Vladimir Vladimirovich, the ruble falls, the economy lies, what to do?
Has Gus pressed?
– Yes
And the cheese?
and AGA
Pornography is blocked?
Genially

She1 A A A A A A A!! Wendy has escaped!! I think I brought him :-(
Q2: Is it serious? What did you do? What did he say before he left?
She1: I just laughed. And he cried out, “Don’t dare roast when I say compliments!” and ran away.

I am bombarded by the fact that astronomy is confused with astrology. A few years ago, a girl enrolled to us at the faculty (matmeh SPbSU), completely convinced that the direction is called "Astrology". It did not last until the first session even, thank God, so clinical was the case.

Arrived at the mail:

Hi you Eugene!
Employers are actively looking for employees in our resume database. 
In the past week, your resume was viewed 0 times.

I’m happy, now my husband has so many identical socks that it’s enough for two loads of a washing machine. As long as they are all done, at least one load will be able to clean up. 20 to be calm.

Who knows how to spell? There is a small breakdown in the cell phone, you need to plug three wires, I know where, just no solder, no solder or skill. In the repair, they don't want to listen to anything, say, leave here for a week, everyone will see and tell.
Bring a beer and a phone :)
I can only drink beer without my phone.
Alex: Yes, and the grill cloth

Then I was attacked by two!
NN is two? Who is?
fear and disappointment... ((

In connection with the volatile rate of the ruble, T-shirts "I believe in the ruble" will be sold for dollars.

With Hicks, article on head transplantation
XXX: Where will the body come from? Not a word about the patient.
yyy: I think this body is still riding somewhere on a bike and dreaming of beautiful girls =)

It is not the trouble that the scammers try to adorn their worthless lives, whether with a baron’s title, or with expensive watches... or with a military operation... but that all these fucking horses, in the form of decent citizens, support them!!! to

From the discussion of the article on Valeria Spiridonova on the Habrah:

I always believed that such operations would ever be possible.
Otherwise, why does nature create so many people without a brain?

Don’t let him carry the box.
BBB : Why?
Aaa: The last time he was given the cake to bring to the house of our country neighbors, he failed in the swarm, went out, waving this cake for balance, and then handed it up with his legs.

Visiting a acquaintance.
They have a Maine Coon cat, lying proudly with six kittens.
We ask "Who is the father?
We expect to see a photo of the beautiful man with the expression of the face of al "Akel on the rock of tips"

I hear from the housewife - this man walked on the street, she was swallowed by some yard cat.
Pause
(All presented the act of association of the courtyard cat and a small cat)
Then the husband of the housewife (a small man, she is a lady of the housewife) says - and what, I also love big women.

Interesting fact: in Canada there is a bus stop one wall of which represents a advertising stand of bulletproof glasses. There are three million dollars between the two glasses. We would not have stayed there at night.

My mother did not allow me to play computer games, I tried to inject games with my father (beach volleyball, swimming, swimming) My father then enrolled me in the boxing section. Once they learned that I was hanging in the playroom, they sent my uncle to the village to study in the mountains. And you know, I love them for that... Now I love it, at the time I was not delighted with their bans)))

I wash my new passport with my husband, I try to divide it into intimacy:

I: Oh, and I’m drunk... Oh, and I’ll be happy... Yes, stop! Where do you put me so much? A! You probably want to drink me, to take advantage of my helplessness.
husband and sleep.

X: Without this post, I’t remember it anymore.
YYY: Half a day has passed.
Zzz: Half a day is new memes, new users, a new era. I remember a joke that exploded the internet at 9 a.m. and at half eleven no one understood it. I’ve seen a funny picture that has been posted over hundreds of websites and where is it now? He was buried in oblivion, but it only lasted seven minutes.
Only bats, cats and breasts remain eternal.

The Physics Teacher’s Question: What other scale exists for measuring temperature besides Celsius?
The answer of the 8th grade student: calcium. How should the teacher react?
Ask to convert 5 Celsius into calcium, and all that remains, give you in sodium.

He has paid a rise in communal fees again. I am sending a request for current balance sheet to "Mobile Bank". The answer comes:
Oh yeah! * Part of the text is missing *

Husband: bought caviar, prepare bread.
Wife : How?
Wife: Come to the kitchen, scratch on your shoulder, say "Chuck, the caviar is coming, don’t worry"?