bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №19973
 04.09.2009
experienced a shock.
At work, the water was cut off, as a result, the toilets were closed.
I went to a local institution of the type "sort". In it, in an honorable place (right in front of the eye of the whisperer), surrounded by all kinds of abuse and censorship, the written with a large, careful handwriting is beautiful.
You will never guess what...
"A Elbert Hilton..." In English... Fully...
There are no words.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №19972
 04.09.2009
<@Notaha> the jury on me stands up
<@Notaha> small but pleasant

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №19971
 04.09.2009
From the C/C Forum:
An adult cow could be taken for 5 thousand.
An hour or a night?

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №19970
 04.09.2009
In the ZH:

xxx: there are fossilized mammoth extremes (presumably)
Maybe it is just a stone. I am changing for SAAB 900 to 85 years of production

Yyy: There is a piece of iron 3 kg.
Probably the SAAB 900 85 year of release. Do you change?

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №19969
 04.09.2009
Dyos: They made a mark. The double consistent. Probably fat. Now black paint the strip in the middle.


[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №19968
 04.09.2009
She: How is it? There is no hot water in the house for two weeks, and you have a clean head?
He: I don’t use it.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №19967
 04.09.2009
Requirements for the candidate:
The enthusiasm...

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №19966
 04.09.2009
The abyss rolls! I read every day and today caught myself on the thought that the abyss replaces the news: all the most relevant topics here. And about the bats in Saa and about the new rules of Russian language...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №19965
 04.09.2009
Often you understand a woman without words, you almost understand half a word and you do not understand when she speaks.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №19964
 04.09.2009
The National Question or the Mouth of the Baby

As usual, the preamble. The fact is that in Estonia many officials, when they have to speak in front of the Russian-speaking public completely forget the Russian language, and in order to understand them, use the services of "six" translators. Well even though! After all, the President of Estonia himself said at a press conference that speaking in Russian means recognizing the occupation of Estonia by Russia.
So, my son came back from school on September 1st all satisfied and told the following story. A district elder was invited to the solemn line to the Russian gymnasium. He gave a speech in Estonian without a microphone and quite unclear. After that, the assistant present in the vicinity translated everything he said into the microphone. After that, dozens of first-class students ran to give flowers. Guess who got all the boxes? The translator...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №19963
 04.09.2009
The inspector addresses the driver:
Sorry, you couldn’t park your car somewhere.
In another place? I know this will cause you some inconvenience.
Please enter into my position. The point is, here is the
It is a good place for me to watch the crossroads.
And, seeing the amazed face of the leader, he adds:
to translate?

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №19962
 04.09.2009
She: Where was she missing?
He: I have a son.
She: Oh yeah, how old are you?

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №19961
 04.09.2009
The world-famous psychologist Alan Pease said:

The real idiot in terms of sign language is George Bush. When he became President of the United States, his first official trip was to South America. He descends from the airplane, smiles and shows with both hands “the goat” (a compressed fist with a folded index finger and little finger). and PRIM. The Aut.) Because in North America it means “happiness.” And in Brazil, where he arrived, it means "you are a coronarian, and everyone sleeps with your wife." And here the Brazilians begin to whisper - they whisper someone, it means sending him somewhere away. In the United States, people whisper when they like something. And here, Bush goes down the stairs, holds two "goats", the Brazilians whisper, saying to him "you there," and he, pleased, nods his head and shows a gesture - "thank you."

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №19960
 04.09.2009
I went to America in the summer. I went to a bookstore looking for books that interest me. Here my eyes fall to the Russian speaker. I open, there is a dialogue described in the bookstore (Seller and Client):
Q: Is this a bookstore?
Q: Yes, what would you want?
Then the client asks about a book, buys it.
K: Oh yes. Do you have vodka?
P: of course. Do you need a large or a small bottle?
Q: Please give a small one for my sister and a big one for me.
P is OK. Something else?
Q: Do you have white wine?
P: No, it is over now. Will bring next week.
K: Thank you and goodbye.
My brother and I spent 30 minutes.

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №19959
 04.09.2009
The survey:
Why don’t you get along with girls?
3% I am shy
5% I don’t know.
10% are very busy.
82% I am an Elf 80 level

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №19958
 04.09.2009
I sit behind the comp and think about sitting still or going to clean my shoes. Here in Ashka comes a message from a friend who lives quite far away:

<Victor> is clean!
<microz> what is it?
<Victor> sorry, not there :)

Five minutes of shock.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №19957
 04.09.2009
Re: The worst act

Kol2000: Having sex in a nightclub with a great dating, then (long ago) it seemed super dupe

I-one: I had sex with a girl in the car on the go she sat on me and driven and I switched speed and pedals controlled, and on the back seat slept in a fucking drunk her boyfriend - a boxer)))))

Oldman: The car was not a green eye by chance?

Are you not a boxer?

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №19956
 04.09.2009
Father is a director of a large company, with great connections and an international image. She sat in their office, laying at him in the compass. I came across the ass, a letter with a slide:
Father: Hey you, the deer. A beer duo!
ZAM: I will not go.
Oh, and you are wicked!
A: You will not be fired.
A: This is why?
A: And you love me :)
A: Oh, and you will not object...
A: You mean to love. Get my salary?by m?
A: If I raise your salary twice a month, I fear the rest will suspect that there is something between us :)
C: You won’t get up, I’ll say I’m your mistress.
A: Of course, everyone has a mistress as a mistress, and I, Stsuko, Sergey Nikolaevich.
Hdd, get married to me!
A: I went to oppa, I love my wife!
A: From the soot! The economist sent for a beer, but he persuaded the buffalo to sit down, the lazy became, she sent the courier, and he persuaded the guard to drive away))))
Fuck, the sheep are lazy! Better to sit!

This is... business negotiations.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №19955
 03.09.2009
Deciding to prove the theory of probability, the prede took a coin and threw out five eagles in a row. He grabbed, and with the words "well you understood the principle" returned the coin.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №19954
 03.09.2009
Opera 10 has fulfilled a childhood dream!! The images on the site start to open from below! Truth is no longer necessary.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna