Only in Russia the machine for the sale of tickets for the electric car can stand after the turniquets

Three years old, I learned to talk. While she does not get very well, but the phrase she can say at least in the middle of the night wake her up is “I don’t know.” We went to the farm on the weekend, and there are cows pasturing nearby. The further dialogue:
- IRA, say - "co-ro-va"
I do not know.
“Then say, ‘I don’t know how to speak " cow".
“I can’t talk to a cow,” said the child, and then it came to him that he was brutally beaten.

Q: What to go around and around, I ask straight: do you have a girlfriend?
M: In general yes.
A: It is a pity.
Tag: a girl

There was no sex in the Soviet Union, there is no love in modern Russia.

It is said that if a man with a pure soul and pure thoughts asks God for something, he will get it.
Once I worked in the center of the capital, and every day I spent from 4 (if lucky) to 6 hours to get to work and back (I live, I have to say, outside the city).
And day after day, dragging in the boring morning traffic on Kutuzovsky, I accompanied by the envyful gaze of the overwhelming bearers of eyebrows carrying on the special (split) strip. And a betrayal thought stumbled into the head: "I would also have to ride this way - with the wind, with the separator, with the flash..."
The dream came true, and even sooner than expected. One day I was taken straight from the office by an ambulance with a suspicion of appendicitis.
Just like I ordered. With a mirror. by Divisional. by Kutuzovsky.
With the wind.
Since then I have tried not to be jealous.

Obama has proposed that Israel return to the 1967 borders. Israel has pledged to comply as soon as the United States returns Texas to Mexico, Alaska to Russia, and the rest of the territory to the Indians. And in general, the president of the British colony cannot speak without the permission of the Queen.

A woman is a woman who does not suck herself and does not give to others.

Hi baby baby! ?
WOW : Well. Hi to.
I am looking for a girlfriend!
WOW: Congratulations to you. and what?
I want to fulfill all of her wishes!!! Do you want to be her?
WOW: Oh yeah! Yes to! Yes to! It is crazy thirst! My first wish is to write me a curriculum!
Where did you go, baby?

She spoke to her boyfriend as an insinuation:
I: Will we have two cars in our family?
He is: Yes! One in my family and one in you.

Why are men so pedestrian?! to
One such gallant guy kissed my hand...and there were traces of the dress left on it!!! ><

Gave a computer. They have a 6-year-old son, a very serious young man, I think - let him learn. After some time I come to visit, I am sitting on the hospital with a broken left arm. The compiler does not function. It was good to start. I find that the screw is literally stuck, incorrectly installed and removed games. I grind out these Augie stalls, removing everything, injecting order on the C disk.
All is flying. I’ll call the coach and find out what games to play.
She asks to light up the car so that the child doesn’t ride in it while Mom and Dad are at work. I do.
Arrives from the Gulag Chado. The dialogue:
Did you do the computer?
I have done.
Played the games?
I did what your mother said.
I will play now. (I pressed the turn on button. The password window appears.)
C is what?
I. Your mom asked and I put a password on the car. Now the computer will only start after your mother enters a password so that you don’t play when they’re not at home.
Q. Do you know the password?
I. Yes Yes
Q tell me!
I do not.
I’m breaking your second hand!

A real gentleman will never say “blonde.” He will call her "the light head".

The situation is this: New York, Times Square, Saturday, 14:00
A man 90-100, and here out of the crowd is a loud scream "BLACK".To him everyone immediately pay attention, say WTF, a signal from cars.The man immediately explains: "I broke a bottle of vodka for 1000 rubles!!! :( And here out of the whole crowd 30 people scream "Bad!!and "

xxx: I recently watched the movie "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and it was said that only proteins can scratch the nuts without damaging the inside. Ivan did the same thing today. From this it follows that Ivan is a protein!
Yyy: No, she just came to him so often that he took on the experience.

discussion of news about the possible merger of the "last call" and the day of Slavic writing

Let us make a new celebration!The last bell of Slavic writing. Let us note how
Let us make one celebration a year, and the rest of the days - to smell. It will be called, for example, the Last Old New Christmas Easter Birthday of Independence and the Constitution of February 8.

Carlsberg is probably the best beer in the world.

I bought a cake :)
WOW : Which one?
XHHH: Judging by the name - with poultry meat.
V: "With chicken" what is it?
No, "s kiwi" :)

Discussion on mobile phones:

The problem is that when I call, nobody hears me, but I hear very well. What is the matter? What should I do?

Yyy: Don’t be silent

Raise the ass! You are a lazy fat!
There is a word fat, no word fat. You are an ulcer on the body of literacy.
You are a tumor on the body of the couch! You get fat and this is your kind of activity, so you are not fat, but fat.

My first unforgettable love was at the age of 13, the love of all my life!
Actually, she only remembers the old personal diary, from which I took it.