We are on holiday by the river, a friend from the city calls:
My friend, Allo, what are you doing?
I am a boat.
Friends, what is the level?

It was in the fourth class. They gave one of the most terrifying subjects - "The History of Psychology". And here in the toilet caught me a fellow student from another group, we will call her Ivanova Masha, and says:
-Listen, I have an exam now and I don't know how to answer, here, I wonderly asked for a pot, I didn't find it in the conscript, you know everything, help me.
So, what is the ticket?
She says the first question. While I think how better to explain to her, from one of the cabins a friendly female voice perfectly explains the topic, though now run and give up until I have forgotten. And with the second question helped a girl from the cabin. Masha is happy:
“Thank you,” he said, “I’ll run and answer everything!”! to
-No, Ivanova, I will give you another ticket, - reports, leaving the cabin, a lecturer who receives us "History of Psychology".
When did you jump and hide?! to

xxx:Well, it was necessary to name syrups for children:"elephant nemm"-to increase appetite and "bags of uff"-laxative!
yyy: The pharmaceutical industry is always fun to live.And you don't have to go far)))

XXX is NO! I found wood for memory. Of course they still have to be processed, but they do.

YYY: Tell this phrase to a man who doesn’t understand IT.

- Can you tell me what flash to buy for 500D to shoot the night landscape?
The plutonium...

I made a salad from real crabs. I received a recipe in Yandex. He gives a lot of recipes from crab sticks. I live near the Pacific Ocean. The crabs don’t have a thumb, your mother!! to

XXX is:
My uncle Gurman.
He says you have to go out of the table a little hungry.)
YYY :
Well, we are Russians, and the Russian people are always splashing behind the table with a stretched button on the pants)))
XXX is:
with a knocked button)
YYY :
Who will succeed ?

No, I’m not ashamed of my cat, I’m always walking naked in front of him.
I wish I was your cat.
He is castrated, by the way.
See also: UPS

You will definitely get it!
“Mom, did you mean you’re going?
There is no sunshine, my mom said correctly.

Diesel: I seem to have my nose broken
Balu: How is it? Clashed again?
Diesel: Yes, if... stupidly, I looked at Rocky Balboa, felt like a cool super boxer, hit the door, jumped to her, and she reopened and I lay on the floor all in blood and rust...
You are an idiot ?
Diesel: it is not the end yet) a friend advised to attach something cold to the nose, there was nothing in the freezer except sausages, I am now sitting in the room, my nose is stuck between two sausages, Dad has seen it all, he is now sitting in the kitchen and chewing, soon the mother will come. I’m ashamed to get out of the room now ?
by Balu :)

From Habr:

xxx: Erotic is a product that contains images of the human body or sexual acts on a digital medium in a format that supports full HD resolution.
Pornography - products with a resolution of 800x600...
yyy: All video products with a resolution below 800x600 are pornographic, regardless of content.

The future of sensor phones.

I am in the year 20xx. The company Aplle releases the "revolutionary new product" - PHONE WITH BUTTONS!!! to
People will say "Wow! How comfortable it is!" There will be various smart words, such as "ergonomics" and "usability".

I worked in the same coffee shop before, and with me my happy friend of Light. There were two rooms, one for smokers and the other for non-smokers. And here one of the visitors (P) from the non-smoking room approaches the waitress Light (C), who stands in the smoking room near the bar stand and asks how to go to the toilet. Light on the autopilot thinks that he is interested in the question, where to smoke and answers: you can right here.
Q: How is it right here?
C: Well here, right behind the bar!
Q: How is this possible here?
Q: Why are you so worried? I will give you a ash!
I could see the expression of a man’s face. He twisted the ashes in his hands, apparently sprinkled, and then burched something under his nose.

I love you so much, I love you so much!
M: You are a shit.
M: Oh
M: the same

The preamble. We lived in a small town in Bremen. I have 4 aunts and the eldest son of them is younger than the younger (sorry for tautology) by 4 years.

So, when the brother began to walk with the girls, the youngest of the aunts, seeing him nearby with the girl, shouted to the whole street: "Denis, will you go in today? Come in! The key is where it is usually!"
Try to prove that it’s not a camel :D

1 (23:33:11 18/09/2010)
I cannot force myself to work.

2 (23:33:55 18/09/2010)
Work made the monkey man.

1 (23:34:09 18/09/2010)
This sort of spell will not happen with me.

I sit behind the compass. The younger brother says, I’ll go and polish a gun. He goes to the toilet. Only after 10 seconds I remembered that a couple of days ago we found a small bronze model of the gun at home.

and x:
in a couple of weeks he managed to do what n-one number of people tried to make of me a year four)
and :
The pregnant? HDD

In two weeks it will be 18. At the age of 18, I quit smoking! and :)
See also: PZDC When in Europe only start smoking in Russia already quit, a war country :D

Yesterday I went to the subway.I was tired... terribly (no strength for anything... I mean, I went out of the subway, sat on the bus, and decided to get out of my pocket on the backpack player... I look at the pocket is open... well I naturally... I blow everything... and the phone was stolen and my player is widely, I look at it...

There are a hundred rubles (not my), snipers and whose phone number is on paper... and immediately my native phone and player...

P.S. There are good people, and there are more than bad ones.