Buday: If they write 3.14dots, then why not write 2.718bats?

...
There is a system of card entrance - the card has been delivered, the card has kicked on the reader, the door opens, you take and enter, the system has taken into account how much you came. The accountant alone takes the card, picks, but does not open the door and enters through the gate... and then wonder - why her department of personnel walk tries to put... the door then did not open, the system believes that she did not enter the logs is reflected - Access is provided (picks the card) and the Passage (opened the door), and she has the only access to the entire car center only provided... because it enters not through the door.... and the shadows all in panic - for the whole month she has only exits from work, no entrances.
...
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The electronic system cannot serve as a basis for recovery for passes. The passes are recorded only by signatures in the journal. No signatures, go naked with your automation.
Bring it to the top so that ordinary workers are not fooled.

<yyy> now I will hurt you!
<yyy> Smoothie and Smoothie :)
<Helfenbayne> Pfff...
<Helfenbayne> Tatiana monkey >_<
<yyy> I’m so upset :)

George: All conversations like "Our country needs a strong leader, a strong hand" I associate with "I am a sheep, I am lost, where is my shepherd?"

Sorry, but who put it on the top?? to

I go for mushrooms from Yaroslavl at 6:35 am. The first September. Nearby grandfather chooses someone’s mobile phone for a long time, then calls: Hello, Sashenka? Congratulations on the Day of Knowledge! Someone has a sleepy voice... get up, or you will all sleep! Half Seven, Half Seven, Half Seven, Half Seven, Half Seven, Half Seven, Half Seven, Half Seven This is me, your grandfather. and Sasha! Sasha?? to
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I don't understand what's funny about what kind of fool sends his own grandfather in the ass! Admin is fucking! Have you really flogged?

From the summary:
Courageous PC user.

In Japan, the oppressed invented karate, our oppressed invented anecdotes.by Vitaly Vlasenko

(Hopefully, the cadet Bigler will like.)... Not so long ago, my nephew went to the Eastern Front as a soldier, then as a soldier of the American army in the glorious Afghan city of Kandahar... (Later from the words of his sister - his mother, who visited his homeland in Russia.) They needed to travel somewhere, but whether the way went through the bustling eastern bazar, or something else, but the street was heavily strained with local trucks, aborigines and cars, not paying attention to the "brass" with intervenants and, accordingly, with great reluctance giving them the way. horrendous screams like "Get ap!..." and so on did not help. And then the nephew suddenly remembered the words of his uncle (brother of my cousin, in the 80s also was in this city as part of another, Russian army) about the fact that the local population understands Russian and, taking a loudspeaker, demanded the Russian mother to release the trip... Of course, the Americans knew that among the native Afghans Russian was popular, but not to the same extent! The road was immediately liberated. The soldiers liked this arrangement and began to periodically sign their nephew for this matter.
However, he does not always have the opportunity to make them company, so he did it easier. I recorded everything on the magnetophone, and in the intervals between the phrases I inserted a Russian song... On the question to my sister, what? She replied that, of course, “Rise up, the country is huge!”... The local people like the melody, and another Russian lyric is somehow not very popular with them...

Usually, girls love dolls, and boys are beautiful machines. But this is only until the age of 17. Then everything becomes the opposite.

Do you remember the first Terminator? That’s where he was looking for Sarah Connor. He found it in the phone directory and broke the page. Why Why? Not to forget?
and exactly! by LOL. Or was it an outdated model? Often the reboot went with the return to the original settings without saving the information.
and :D
He had an ancient hard.
No, just a small one.
Normal hard, just filled with infos.
Porn in any way.
He brought her from the future to the past by smuggling.
and :D
There was no porn there. It was he who brought the future.

The first hour of the night I read. It’s hot, the window is open.
From the courtyard:
I am a different wolf. Oh wow wow!
The window knocks upstairs:
In the name of the Light, shut up, Wisdom!

She: My friend was in the Emirates. Women are so respected!
He is: Yes? It is strange. In what it is expressed.
She: Well, for example, if a woman violates the rules in a car or strikes a cowboy, then the police will not pursue her. Call your husband or brother.
He is HM. Are you sure that is respect?
She: In the sense?
He: If a harmful child breaks my window with a ball, or a neighbor's cat snatches a fence on the front door, then I will not talk to the child either. I will go to my parents. And I assure you not because I respect the child (animal).

In connection with the new rules of the Russian language, it is proposed to contact the Minister of Education "management of abrasion". Let him enter history under this shameful pseudonym! Flashmobers of all countries - go out!

They say new is well-forgotten old, but I have not forgotten old quotes so well as to laugh at the slightly reworked new ones.

...and then entered the little bald grandfather on the armor, and illuminated the district with his voice:"Towag'seek! Fuck you at G's! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Article: "How to bring a child to school"
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Handbook for the collection of children)

In the morning after dinner, while all our friendly company was asleep, we prepared breakfast with a friend. I went to awaken the people... I went into one of the rooms, asking: “Well, young man, do you wake up?”" And that one answered me with such a tricky rose and a smile on the whole face: "Well, excite...)"

<hoag> gave my friend-odmin for the 20th anniversary a huge box of condoms - 100 pieces - with the signature "Annual stock"
<hoag> he looked around her, and with sadness in the voice, so: "Zapas, march, two hundred years..."

The case was long ago. One of my acquaintances, finishing 11th grade, took up NPR (scientific and practical work), briefly wrote a reference. And now our teacher had not much time to check his 120-page writing (the work was gigantic), read a few passages. And then a friend decided to stick and wrote in the middle of the report (on page 66) the word "huy" (directly in the middle of the paragraph). later, coming to his mentor, so that he assessed his work said literally the following "young boy, work in order, I count it and already redirected to the city" (city competition). My friend in panic - a fiasco, a complete failure... on the third day he was killed. On the fourth day he was informed that the work went autonomously to the city, then to the district and took the 3rd place in the regional competition. "prize" - 1000 rubles "premium of the mayor" and unforgettable memories :D

He married a woman with a child (girl) 11 years ago. Probably not a good husband / father, but wanted to ensure them a decent future, spent a bunch of work almost to a nervous breakdown, gave them complete freedom. And here, a year ago, I learn that a faithful woman found a guy 11 years younger and oret - love! He dropped his five-year-old son from his knees and wrapped him. A year she was virtually not, and here it is stated and "oy, and I am a mother. Let me pay you money to give you my son". PM is fucking.
Okay well. My daughter might be smarter. It turned out not, also hates me and left to live solely because of material goods. Home no fuck does, only in the WOW and with a friend "love" turns. They wrecked me so that they broke my bed. Conscience and brains were not enough. He looks at me with honest eyes, and behind his back whispers how ugly I am.
So, apparently really ugly, shoot in focus.
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Give me the coordinates. I will shoot them!