My friend broke the ligaments on his leg, and the doctors told him to walk with a stick.
I want a trunk like the house!
Everyone wants a trunk "like House"

First of all, after a breakup, you need to be drunk with friends. What did you do immediately after you split up?

I stood up in the middle of the room, took off my pants and ruthlessly scratched the eggs with both hands. Laughing at this bad laugh.

Recently I’m in the gym and I hear this dialogue between the coach (T) and a girl (D), clearly worried about her weight:
Q: Did my shoulders lose weight?
The larger the shoulder, the larger the waist.

I laughed a long time, but he was right)))))))))))

What to do with the monitor if it doesn’t work?by 77?
Crt or ZK?
Friendship : ZK
I: Throw it into the rubbish.
I just brought him from there.

Request for return of goods

Name of goods:
Sony XBA-4 for iPod, iPad, iPhone.

Reasons for Return:
While your store was delivering headphones, I was picked up with an iPhone. I don’t need headphones anymore.

Yulia
The picture was presented by the shades... The girl from the guy flew and has already grown and she takes him for the skin and ticks in the skin "Who did this??? Who did it??" :D

I work in an online store selling furniture. We have a small office filled with samples.
Early in the morning, a happy woman looked at him, shocking with books:
Books guys, books guys! For children, for adults!
Me and the boss, almost simultaneously, separating hands:
Furniture and furniture. For the children! For the adults!
The Woman:
I understand.
I looked out with a sad look ;)

Painkiller: how does the point on the chain?
GizmO_FBI: The monocle of the shale?))
Painkiller: Yes of course!
GizmO_FBI is a

xxxxxxxxxxx:
What do you do?
WOW :
I’m jumping on the rock.)
xxxxxxxxxxx:
OO
WOW :
Damn... on the hole 😉
xxxxxxxxxxxxx:
My imagination has already filled the rest. :D

by Alexander
When will you learn writing?
Christine
Think of my mistakes as smiles :P
by Alexander
Only idiots can smile.

The Revenge of Insects!! to
I just had a small need in the toilet. A mosquito was flying over the toilet and I, feeling like a sniper, wanted to shoot it down with a stream. He hit her a couple of times, but she managed to fly away. Everything would be nothing, but the fly, realizing that it is no longer worth living after such a descent, decided to commit suicide in my mouth... she managed to (((((

I logged in to look not logged in to see if I logged in

Lormirel: What I seem to pass through time and space forever are two phrases I heard from a friend, meaning silent horror. This is "the hair in the veins shattered" and "the teeth of the tooth stood up". I can’t imagine people saying anything else. This is a great way to crack.

Wife: You’re a shit, I know you’ve caught someone.
Husband: Dear, with your life requests, I already agree to have a second husband.

From Habr.
The news about the possible blocking of YouTube in Russia.
At the same time, access to YouTube is completely closed in Bangladesh, Afghanistan and Pakistan.

The most popular comment:
Russia will look great on this list.

Deciding that I would not eat at night, I ate a tomato salad and onion. After 20 minutes, my stomach got sick (((( Apparently my body thought I wanted to poison it. I had to cook him peelings...Explorer=)

A girlfriend has a son.

Anastasia
To whom does he look like?

Svetlana
HZ, I am not sure yet! The suspect dog.

I’ll take a photo of her for free. Well, I will increase the portfolio at the expense of young girls.
Husband Hm. It sounds funny. I will also go to increase the portfolio at the expense of young girls :)

xxx: for me a complete confusion portrait cake, it is with a photo of the nominee on the surface. This is the bad Feng Shui. You are cut and eaten by guests. The insulting dr. The little thing that has grown old for a year, and all around you rejoice, will also be eaten in your eyes?

andquot; stand up Have you forgotten anything?"- I scream to the runaway who runs to work. A compulsory kiss before leaving. The good-believer stops, pulls out of his pocket 5 thousand and with the words: “No more,” he runs away.