The Habr:
The military can ask for anything. Although a proof that you are not a Genghis Khan, but legal claims from this will not become.

A rough home shugaring. Yes, there is such a word. Excerpt from a guide on this difficult discipline:
From the first time the sugar hair removal paste may not work, then you will get delicious sweets.
But humor is not that. I dropped this text to acquainted ladies - they complain that they have some syrup instead of sweets
3 hours of hysteria.

xxx: there is also said that the robot was collected from false materials
xxx: I would get it from cardboard and plastic bottles
xxx: and they had something under their hands was quite suitable... yeah... ready parts of the robot

Ohhhhhh And with me, there was history. In the first week of buying a car, during the trip, my rear wheel dropped, which I didn’t even notice. The good uncle on the lighthouse told me about it, I thanked him and went on the way. Arriving at the destination, I decided to call the nearest railway plant to make sure that they are not accepted by record (the first time they were asked for their services). We had this dialogue with them:
Can I come to you now? My wheel was down.
Yes of course.
Okay, I will now.
I'm going to put my phone on and I hear:
Oh girl, stand still. How did you go together?
Usually, I sit down and go.
It is not possible to ride on a lowered wheel.
I am completely confused:
Oh, and what to do now? Calling an evacuator?? to
At the end of the wire I hear a wild roar. I know you said something wrong. I laughed to explain the existence of the reserve)))
Oh well. Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Ohhhhhh Don’t tell me, I’m still ashamed.

My six-year-old daughter’s hair, I water her head out of the shower.
Mother, don’t drop my brain!
I am 0_0
“Well, you pour water, it gets into my ears, and from there it drops into my brain.

His laptop under Gento is so rough that it charges from the connected iPhone.

Hi, let’s meet you?and :)
Did he smell the grave?
Oh sorry not you.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

From Habr:
Some vacancies hang for six months, and when you come to the interview you see a fantasy.

What are your achievements?
The accomplishments? With a salary of 20,000 rubles per month!!! I have both eyes and I don’t wear my pants.

<SAPRO> Here is the MTS wholesale service! I called them "Hello! In the subway, your network does not catch from Taganka to Ryazan Prospekt. Previously caught, and on the cover map is drawn what caught." - "Thank you for your call, I made the application". I watched it in a few days and it was repaired!! Remove these stations from the coverage map.

To save their face, women use makeup, men use scars.

Polygon, district center and clinic.
Table on the office: Dentistry.

A really cool person is not one who buys a car to go to work, but one who buys an apartment near work to walk there.

xxx: Thank you to everyone who supported the veterans of the WOW on Twitter. We are far more than those who do not yet understand the meaning of the Great Victory.
YYY: All right, Twitter support is just what veterans are lacking.
You have a lot of things missing in life. But respect and gratitude, if you know these words, is not in the last place.
yyy: The question is whether veterans are familiar with the word "Twitter".

Nicole
Was there anything before the creation of the universe?

Favourite
Black emptiness... and a lonely console.

The minor TP, who ruined a family photo session with a child, showing the "fact" in the background (Volgograd, onshore), - I hope your children will be smarter than you. Print what, your face and glue half of the city?

eulenspiegel7: I don’t know how Dallas’s plan is, but in early Russian marriages there is a huge plus – by the years 25-27 there are large flocks of light and still fresh prey (women or married, who have been bored by their husbands for 5 years before horror).
Father, you are a cynic.
eulenspiegel7: I'm not a dog, and the word "Fu!" won't stop me when I see a delicious wild :-).
eulenspiegel7: A "Fi" - so much more :-)

xx: Aqua parks are generally amazing places full of surprises, I once jumped into the pipe in a swimsuit, and ran out without it.
Yy: Surprise, it’s if you ran without a swimsuit and ran out with it.
zz: with the next descending it happened

Argus [9:26] Hello!
The Joker [13:17]
Argus [13:20] Hrenase you are brake
Joker [19:46] as I can))

I read another quote about the installation of a windscreen at a girl's house. I have been asked many times to put the window at home. I came... and put... a window...
I wonder if I’m stupid or I’m exaggerating.

I realized how small he grew up when he walked over his head opening the upper door of the refrigerator.