News from the Colorado People's Republic:
Colorado Governor John Wright Hickenlooper has written an open letter to President Barack Obama. John Hickenlooper asks the president to influence the Kiev authorities in order to exclude from the circulation in the media and the Internet traffic "Colorado". This is what supporters of the Kiev regime call their opponents. According to the governor, it is necessary to give an instruction to the SBU of Ukraine to withdraw this turnover from use. According to the governor, there were unforeseen problems with the population of Colorado. The fact is that 60% of the population of the state believes that it is their compatriots successfully fighting with some junta in Africa, especially inhabitants of the state are pleased with the reports of the downing of Soviet junta planes. 25% of the male population of the state came to the recruitment points with the aim of registering as a volunteer in the "SEPARATIST" units, to support their countrymen. Two self-defense units have been created by the state’s veteran organization and units are about to go to the southeast of the state to protect the residents of the state from the fascist junta headed by dictator Porosenkó.

For the prostitute Angela, going to the sauna is the only way to meet a deputy in her neighborhood.

Buying a Volkswagen Amarok
XXX: But I am a dwarf! I have a Volkswagen Rhythmbox and I have a Volkswagen Rhythmbox.
YYYY : YYYYYY Today I am changing my name to Ford iTunes! and :)
Zzzz: You are strange people.
xxx: Don’t worry, we’ll work on your Lada Windows Media Player too :-))

We have a staff here, Jules. A beautiful aunt. We all the time with our partner threaten that somehow after drinking we will stay overnight with her, and we will have group sex. What she responds calmly: "Stay there. Sex is sex. Just don’t wake up"

Hubble, discussing a single charger for all mobile devices

At night, when I get into the connector for the first time, the thought always flashes in my head: "Oh, great, from the first time! :) »
Well, if from the second, then I am not upset, not irritated as a neurosthenic and do not make this a tragedy - it is just a cable that needs to be inserted into the device.

Yyy: At night, when I get into the connector for the first time, the thought always flashes in my head: “Oh, great, from the first time! :) »

And it turns out that they got into the ethernet port...

zzz: The main thing is that there are no screams from the “device!”

Dear owners of the iPhone 5S! We remind you that today your phone has turned into a pumpkin, and you have become miserable.

I am here, the Gentile, I believe in the nuts.
The tree,
He was previously a Pastepharian, but began to get fat, disbelieved.

Now I re-read the old correspondence stories... B-je, what a...

But the joke about the "Ladu Channel" with a 1000-inch engine is still more funny than all that you post here.
P.S The quote is short.

-"There is no such shattered topic that could not be hit again."
C. Melanie

I work in production. The buttons in the elevators are numbered by mark (height from the zero mark - respectively, 0.3
8, 9, 14, 21 and 36). When I get into a regular civilian elevator, sometimes I get stuck for a couple of seconds, not finding the usual zero. Prof deformation, mother still at her feet.

Comments on the film:
Drakkar: The plot is not bad, but the set of battles is very good
Alexanderse: “I will drink, but I will not quit smoking.”

Knowledge is power! All the power is in the muscles. All knowledge is in the muscles. Someone just in their buttocks...

The corporate mail.

The Secretary:
Good morning: I will make an order today, write what you need.
So far on the list:
1st Guillotine for Veronica.
2nd Yellow self-adhesive leaves for the Head.Bush;
Three Packages of documents with holes for her.

Veronica: I think after point one, no one will want anything anymore!! to
Could Veronica replace her guillotine with an electric chair? Everything is more human...
Guillotine and a bag on the head (for her).

xxx: let’s "hook up and sell")
YYY: So they took me to work.

From the discussion of the displacement of the iron bath:
If you live on the 10th floor and decided to get rid of the old Soviet bath - don't rush to call loaders - everything is much easier.
The most important thing is to pull the bathroom out of the bathroom to the kitchen, open the window and throw it down, only be careful, try not to get into the pedestrians and on the roof of the entrance.Grain is a very fragile metal and after contact with asphalt, concrete (if you still get on the roof) or just with the ground, the bath will dissolve into hundreds of small pieces.
The next step is the most responsible - you need to quickly, while the neighbors are stupid from what happened, to fit the car and quickly drop the fragments of the bath in the trunk, the person in this procedure needs to do a mistake.

In adolescence there was still sexual arousal when solving square equations..."
I want. I want such a woman.

I was delighted by Jehovah’s Witnesses". They come and ask:
“Bla-Bla-Bla, and you know why man is not immortal?
No-U-U...
Because God was angry with Adam and Eve for their sin, he sent them to Earth and removed the immortality gene from their DNA.

Commentary on one of the Peter's Parks:
XHX: Untreated, forgotten by God park, which plays pop music from the hell of the 90s, and the view wheel opens a gorgeous view of the industrial zone.

One time, one not the worst aircraft engineer said, “The ugly planes don’t fly.”
The shrinkage of IKEA serves exactly as it flows out.
___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Why so many prejudices about Ikea? It works well and does not look bad. And in general, "beautiful" is subjective.