In our difficult times, the most difficult thing is for ordinary people.

A student was very upset when he was expelled from the university football team. He decided to take revenge.

In the summer, when everyone went on vacation, he began to regularly go out to the university stadium in a striped jacket, whistle in a whistle and scatter a grain on the field. When the sporting season began in the autumn in Studgorod, the referry came out on the field and whispered, countless flocks of birds flocked from all sides. The game was broken.

Are you going to vote? This is an opportunity to change the situation.
Where to? All of my candidates are in jail.

Xxx: When my older brother was 5, he went to the cinema with his parents. In the middle of the session, brother and dad went to the toilet. After n an amount of time, the brother returns to the cinema and right from the door in all the darkness screams loudly to his mother that "Daddy is crazy and he needs paper!" In a word, there was a whole route))) it was in a small working village, where everyone, of course, knew each other. My mom is still getting out of this situation.

xxx: Worked at a pig complex, the pigs were fed well and they still ate each other. In one night, 10 pigs can eat one whole ass. A pig approached, bite another by the tail while playing, a wound appeared. and all. If not stopped in time, they will be eaten out. This is not happening from hunger. In the picture are pigs.



Yyy: In one documentary I heard that they were bored, under such conditions of life, every animal begins to behave like this.



Zzzz: I have to take my wife to the cinema. Is it little...

xxx: Went with my husband into the forest with a nightclub, a tent, all the business. I felt the pressure in the lower part of my body, got out of the tent and decided that if I would walk around it, climbing the ground, the shrinking of the leaves and branches would block the sound. At each step, the slightly struggling pressure, satisfied with its smoothness, went to the second circle, and there was rust: "Do you scare the territory or scare off mosquitoes?"

The phrase "simple as three pennies" is still used, and what it means, not everyone understands.

An old friend of mine, after retirement, started teaching young people to drive trucks at the corresponding college. He tells us:

My current education does not impress me. Learn to move backwards, drive into the supposed courtyard. The guy does nothing. Under a straight angle, I explain, once, another, and no hell. Sitting on a smoke. Here he says to me, “Uncle Vitus, how can the angle be straight?”

A new lesson.
The Teacher:
"What are the names of those who chew money out of the country and take it to rich countries, where they spend money?"
The Wolf:
The Occupants? The foreign agents?
Sit down Col. They are patriots.
Foreign agents import money into the country and spend it here.

If at night you want to suck, then dreams almost constantly appear, sometimes interesting.



YYY: The main thing in these dreams is not to squeeze anyone. Even if you are very requested...

My girlfriend had a lover. and married. 10 years of love, passion, suffering, tears and joy. And finally it happened: the man decided, left his wife and moved to his girlfriend. and forever. When dividing the property he got a family dog - a healthy terrier. My friend also had a dog. The problem is that the dogs are not friends. at all! Fighting and the like. The question arose: one of the dogs will have to get rid of. But nobody agreed to give theirs! are disrupted. They departed.

Xxx: A few years ago I invited a German colleague from the Hannover office to visit Peter. It didn’t come in the autumn, as I recommended, but in the winter. The frost then stood, the temperature of the batteries tended to the temperature of the boilers in hell. All the windows in the apartment are open because it is not possible. I showed him the city, after a few days we sit in guests with my friends, he concluded his story about the impressions of St. Petersburg as follows: "But most of all I was impressed by two things, which I will never see anywhere else: the "Lebbin Lake" in the Mariinsky Theatre and that you have windows for opening in the winter.

Xxx: Girls are embarrassed when the relationship has just begun. My friend went home very often and very quickly, and abruptly. At some point, I guessed she just wanted to fuck. I told her about it, offered to close all the rooms in the apartment and go to the most distant one. Include the music loudly. Plus, she gave her a towel if she wanted to take a shower. Eventually we woke up, washed, and then we wore all night.



Yyy: What a romantic story, through the tears

Xxx: I was even worse. We met about 4 months ago at that time. They walked, ate in a little potato and went to accompany me. As a result, after 20 minutes, I realize that ppc, the stomach turns, periodically sweat and I will not eat. 40 minutes to get home. As a result, I confessed, through a couple of TC stations right next to the subway, went there. In general, I just entered the cabin, I didn't even have time to take off my pants (I write to him: I have everything normal, go home. I myself convulsively write to my sister to come and save her) He does not give up, asks. I am what? I sit without cowards, somewhat exhausted by the pants( In the end, I confessed to him, he handed over with some girls a pack of new sports pants, wet and simple wipes, a bottle of water) No laughter) Then I realized that I would be helped in any situation. Together for almost 13 years, 3 children) Every year I love only stronger)



Yyy: A friend is known in trouble, and the bridegroom is known in "need" 😁

His first husband was a pedant and accuratist. A few examples: the microwave should be opened for a couple of millimeters, because if closed - it is not checked, and if opened - it is a mess. The pot with water should stand a pen to the wall, or a mess. Two shots at the shovel is a mess.

My order requirements are much lower. I normally keep my clothes on a chair, drag all the bits to the comp, leave the bed unstated.

When he offered me, I said, “Well, I’m living this way, and he said, ‘It’s not a problem.’”

After a month of living together during a quarrel, he admitted that he meant "it's not a problem, I'll quickly re-learn you."

Grab the talent into the ground, so at least water it.

This story was told by my good acquaintance, who does not claim fame and therefore does not publish this story himself. This happened in 1978.

The Thirteenth Ring

This is a real story that happened.
In a village near Peter, in our country, where I was looking after my sister for 3 years, I was about 15 years old, a well was digged near us. Before I walked for water in a remote well, half a kilometer away. Drawing full cages even on the crown was hard...
In the community on a village from the District Administration were provided concrete rings under the well at the address near us, but on the condition that they would dig this well on their own.
It was accepted that nearby residents, who need this well, either participate in the well arrangement themselves, or help with money.

We lived nearby, I was almost 15, I naturally went to dig.
At this time, the sister was watched by a girl who lived in the same house, across the wall from us, in the family of holidaymakers who rented the room from the neighbors.

The technology of the well is as follows:
There is the first concrete ring, around which and inside which the earth is dug, a hole, until this ring fails down to the level of the earth.
Then on this first ring is installed the second.
Under the first, the soil is excavated vertically so that both rings would slip down.
Then the third ring on top, also under the first, until there are already three...
And so on...
Above the well was a treadmill with blocks of stretching ropes on which empty cages were lowered and raised, full of grass.
In my case, there were 12 rings of 1.2m each.
The total depth of the well was 14 meters.
In a well made of concrete rings with a spade and large shoulders, you will not swallow.
Therefore, we attracted thin (fat) teens to work, like me... (at 15 I was thin and cute)
Until the fifth ring there was a difficult breed - clay with stones, and from the fifth pure wet sand.
When there is a shift of rings, the sensations are not the most pleasant... the walls around you fall down... and high above you the light turns into a narrow pipe.
They dug up to 12 rings, the stem of the well passed, and the 13th ring was placed on top.
I hardly dig a hole under it... The sand is already filled with water, we are very close to the water vessel!
And the 13th ring slips down.

And suddenly it moves horizontally for half a meter!!! to
This is the pressure of the water in the inner sand layer in the direction of the river, we got into the water layer! The underground river flowed measurably through the sand, under the clay armor on top, and here our ring... It began to move it off its path...

To say I was scared, to say nothing.
He described himself in horror, imagining himself buried alive in this well.
Water appeared inside the ring and its level began to rise quickly!
I could see the light in half of what I saw before.

Stir like never before!!! to

I was immediately raised up. Oh no, I am stuck!! It hurts!! to
A scream from above, “Exhale!”! to
He stood up with his feet on the shelf on which he previously sat, breathed out, pulled his stomach, stretched out into a string, raised his arms and head, turned his head to the side, closed his eyes... prayed to God that they would be pulled out...
Through a half-meter gap, I was pulled out to the surface.

After a few minutes, the gap disappeared, the ring with a scratch on the upper rings (it was heard) advanced further, opening a fountain of water that filled the well across the edge, the water beat through the edge with a strong fountain of pure transparent water – the river dropped the pressure.

I was in shock on the street. Just a few minutes and I would not be there. He would be forever murdered under the thickness of the breed at a depth of 14 meters, enclosed in the 13th concrete ring.
I sat on a hill of excavated land and was silent, staring fascinated at that fountain, not reacting to anything... Then I was broken by hysteria... I fell from the mountain, crying, imagining that I would die in torment by staying in that ring with the small supply of air that this ring pulled with it. He would probably have suffered a few more hours before suffocating... A terrible death...

The men calmed me, broke my arms and poured a glass of vodka into my throat.

I no longer remember.
I woke up in bed when I was hindered by a girl with a strange name, Francesca, who lived behind the wall, they were removing a room with a neighbor.
Well here! Wake up! The young man! She smiled at me, do you want to drink? by...
My dry lips were at the edge of a glass of iron with cold water.
Drink and drink!! I swallowed this bowl with large throats, holding my hands as if they were taking it away.
Where is Olya? The nurse I watched.
“Don’t worry, it’s all right, she’s home, she’s been fed.
The UFF!! Where am I?
You are home, you are home.
Looking around, I realized that I was in the house, behind the wall of our rooms, in the neighbor’s bedroom.
I wanted to get up under the blanket, but at the time I realized I was naked.
To get up naked, without cowards, with a girl it was impossible.
“You lie down for a while,” Francis smiled, “I’ll bring your clothes now... Do you know where this water comes from?
from where? I closed my eyes trying to remember what happened yesterday.
From your well. She gave me a smile that I always remember.
*** by
This well was called Sakkin – Sakkin well.
It still exists in the village of Myza in the Leningrad region.

My parents wanted to kill me and reward me at the same time.
You could not dig up the well!! to
Better to give money to professionals.
Eventually, I was almost suffocated in my mom’s arms with tears and laughter.

Parents are right!
Of course I was a fool!
But I wanted as best...

Thank God it ended well!

Vampire hunters come to the castle of Count Dracula. They knock on the door, Dracula’s daughter opens and asks:
You are who?
We are the ones your father hates the most.
The girl cries inside the castle:
Daddy, here are the pids on the self-drivers!

Even when a woman doesn’t want anything, she wants something.

I just read the story of a driver who picked up a woman with children, despise the screams of his boss’s wife.
I remembered a story that my mother’s husband once told me. He is a Moscow citizen, born in 1932. In August 1941, shortly after the Germans began bombing Moscow, their class was taken somewhere to a pioneer camp, somewhere near Jasna Poljana. They lived there for a couple of months, and in October 1941 the Germans broke there... The teachers who were with them were in panic and didn’t know what to do when the director of the camp managed to brake some staff. The bus. The soldiers who were in him listened to him and briefly negotiated with each other, began to quickly throw the boys into the bus and told the soldier-driver to chase with all their strength... And they themselves stayed there... Cover... He also told that a kilometre and a half, 300 meters from the road on which they were driving, several tanks appeared, judging all the German, in one of which the tower turned, and a tankman pushed out of the lookout, but to shoot, why did they not start...
And our military remained there, to die for absolutely strange and unfamiliar children.