bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №111970
 11.04.2015
"Please be quiet without fines Idea for stimulating citizens
to install water meters with the help of fines failed"

In Ireland only in March of this year a water fee was introduced and in Dublin thousands of citizens went out to demonstrate against such bribes.
Zzz: In the end, the police dispersed the demonstrators with water bullets. At the same time, as noted by the representatives of the city of Dublin, each taper was equipped with a meter of water consumption.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111969
 11.04.2015
Tomorrow these non-Christians will greet each other with phrases -"The key to the start - They really went!";

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111968
 11.04.2015
I went to the girl... On the way, I went to the market - bought foods, then to McShmake - took a couple of "RazorviEbal"... I came, fed, cooked borsches (shob, at least, a couple of days did not starve)...
I was fucked somewhere, right? and :)

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111967
 11.04.2015
Toilet network from Nikita: Let me joke.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №111966
 11.04.2015
If it’s true that racial discrimination has been eradicated in America, then why Will Smith always plays a Negro?

-
Eradicated, Smith will play Deadshot, the white comic hero :D

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111965
 11.04.2015
Working on the game, found a piece of someone else's code - when the validity check of the object index fails, the message "IF THIS HAPPENS - CALL 911" comes out.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111964
 11.04.2015
What to answer to the person(s) who calls and asks if my wi-fi adapter will break through the concrete wall? and :)
yyy tell him that the adapter can and will break, but the perforator is still better.
Zzz ask him to bring a wall sample

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111963
 11.04.2015
What is heavier: heavy metal or heavy rock? Or is there a genre that is even harder?

xxx: And how do you measure the "weight" of music?
YYY: In kg, obviously

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №111962
 11.04.2015
I’m in the bus (I’m sitting on the pre-last seat), in front of me is a young mommy with a carapuse sitting on her knees facing me (mama doesn’t see me). My gaze and the gaze of the carapuse crossed, we smiled at each other, and I began to show him the tongue, I will show him, he to me, I to him, he to me, so it lasted for two minutes, then the carapuse cooked to his mother and showed her the tongue. The little boy looked at me with such a look as if I had betrayed him...I was ashamed.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №111961
 11.04.2015
by John Shemjakin:
I heard today in the physical culture circle a phrase that made me scream "AAAAA!"
"During a private dance in Samara, the stripper didn’t stand up and cried to the client of the borst".
That’s all you need to know about the media.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №111960
 11.04.2015
Son (7 years old): Here is my friend Margaret at school. She likes pink, but I don’t. But if she loves pink, I have to love her, because she is my friend.
Wife: Take the example of your son, he understands women better than you.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111959
 11.04.2015
I can’t understand the photo of my favorite young ladies in the mirrors of clowns...Tipo: Ura!!! I am a puppy???! to

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111958
 11.04.2015
to this:

10 April 15 13:33
About the little cardboard.
Indeed, it became less.
— — —
But the joke is the same.
Fast food (by technology)
It seemed more real.
The bigmakers. It broke, or it
The placebo effect?

Potatoes are not Big Mac. This is just a potato baked in foil with salads. When I have nothing to do at home - I baked in the oven just wrapped with foil, I cook a crustacean salad without rice, fine-cut marinated cucumbers and if enough - marinated mushrooms. Everyone cheats and cheats. At a segment price for five people to eat tightly comes out 600-700 rubles. Those who first became rich, having invented it as fast food - attention. It’s a pity that we are not ?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №111957
 11.04.2015
Now Mikhalkov instead of the team "motor!" will shout: "free cash!" (C) Palich

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111956
 11.04.2015
I’m embarrassed to ask, and what does it mean "good"???? to
............
Kilometre to mile.

“Monia, you know that Moses is a p***r!
Shao, Isaac Solomonovich, borrowed money and did not give it?! to
No, in a good sense.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111955
 11.04.2015
Friday, end of working day, women's collective
Teens all dressed up in advance, although there are still 10 minutes until the end of the working day.
The boss asked
Is it not hot?
My aunt said thank you.
and gone

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №111954
 11.04.2015
Astrologers have declared the month of spring. The number of tightly strapped jeans of women’s buttocks increased by three)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111953
 11.04.2015
In the room enters a colleague, a fan of Hren-tv and other superstition:
You know, on the planet ##@ you found life!! to
Are they wise, or are we wise?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111952
 11.04.2015
Nikita Lesnikov: Did you eat without us?
[1:29:40 PM] Pushy: I was sitting nothing predicted trouble
[1:29:42 PM] Pushy: I was hungry
[1:29:46 PM] Pushy: further than in the fog

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №111951
 11.04.2015
xxx: Who, well who could have taught an Italian colleague on the fourth day of stay in Russia to respond to a more or less decent (for Friday) sexual harassment with the phrase "LOSOSNI TUNCA"???? to

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