bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90865
 09.12.2013
Teach your children not to grow up haters and degenerators.

__________

Sorry for not growing up.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №90864
 09.12.2013
Friend (D) recently worked on an elevator 18m high.
(D): I am afraid of the use )))
I’m afraid of height, here’s the oil.
(D): from Tarzanka jumped too from fear
I also climbed the roof out of fear.
You would be afraid of money. He earned them with fear.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №90863
 09.12.2013
In this regard, the question - what hat to wear in the winter a decent mouthpiece?
yyy: my wears bright with a pompon - but he's not decent, he's a programmer :D :D

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №90862
 09.12.2013
xxx: and in the name of the fortran77 number 77 is Moscow?
This is the average age of programmers.

[ + 29 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90861
 09.12.2013
The disrespectful dean.

The respectable compatriot:

Dear Ukrainian people!
Speak, please, in your Ukrainian language as you like: although "in Ukraine", although "over Ukraine", although "under Ukraine".
And we speak in our Russian language as in our language to speak correctly: "in Ukraine".

What is "In Ukraine" If you speak of an island, you should use "in": "in Cuba", "in Sakhalin". To make it easier to remember, pronounce a phrase in your mind without shortening: “On the island of Bujane,” “On the island of Easter.”
And now compare: "We will go to the country Russia", "We will go to the country Ukraine".
With respect, Dean of the Department of Classical Philology of the Faculty of Philology of the Moscow University of Lomonosov, Solopov Alexei Ivanovich.
= is
Dear Alexey Ivanovich.
I sincerely hope it’s not you, but some of your haters. Because if the dean of the department of classical philology of the Faculty of Philology of the Moscow State University knows neither the traditions of the Russian language (in the Crimea), nor the instructions of the Institute of Russian Language of the Russian Academy, then this country can no longer be saved. and :(
Are the deacons at the head of the department? I thought the directors. The deacons are at the head of the faculties, right?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №90860
 09.12.2013
3Jlou CTpeJlok: My talisman, he, you know, always with me, I periodically put it on everything around me, and whoever I put in, it helps greatly.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №90859
 09.12.2013
The Juice:
I have had cognitive dysonance 3 times in the last 2 days.

by Maria:
Give me the details)

The Juice:
In short, my grandmother bought sweets "magic forest"!
And on the fantasy are drawn animals elephant, cat, sheep, that means that and candy in the form of this animal inside.

Oh well luck!

I turn the elephant, and there...the bear! Shut up, shut up, baron!

This morning again.

Opening with the cat.

There is a Lion.

The HDD grows overnight.

Here is the cat, here is the elephant and the lamb.

I bring it to my mom and show it, and she wants you.
I: Aha, heavy drugs are the engine of progress

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №90858
 09.12.2013
On verifying data for validity and processing a bunch of potentially possible exceptions on Java.

Haskile: Well, it’s really boring.
Haskile: There would be nothing meaningful there.
Tagged: ANN NO
haskile: you just try to figure out where else you can guess, and you check if you have not guessed.
haskile: it is like cleaning up in an apartment that you rent overnight, after it was filmed by a company of students of arbitrary PTU, which arranged a large and noisy party there.
Haskile: with a LOT of cheap alcohol
haskile: "blin, and in the closet! What kind of people!"

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90857
 09.12.2013
And about jealousy invented boring spouses to give at least imaginary colors to their gray existence.

If you are married to a dull gray barrel, it is not a good idea to spread your problems to everyone.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №90856
 09.12.2013
Correspondence with the (Z)constructor of the exhibition area:
Q: xxxh, look at this option, if you put the bar stand on the same line with the reception there is a chance that people will fall from the podium.
The people who participate in the exhibition are not valuable employees of the enterprise, it is necessary to put the bar stand on the same line with the roof.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №90855
 09.12.2013
Conversation with the client:
– Arthmias, hello, are you comfortable talking now?
“Well, how can I say, I’m so upset now... guess now, I’ll get up.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №90854
 09.12.2013
We brought Christmas presents for the children of the employees (cocktails and other lobbies).
Dialogue with my wife:

xxxx
The gift to Lizzie came from work))

YYYY
I think 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉

XXX is
What a music box with candy)))

YYYY
Let’s eat and dance 😉 😉

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №90853
 09.12.2013
The Winter. A farmer, a mother, a truck prevents dirt.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90852
 09.12.2013
Dear Father Christmas! I was a good boy for 15 years. Give me a fucking seeker.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №90851
 09.12.2013
The daughter (4 years) learns to read and does not read everything and everywhere.We came to the neighboring courtyard to ride from the iron hill.Daughter:"Mom, something is written here, let's honor X..."it had to be interrupted...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №90850
 09.12.2013
The damned door was clearly in my hands!

The first rule of magical protection: hands cross-cross.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №90849
 09.12.2013
About the Marriage of Shalapin from the Black Humor Area:
The boy married his grandmother, and when he died, she got all his money.

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90848
 09.12.2013
have survived. I go out to smoke, there are drivers, men under 50. And discuss the Germanic-Italo-Celtic nuances in the texts of the group In extremo. And painted so, with characteristic matts. "And here in that song, he so desperately ho$chats on the wool". I never considered myself a metal player. Who am I now?

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №90847
 09.12.2013
Not because I look younger than I am, but because they thought it was an ancient grandfather at forty. But I thought they were just fools, I did not expect it to be such a mass phenomenon.

I am for you, boy. A fifty year old girl.

[ + 45 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90846
 09.12.2013
— — —
Giraffes will never get used to the idea that you can eat normally and not get fat. If you call all thin people anorexic in the full and satisfied form, what will happen when you get hungry?
------------
And anorexics will never accept the fact that someone can eat anything they want, and he is absolutely petty to your body cult.
He has already hit God. Live your own life and don’t get along with others. It’s comfortable to be fat, what’s the difference? On the contrary, he likes to eat a salad leaf a day and exhaust himself with exercise, well, his right. What fashion is it like? The fat fights with the lean, sex minorities with the natural, women with the men, gamers with the realists, Ukrainians with the Russians, etc. Why is it now fashionable to humiliate someone and tick his nose that he lives wrong? Teach your children not to grow up haters and degenerators.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna