bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70449
 23.09.2012
He used it as a one-time (and with you created a family).
He loves to take care of him.
She: I didn't find her in the laundry
The Shen's Pride
You have to think about the children.)
She: It’s like she has a silver spoonful...and you eat plastic...feeding?? to
He: the silver was not near (wanted to eat)
Take what you have.)
Hands on, you are a man.
He is ahahahah

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №70448
 23.09.2012
I am the manager of a small company. Recently comes a letter by corporate mail: "Oleg Evgenich, do you know what a hellebore is?)))))". O_o And, most importantly, it comes from a man who just couldn’t write that. Later it turned out that it was a joke of fellow servants. But the point is not that, I was killed by the following letter: "Oleg Yevgenievich, I did not write you the last letter." "I know what a deer is..." Moreover, I was most impressed by the last multi-point. Oh sorry guy.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №70447
 23.09.2012
Muslims burn embassies in protest against allegations that they are burning embassies

[ + 19 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70446
 23.09.2012
XHHH: Boys, what to do? My girlfriend doesn’t know who Duncan McLaughs is!

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №70445
 23.09.2012
On Friday evening, supermarket employees close the shift.
"Cleared" all the cash, I in the accountant’s office help to disassemble the banknotes by the nominal.(Glavbuhša - former, well known in certain circles, croupier)
I quickly managed with my puppet, and I wait for her to finish with her.The time goes by, I begin to miss and unwittingly tell her.
I: What is a coat?
She: mm. o. o. o.
He hanged for a couple of minutes, not even murmuring.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №70444
 23.09.2012
Nothing strengthens true love so much as jointly earned money and the fear of losing at least half!

[ + 34 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70443
 23.09.2012
Business Class Cemetery

“The tongues of fire will lick us.”
(John of Antony)

Vika is my friend’s wife, who has been flying on board for many years.
And what only did not happen to her: and burned and rolled out over the lane, even one footsteps with a deadly outcome was, about drunkards and nothing to say, but when I asked, - Which flight you remembered the most? Wika replied without thinking:

Yes, there is a terrible flight in your head, you will hardly forget. That is, the flight as a flight, went quite safely, but as I remember it, it is still terribly done.

It was in the mid-1990s.
We returned to Moscow in the summer with four pennies.
Even at the landing, I was surprised that my business class cabin was absolutely empty, only one strange passenger and all, no more soul.
And it’s so strange that if it were my will, I’t let it in the economy, not in business. A man under thirty years old, dressed in black pants and a white dirty jacket, all packed: blood, earth and green - apparently rolled in the grass. The face is also somewhat dusty, gray. No hand luggage was found on the passenger.
But he is sober, there is no reason to refuse. I smile, I greet, I sit down, I even offer to go and wash.
They climbed.
The guy asked for vodka and an apple for a snack.
I see, he moved to the neighboring chair and began to talk to himself quietly. I drank a glass of vodka, moved to the next row - the chairs were all empty.
I even wanted to ask him to stay in his place, I was afraid that the whole salon was packing up, but something stopped me, I didn’t dare, only asked all the time, “Do you want something?”
The boy wanted nothing and suddenly cried bitterly. Quietly, with whispers like a little boy.
He calmed down and again began to walk around the salon and talk to himself, as if a man-invisible was in front of him.

Here some two-hundred-kilogram aunt from the "economist", became tight and sick and decided to translate it into my "business", since he was still empty.

The happy aunt came, sat down, just opened the journal, as suddenly my only legitimate passenger approached her and whispered something to her ear.
Aunt sneezed, crossed and quickly, as quickly as her configuration allowed, left the business salon and returned to her place.
After a while, two drunk guys, walking on the plane, saw that the chic places were empty, went in and sat down. I didn’t have time to ask them to leave the salon, as my passenger jumped, said something and the men just jumped like on electric chairs and apologized and ran away.

So he was alone until the end and flew, then crying quietly, then walking around the salon and talking with empty chairs, well, an absolute schizoid.
Before landing, he called me, asked me something, and we talked.
It turned out he was not crazy.

They were twenty-three people, almost all classmates and childhood friends, they flew with the entire “brigade” for a day to negotiate, to shake up their bandit affairs.
They flew, shook...

Negotiations failed. They were all shot and it is not known where they were dug. To escape from bullets and “lost” in the forest, only my passenger managed.

He walked all the way through the empty business cemetery, smoothed the back of the chairs like marble plates and said goodbye to his friends. There will be no other graves.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №70442
 23.09.2012
A genius thought from a sociology teacher’s blog:
If your husband went to another, then her husband went to the third, and so on. Wait, someone’s husband will come to you soon. They have to go somewhere!

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №70441
 23.09.2012
Comments on Smartphones:
Fuck, I won’t buy anything at all. As long as you bring the shit from the store - it's all outdated!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №70440
 23.09.2012
The finest flirt is to sit online on social networks, look at each other and never write anything.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №70439
 23.09.2012
from ZH:
Oh yes! I remember a teacher of literature at our school, Onegina, reading, just missing French words, which she could not speak. Thank you very much, but "you" did not add it.

[ + 17 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70438
 23.09.2012
false ocean: One of me, forever, at every entrance, is pursued by some fool who presses the lift button a fraction of a second before me?and (

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70437
 23.09.2012
The Communist Tsar!! Change your name or change your party.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №70436
 23.09.2012
I get a text message from my wife: Go home, buy a pregnancy test and salt.
I wonder what awaits me for dinner today.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №70435
 23.09.2012
Antony
0_o... I think you’re in the role of a programmer) not insulting said! You are the first, among my acquaintances, a programmer in the sense of a girl programmer)))Unusual how)))

Ekaterina
Well, I was just on vacation.. and usually at home I was in a sweater stretched, with a beer stomach and a beard... =))

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №70434
 22.09.2012
After a tumultuous drunkenness they could not wake up our friend and one guy advised, and you open a bottle of beer over his ear...and what do you think?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №70433
 22.09.2012
Alosha had been looking for antivirus for Linux for a long time and, not finding his native Nod32, returned to Windows, bragging about himself, "Linux for idiots, who is sitting without protection."

[ + 32 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70432
 22.09.2012
I went to the school meeting. It was necessary to sign a collective paper about some bla bla bla. I looked at the sheet with the list of classes, and did not know which line to sign.

I call the child.

Larry, I have a serious question. In what class are you studying?
and Maaaam!
Well, say it quickly, there are parallel mothers looking badly anymore.
Are you mocking? In the eighth!
So I know! The letter of the class, or where I thought you were studying, is already signed.
and mmm. The eighth "A"
Well then it is okay. There is empty yet. And stop roasting, they’re already pointing my finger at me.

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70431
 22.09.2012
The Pneumatic Gun:
The xxx:
If he does not have a balloon and a bullet, can he just shoot by pressing the bullet? Or do we have to put up a closed frame?
YYYY :
Guys, I also don’t know if there is no gasoline in the car and you don’t ride, will it go or should you press the pedal?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №70430
 22.09.2012
I gave my mom no book with Ubuntu, I go to the kitchen - he sits in a sweater and shorts, reads some recipe. I look forward to cutting my beard. ?

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