bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №39961
 08.12.2010
from the dialogue of the staff of the municipalities on the connection of heating and electricity in the garage boxes (in the north in mid-December):
When will it finally be warm and light?! to
It will be light in the day and warm in the summer.! to

[ + 74 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39960
 08.12.2010
My name is Vova...Looks like Vova...
With this knowledge, I left WoW'a.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №39959
 08.12.2010
I came home from work, I sit playing with my nephew (5 years old), well, he is interested, asks:
Q: "How many people do you work at work?"
I: "Well somewhere over a hundred people"
P: "Oh, there are also extra ones!"

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №39958
 08.12.2010
Kissa: Oh, I am afraid of the most!
Rider: Well for example?
Category: Type of Blood
Are you fainting when you change the pad?
The user has left the channel
The Rider: GY

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №39957
 08.12.2010
If a woman is equally good on all sides, it means that she is a mattress.

[ + 47 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39956
 08.12.2010
I urge the boss to make the tablets: "Do not touch - it will kill" and "Do not include - people are working". The boss then forgets, then something else, in the end, I go to rejection - no profit without a sign, life is more expensive. The boss gives a lock with a key - hang, say, in addition to the ears of the box, no one will open, the key only you have. I swallowed and went to work. He wrote "do not turn on" on the paper, glued to the scotch, switched off the machine, hanged the lock. I work.
The radio played. I didn’t pay attention at first, and then, as I hit my head, the radio played! It is asked in the rosette. I let the wire go, which cleaned, the pulse jumped. I take a prob - there are certain phases, and I cleaned the zero, and the phases in a centimeter from the hand were. I don’t want to go to 380. If you don’t die, you’ll burn up heavily, you’ll get stuck to this tension for some reason... I’m going to “discover.” The box is open, one ear is opened, the machine is turned on. There are 6 Uzbek people working in the organization. We begin to find out - they have a plate hanging on this machine in the wagon, and a hose hanging. What is written on paper? Not to exclude. And I didn’t turn off, I just clicked, made the plate to work. Why do I shake my ear? How else to get there?” The boss notices wisely, well, you would not help the tablets. Immediately an ultimatum was put forward - until tomorrow the tablets in two languages, Russian and Uzbek. It was invoked by the most explicit Uzbek, who wrote in Uzbek language in Latin "Do not touch. It will kill!” In the evening, I picked up my ears with electric weld. The next day continued. Two tables and a castle. I work. The boss calls - urgently blow to the warehouse, there you need to reconnect the machines. In the warehouse, I was delayed for 3 hours - I had to do, connect, phase... At the same time I ate in the dining room.
I go back and shout – the radio sings. At the closet the picture is a sprinkled castle, and next to it is a Uzbek. What do you think he does there? Stand and watch that no one puts anything in excess while they are cooking there. I call the boss, unavailable. I leave him a note that I resign, and I leave there for Fig.)))

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №39955
 08.12.2010
Who said blue is bad in Russia? On the contrary, they install blue lights on cars and pass forward on all roads.

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №39954
 08.12.2010
News "Because of the fact that in Qatar you can get 5 years in prison for homosexuality, gay people decided to boycott the 2022 World Cup"
The first comment
Football without judges. Enchanted...

[ + 63 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39953
 08.12.2010
Running into the bathroom. Remove the curtain. He poured on me from a bowl of ice water, oret ''sicks' ticking in my finger. It turns out. In Sparta, he opens the door with his foot and runs through the corridor. After ten seconds with the words oh sorry I did not close the door returned. He left again.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №39952
 08.12.2010
The sister said.
Jules, is he shooting at you?
and no.
Are you with him?
and no.
Your relationship has not yet reached the right level.

[ + 98 - ] Comment quote №39951
 08.12.2010
I was riding a trailer today and watched this picture: Full pressure, people fighting. And then a drunk man begins to argue with a woman (somebody got on something), a boy who sits next to this woman interferes:
Boy: "Stop the quarrels! This is not good!"
Male:"Clock the mouth of the puppy!"
Boy:"Go on the goat!"
A man will hit him. Mother puts in: -"Remove the hand of the bastard!"
Boy: “Suk, I don’t allow you to ride trailbuses anymore, fucking!” Is it right?"
Mom:"Right son"

[ + 118 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39950
 08.12.2010
Fuck the pedestrian driver.
For some reason, when I cross the street (on a pedestrian crossing), I first look - whether the cars are far, and I pretend - will have time to slow down or not.and only then I start the movement.And if I see that can not slow down - I stand waiting when it passes.and only then I go.
Do you know why?? to
And I saw what happens to those who after accidents (4 years lying in different hospitals, traumatological departments).
And you, the brainless plankton, to whom the pedestrian crossing is obliged to miss, I am steep, then you become the slugs that let the saliva.
Climb under the wheels further... the world will become cleaner from your pants.
Oh yeah, what do you think.

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №39949
 08.12.2010
Probably after a query in Yandex: "man’s murder lawyer has no evidence", in the home comp, it is still worth thinking seriously about divorce?? to

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №39948
 08.12.2010
A woman, a beginner driver, is preparing for the first long trip to work.
What is the best way to go tomorrow? Which road?
The Iron.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №39947
 08.12.2010
There are ice sculptures in the park.
YYYYYYYYYYY
YYY: and at us the municipality on the roads of the cottage made... pedas

[ + 88 - ] Comment quote №39946
 08.12.2010
Compared to our officials, Moses and the Beast are normal men.

[ + 56 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39945
 08.12.2010
by Cheetah_r:
06.12.2010 10:58:48 News: Tajikistan citizen fell on Saratov station and died
09:01 Resident of Kazakhstan died at the station in Saratov

Cheetah_r: I am told that firewall is working!

[ + 63 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №39944
 08.12.2010
Yesterday, on the bus, my aunt quarrels with the driver:
You are dry, you are dry. Not one with a hole, but a dog’s mother!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №39943
 08.12.2010
Each self-respecting Sisadmin should have 8 shirts of different colors. Orange, white orange and green.
And in the closet they should hang in the right order!

[ + 94 - ] Comment quote №39942
 08.12.2010
XHH: It was a long time ago, in the first course, we came then yet the whole group on the first pair of English. by eight in the morning. The Prep:
Did anyone learn French at school?
Zero of reaction.
And the German?
A couple raised their hands.
Go to the department and find out where you have a couple. Have the Germans gone?
A sleeping voice from the back:
The Germans left in the 45th.

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