the car belongs to a disabled person.
Beyond the corner turns out a young and cute girl with two large bags, sees such a picture - and to him running. It is very shrinking.
I was at first standing away, smoking for myself, and immediately it became interesting - I approached, carelessly whispering and with such a look as if what is happening does not interest me very much and I am just walking by.
I could only hear the end of the conversation.

The Police:

- Citizen, do not forget to leave the disabled card in sight.
You were lucky this time.

The girl indignated:

What? what? How can you call me disabled? Well what, what
I crashed? I just broke my tail...

Well, and issued her a police penalty immediately on the already official form.
Although she tried to use the usual excuses in such cases: said, yes I for two minutes, yes I fast, etc.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №53956
 26.09.2011
At the congress of "ER" announced that now Putin will be Putin...

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №53955
 26.09.2011
I am in the computer. Which store to bring?
Sysadmin, a variety of: Mice! Thirty meters! The connectors!
The programmer, kind of shy: And I have a flower. A little...

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №53954
 26.09.2011
Herka: You understand that work has taken you, when you are sitting in the bus with headphones in your ears and closed eyes, but you know where you are on the road.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №53953
 26.09.2011
Talk about Jeeps.
Take a Jeep.
X: Why is he me? Carrying the air?
A jeep is like a third egg. Bright and glowing. Everyone sees him.
x: Ah, then "stall" I will take it again. This is the third egg and the second member. And an indisputable argument.
Hm, it is radical.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №53952
 26.09.2011
That I have snow, that I have rain, that I have rain,
When I get sick, I sit home all day long.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №53951
 26.09.2011
Blowing Blowing: My greetings to you
FreshCream: Fuck when you change your nick!
Blowing Blowing: I can be happy.
Tagged with: changed
Closed: update the info in the contact menu
Tagged with: updated?
FreshCream: hour by hour is not easier...

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №53950
 26.09.2011
xxx where is it?
yyy She has begun to divide her personality (
XXX was taken to the psychic.
No, not at home.

[ + 61 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №53949
 26.09.2011
One day I found a snake in the country, took a spade and crushed it into small pieces... ah, the snake was a shit... a week without the internet...

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №53948
 26.09.2011
xxx: what do you think of the author "The Words of the Regiment of Ivory"?
The dead...

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №53947
 26.09.2011
Electricity
I work work. Not to sleep! Could you!! to
The Rebel
X * ku ku * on the grass...
The Rebel
The rabbits cut at midnight.
The Rebel
They sang strange words.
The Rebel
(the groove)
Behind the Iron Gate Funeral March
The devil is eating man’s farce!! ]:-> :-D

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №53946
 26.09.2011
XXX: Tell the importance of the atmosphere for the Earth?
YYY: Earth is a planet. It doesn’t matter whether it has an atmosphere or not. Even though the planets may compete who has the coolest atmosphere. There is also an atmosphere on Mars and Venus.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №53945
 26.09.2011
She: What a wise man you are!
She said: Oh you fool!! to
I was described by chance!!! to
I feel sympathy...

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №53944
 26.09.2011
Is the file opened?
See also: Fail
No, the file
I mean, the attempt ended with a failure.
In the sense of file?
WOW: It is crazy! Failure, failure, failure, fucking, refusal, rejection, mistake, fiasco, failure, breakdown, covering with a crap, crash, cancer, upward

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna