Mom: Alice, until you get married, you can’t be smart, fool!

Not my, but I am pleased:

The first letter of my son:
"It is not a cigarette. I’ve gotten a kidney"))

Wendigo: Have you turned the cat in the morning?
[11:09:56] Dmitry Safarov: What is the world like not a cat that rotates endlessly?
[11:12:22] Wendigo: and what we are. compared to the wonderful moment when you see that the cat has turned over!
Dmitry Safarov: they say: if you want to live, know how to turn the cat
[11:13:20] Wendigo: Without casting a cat, you will not catch a fish from a pond
[11:14:09] Dmitry Safarov: quieter you turn - further you will be
[11:14:33] Wendigo: you love to ride - love and cat to turn

From the discussion of the article on the Habr about Silicon:

The processor? The sand? What do you mean by the word association?

The following associations:
processor -> sand -> silicon -> silicon valley -> silicon valley -> silicon -> tits

Today I have a cat's hustle.
He came at night, touched his forehead, woke up, lay next to his hand - bit her properly and so fell asleep.

chipip: The customer today was: "I need a SIM on #iPhone Eighth". To my questionable look, he replied: "This is everyone's fifth iPhone, and my chicken has already lost seven."

Onth: When her daughter was 3 years old, she, watching the cartoon about the Mermaid, asked a murderous in simplicity and logic question: Daddy, and why did the prince not change his voice to the tail?
A man like that.

Have you done the world around you?
That you were attached to a little girl – God made this world for 7 days.

vito3000: Another killer iPad :)
Nsktravel: This is tired, to be honest. Let’s agree that the killer of the iPhone and iPad is a palace

29.09.2012 17:01:02, anr
Each kitten, before sending to a new place of residence
Making a fucking
One broke the curtains in the kitchen in the sludge still in the old apartment
A cat knocked a tree at night, bitten a girland and beat toys
The last one today managed to scratch the corner of the cage from the iPad

29.09.2012 17:01:29, SAPRO
You are this

29.09.2012 17:01:33, SAPRO
The tree would come out.

The solution was developed after six months of close communication. It was a solution that eliminated all our problems.
We wrote the dictionary “IT is a woman.”

Please publish it! This will be a bestseller, fucking :)

Tonight a tired picture was observed at Pulkovka at Shushar, the stream taught the rules of decency of the fox on the fur Friday evening, even at 10 o'clock there is a dense stream, darkness, at Volhonki there is a camera and almost all the flow goes 70-80km\h, behind it is carried on the fur and tries to overtake all and all, while constantly glimpsing and the main thing is glimpsing the phares, it would be nice to glimps and turn off, so glimpses for 15-20 seconds and goes, and the far from the fox, in addition to the counterfeit, not two as usual, but a whole guirland on the roof, 4 bigger screens + 2 small, so that all 4 stripes start to shame the bricks and blindly just look in the I’ve been there for a while, the nerve is good. And here the good drivers, building up in the line on all the 4 lanes dropped the speed to 30 km / h and as at the parade in this form followed past the order of crawling gaiters.

Chuck Norris is?

In May 2009, three masked robbers broke into Dolph Lundgren's villa, which bound the actor's wife at home, but fled when they saw who owned the house.

Obuvalov: guys borrow 60k!
xxx: Obuvalov, with such a nick only grandmothers to ask in debt )
Obuvalov: Well that’s a name.

My greatest crime, from the point of view of my believing friends and relatives, is the fact that I told my child about the existence of other gods and religions.

C of Habr.
Article about what Yandex did "Prognosis of traffic jams on Yandex.Maps"

The commentary:
>> It will not work. With your service you will break the cause-effect relationship and affect the fabric of time. In anticipating the future, car enthusiasts will change their routes and thus change the future and in particular future traffic jams. = = )

Millions of Muslims around the world took to the streets to protest against the movie “The Innocence of Muslims,” which no one has seen, but which tells about their cruelty, involvement in murders and terrorist attacks.
Angry with this scenario, Muslims stormed shops, beat random passers, set fire to state institutions, organized mass beating, and in general, showed with all their behavior that they were not as they were depicted in the scandalous film.

Loky Doky: How nice to talk ugly things about people
Leo : No. is bad
Loky Doky: Okay, now I’ll reflect...
Loky Doky: How great to write the truth about fools!
Leo: That’s better

Listen, you are an adult, an independent person. You are 25 years old. For you for a long time everything should be decided by your girlfriend, not your mom!! to

The essence of Buddhism is to fuck the whole world, the essence of Christianity is to fuck the whole world, the essence of Islam is to fuck the whole world.

Comment: This is the essence of Judaism – to fuck the whole world....;)