xxx: At the time of the device, we were told that we could work from home, and indeed, we came home from work and worked from home!

She is:
Do you know how I can? I would like to tell you ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
He is:
Noah and Noah! :)

She is:
Well, as a bee... I know how to cook borscht and paste peelmen. I am a goddess in the kitchen.)
My head never hurt.)

She is:
In the afternoon I am a hostess. And at night... at night the story begins)))))))))))

She is:
And I can talk little, if necessary, again.

She is:
Oh oh! Here is one more! I’ll have my own apartment soon.)

[16:28:27] Daddy: left the compass – all like smoke – over-stressed eyes? How harmful it is!
[16:41:25] Dad: it turned out to be real smoke – I forgot about the meal and it burned while I was with the translator

I lie with my husband in bed, and behind my grandmother’s window a song of all sorts sings. And loudly so, to the whole courtyard.The third hour no longer stops swinging.Well, the husband did not stand, says, I will go and tell her to close her mouth, but the neighbor above is ahead of him, and we hear this scream:
Listen to you! Percentage is out! Close your mouth bad.
And in response to him a boy, with a quiet voice, under an unceasing exhausting song:
She doesn’t hear, she’s in her headphones.

When they dig under you, it's shit, when they dig for you, it's a pipe!

Weather forecast, weather forecast... At Eurosport the "technical break" was marked as 6+.

My husband is going to give me an injection, at this time our three-year-old son enters the room and with a joyful look declares, "Daddy, when I give, and I still hold her in my hands!!!" 0 - O

We discussed with a friend the composition of our common acquaintance:
Despite all my disrespect for the composer, the music is really good.

Fuck, I’ve been joking! Could you help the cape? 10 minutes to fight.
Gumanist: May you already help to destroy humanity, ugly robot!? to

Education and work experience:
I have finished college and I have a normal job. What am I doing wrong?
You get bored.

From Habr:
I will never get tired of reading articles like "nuclear bomb with my own hands from an old vacuum cleaner and goat liver", thank you!

Diablo 3, the general chat, about the prices at auction:
Cannabie: I sell Bugatti Veyron or exchange for a monk's top. Possible payment...

Playing in Dark Souls
S0l1d-V3X: Yes well fuck
S0l1d-V3X: I was hit
S0l1d-V3X is
S0l1d-V3X: what a shit
S0l1d-V3X: I’ve been sick
S0l1d-V3X: MORE
S0l1d-V3X: He comes out of the underground
S0l1d-V3X: He caught me by the foot
S0l1d-V3X: And it has begun

The Daddy:

I play tanks. There is a little boy, 2.5 years old, on his knees.
The tank goes, the tank fires.
I: Right, right is right.
Suddenly they wander, I sit silently.
Fuck the fly!

There is nothing funny about this, it is necessary to raise children, and maybe we have two-thirds of the growing generation - there were alcoholics.

"Russian footballers beat Ukraine, becoming Paralympic champions"

Let’s learn, ladies and gentlemen.

From comments on the trailer to the movie "Piranha 3D":
XXX: The movie pulls on the hard two! And it's just because of the titles) Comrades don't have to look at this! Do not waste your precious time.
YYY: You looked at your chest, and you tell us not to look? Oh yeah thats! I climb!

A woman who sincerely believes that she is irreplaceable and generally the only one is a stupid woman.
Dan: Well, I realized I didn’t give you it.

Today I dreamed that I got a license to sell pirate discs. I was happy until I woke up.

And she has a daughter "because she wants children".
Why is the Darwin Prize not awarded in life?

The Darwin Prize is such that it is given to idiots for not passing their genes on to the next generation in the future, and not having time to do so before. A positive contribution to the development of humanity.

I went to my parents today. Father (B) and mother (M) are sitting behind the compass.
I: What are you doing?
M: I choose my car!
B: (Out of the room, half loud) Liposuction...