My uncle decided to drink tea. He brings a cup of boiling water to his mouth and suddenly coughes in it, the splashes of tea fall into his face, instinctively pulling off his hand sharply, splashing out the tea of his legs, the second wrinkle of his hand to the side and the cup breaks against the wall. The quiet phrase through compressed teeth "good that wallpapers are washing"

Daddy
I go after the Heb.

Daddy
I see it hanging on the bush.

Daddy
Such a cute spot.

Daddy
I am going back, still hanging.

Daddy
And still cute...

Listed
and LOL

Daddy
I thought I brought it home...

Daddy
Upon closer examination, the topic appeared...

Listed
The O_O

Daddy
Yesterday I was pulled off the rope on the balcony.

Probably everyone who returns from drinking at night goes where the sober would never go.

VKontakte advertisements, section of dating:

I am going to meet a tra-programmer in order to get married. I approve: sitting 24 hours a day on the Internet, occupying all the available space under the glands, crumbs on the beard and keyboard, red eyes, spacious speeches about programming and so on.
We guarantee you to eat delicious and regularly. cleaning without moving anything from its place. Go on request. Ability to listen to any oral trends. Moral support and support. Shoulder and neck massage. Silently to approve. The story of compiling the nucleus. and so on.

Discussion of audiences

How can anyone believe in such a shit?! You also write that the Germans invented it during the war, for victory... so why didn’t they compose music that made you crazy or killed you right away?? to

What about Tokio Hotel?? to

The story is real, not copywriting.
Walking in the south along the coastline, a couple was ahead: a guy (P) a clear metallist, i.e. a kitsuh, a bandana, chains and other attributes. The girl (D) was easier, but also tried not to lag behind the faithful. I heard their conversation:
In order to have money in the house, you have to live according to Feng Shui.
To have money in the house, you have to work.
Respect to you man =)

X: We live with a young man and he is roughly older than me.
Y: Okay, this is 10 times.You live in a vampire??? O_O

Listening to the shit is closed.
Ah, I would go back 12 years, find your mother and give her condoms.

Taxi drivers do not know the rules. I took a taxi today, so the driver never broke the rules. The speed did not exceed. long thought about such strange behavior for the taxi driver, until on the lighting he was equal. On the passenger seat was a haishnik in full uniform.

I don’t like his mom, I don’t know why!!!What should I do? how can I get her?! to
Jexx: in the back, with a scarf!and :)

SMS from my sister:
I woke up from the fact that someone was shaking my bed, then realized it was an earthquake and rested.

from the forum.
What is the maximum amount of object entering the vagina?
YYY: I have 30 tons of press covered with this body at work.

Have a good mood ?
Updated 176 days ago
To make me so dumb!

Decided to play with the faithful in bed in something sweet and good. In fact, they were offered an idea with crumbs crushed (well, like just smashing, slicing, nothing like that).
Fifteen minutes later, he said, “Sun, I’ve eaten.” There is no power... Will you make me a minet?"
And then you ask why he has a pinch on his horn and a swollen ear.

In the metro...
I stand, look in front of the door... the scene... the door opens... a couple of 18 years, after 7-8 seconds after opening the door, walked into the door, stumbling, falling, breaking the nose... then I hear: "I entered, fuck, with a puddle, fuck... "

Signs of betrayal:

I came home and it smelled like gasoline. I was riding with my mistress, and in order to smell the smell of gasoline, I washed my hands and soaked my lunch!
2nd In the neck (or other part of the body) scratched wound or scratches! It was a straw, and he struck him with either a sparkle paper or bricks beaten, anything else!

There are, of course, cases that actually accidentally gasoline poured on itself and injured accidentally! Sometimes these moments are worth paying attention.

--------------------
The second point is just a gesture, Rambo is just resting.

by KMP
Yesterday afternoon, I got drunk with a friend and lost. Now I have to talk about myself only on average for a week. Shoot me please.

Fuck you Fury?

Rukenau: It is true. Do you send everyone to the nurses, and doctors too?
I was on the train yesterday and slept on my upper shelf. I wake up, and there down there are two companions talking about themselves. One of them, a doctor, consults with a colleague about who to recruit to the new medical center.
- Mar-Vanna - she is the last fox, no doctor, but how she knows how to upset the patient. Immediately a fifth of directions for tests and ultrasound, and all of them are scratched, but no one recovers to the end, as he came to her, and goes, then to be treated, then to be checked. And the sick love her at the same time, and acquaintances are advised...
Or here is Ludochka, five years of experience, a wonderful specialist, but after all, she is almost all recovering. She immediately diagnosed correctly, the course of treatment, and all, the patient is healthy. No longer comes to her.
And they found that for the Mar-Vanna medical center is 300% more useful, because it brings more money. They joined her candidacy.

to this:
to this:

I was told by all the Russian language teachers that the only word in
In Russian, it is written with two soft characters, and this is the word "seld", here
I grew up and learned one more thing – drunk, it’s been ten years and now I’m drunk.
I know one more...
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Fuck... Which?! to
________

Here’s every fifth quotation about pelmeni... is it so hard to guess? =) is

Everyone who got a message from me: "give me, please, please, please, let’s have sex" – that’s spam. If you agree, write in person.