bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №97193
 28.04.2014
Now humanity is deprived of mobile phones, the internet and television — and the fuck will come before you remember the name of the capital of Madagascar.

YYY: You made me google.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №97192
 28.04.2014
In the morning there was no internet at home, wrote a SMS to his wife to find out whether to call tech support or not:
Is the Internet at home?
Wife: If he is not there, will you not come home?

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97191
 28.04.2014
Today, 66 years ago, one of the best contemporary writers was born. Terry Pratchett, health to you and longevity!! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №97190
 28.04.2014
Comments on Space Pirate Harlock trailer

xxxh: ordinary anime, I don’t understand enthusiastic reviews
Yyy: Uncle, it’s not an anime, it’s an anime...
X: Is this fucking out of space ready to fly??

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №97189
 28.04.2014
If you don’t want your goods to be downloaded for free – do quivals and don’t fuck.
___
In addition to:
Consider this in the West: there the main earnings of singers - tour, attributes and interviews. Accordingly, in order to earn money on your singing, you have to do at least 1 of 3 things at the level: 1) be able to sing (many participate in major festivals where there is no phonogram, the same Rammstein, Metallica) 2) come up with the band's adhesive chip (Gaga / Aguzarov / Manson - spit) 3) be able to submit and sell the media (previously this was the story of a poor teenager from the tubes, now - a student from a music school, but this only allows you to keep on floating).
And now pay attention to our "copyright holders", what they "have": 1) phonographers who don’t shine at any festival 2) silicone lips and breasts (very relevant and very lacking now, ah) 3) dumb as traffic jams.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №97188
 28.04.2014
The xxx:
Find books with a genuinely loving person.

YYYY :
XXX, 1984 by Orwell

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №97187
 28.04.2014
The fascists of the future will call themselves anti-fascists.
by W. Churchill.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №97186
 28.04.2014
At the Ukrainian borders – powerful troops of the Russian Federation, possible invasion.

XHH: And sho, will we turn on Russian channels?

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97185
 28.04.2014
About :

I read the "Fenimore Cooper’s Beast ". I came to this phrase: "...in the light between the leaves looked an unusually nice young female face, and so close that the Beast could reach him with a beast."
I have only one question: why?! to

The author gives the reader information about the distance. Not to write, "to the face was 5 meters 50 centimeters."

Do not look for meaning where it is not.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №97184
 28.04.2014
We have 4 single women and 2 cats. And when a knife falls on the floor, we don’t try to knock it on the floor three times. We begin to put order and secretly hope for happiness.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №97183
 28.04.2014
Take care of your pets, after buying sausages keep in an inaccessible place for them, because they can find them and get poisoned.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №97182
 28.04.2014
Experts estimated that the scientists proved that a former congressman said that according to eyewitnesses, according to analysts Ren-TV would not lie.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №97181
 28.04.2014
I bought myself one and a half kilos of M&Ms!
YYY: Will it not slide?
XXX: They are with nuts
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY Well, with nuts, it won’t stick! ?

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97180
 28.04.2014
Here is this:

The granddaughter of the writer, Valentina Katayev, told how her girlfriend at school was asked to write a piece about what Katayev invested in the image of Vany from the novel "Son of the Regiment". A friend came to Katayev in visit and asked about this the writer himself, taking his words as the basis of his work. As a result, for the composition, she received a three with a minus with a comment that Katayev thought about something completely different.

*** by
This story is told by Darya Donzova about herself. And the daughter of Valentina Katayev, who really knew her well as a child, says that Grunja (the real name of Dontsova) has always been a townhouse to lie :)))

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №97179
 28.04.2014
If you can’t get your girlfriend to have sex for a very long time, she probably has enough sex without you.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №97178
 28.04.2014
Dedicated to grandmothers.

My mother is a wonderful grandmother of two grandchildren and two grandchildren. The daughter was born with an angelish appearance and with the same character, and the son - with a similar appearance, but a terrible flight. “Flight” is said too softly. At that time, my husband was often on business trips, and I was tired. “Tired” is also softly said. I looked just "chic": the blueprints under my eyes ended somewhere in the chest area.
My mother decided to give me the opportunity to translate the spirit and took the children with her. for a day.
Going away...Kaifu. The next day I woke up for lunch. The phone. by Mama.
and hello. You are how?
Mommy is great! I drink coffee in bed.
Who was cooking?
Maia, she cooked herself. The point is not... You understand, I lie... No one dive into my bowl, the sandwich does not lick, the body does not bump, the finger does not curl in my ear... Beauty!!! to
I know... rest.
Mom, how are you there?
It’s here... (in the phone)
........................................
The Dinner. A bell at the door. I open. My daughter stumbled into the apartment. At the threshold, in the foreground, my second child is outstanding: the eyes shine, a healthy ruby, a smile to the ears, on all six teeth. Behind him is my mom and for some reason does not smile: takes a slide on the back of the head, hair from under it in all directions, no gram of cosmetics on the face, a shell on the neck - dangerous nodes, a coat tied through a button, a pointed face (apparently pressure). Mother is trying to push her grandson into the apartment. He cries and cries.
Take your treasure!
I catch the treasure with a dead grip. I hold. Trying to escape. Mom, taking advantage of the moment, turns and runs down.
Oh my mom! (I scream to her back) Where are you? Let’s eat and drink a cup of tea!!! to
thank you! And another time!! (from the bottom)... and “babah” (metallic entrance door)
For a while, I stood on the staircase and thought: How did a 63-year-old woman manage to escape from the third floor in five and a half seconds and jump out on the street?

My grandchildren are my second youth. :)

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №97177
 28.04.2014
And remember, in 2010, the main news on all TV channels was a shark-man-eating in Egypt. It was gold time.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №97176
 28.04.2014
Buy food for cats and fillers. They ate everything and swept everything.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №97175
 28.04.2014
From the fortress textbook:
"To display the content of the file on the screen, tap the
Two times the mouse."
Now I understand why this language is not so widespread now.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №97174
 28.04.2014
I asked a friend: How was your birthday? Tell me
She said, “Yes, as usual... she ran, put the chicken in the oven, cleaned the potatoes, cooked, washed the dishes... fed everyone, got the flowers!

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