bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №13655
 14.01.2009
Liska (12:08:23 13/01/2009)
And I’m dancing at home... I’m jumping around the apartment in one(sorry) string!))))))

NoMaTM (12:09:30 13/01/2009)
And the breasts are so bump-bump-bump (sorry).

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №13654
 14.01.2009
ViewSonic has unveiled its ViewSonic VieBoo laptop. Here is a dialogue in the store:
Do you have a Toshiba A300?
No is!
What about VieBoo?
- You know, I saw the A300 in the warehouse, now I'll look at it.
by Greycrane

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №13653
 14.01.2009
If a man offers you unique sex, he is realistic.

He knows what

He can’t do it a second time.

He will not be given a second time.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №13652
 14.01.2009
http://www.yaplakal.com/forum6/topic228763.html



A long time ago, when the Earth was still small, mammoths wandered around it.



In short, my father commander, in the rank of colonel, congratulated me on the pursuit.

The senior lieutenant decided to send me at the head of a group of soldiers and

a young praporstnik Vasy to repair one school in a small village on

Mother of Russia. It took a year to repair the school. I have to tell you about Vasa.

and separately. It was the healthiest structure with a height of 2 meters 12.

He weighs more than 150 kilos and is always smiling.

The face of a happy fool. The building had the 47th size of shoes and

Master of Sports of the USSR. If in brief.



Vasey and I took out the room of a pretty vigorous grandmother - "God's Dove",

She also worked as a carpenter on a small local farm. The barracks for

The soldiers were arranged in the same rebuilt school. Ended in the courtyard.

of October. The first frosts came, but Vasya was forever running down the courtyard barefoot and

No cold took him. Despite the fact that Vasa was the same.

Leningrader, like me, the grandmother immediately saw a relative in him.

The village bone. Vasya did not refuse, because the grandmother always tried.

To feed the orphan.



My grandmother had a pig. Neither I nor Vasa, even though we are

I have lived in the village for a month and have never seen this pig.

only his "fifth" in a rubbed low window of straw, in which

This pork was placed. Grandma regularly dragged there in two old ones

In the morning, the waste of our soldiers’ lunches and dinners and the bread she bought.

In the village. We also pulled something out of the patch.



One morning my grandmother knocked on the door:



Don’t you kill me a pig?



– Why not strike, mom... – Vasily replied gradually. – A

Will there be meat?



- Will, Vasenko, will, you have blood gathered, a little bit on the pitch.

I will put them out, then I will make the sausages out of them, I will cut the head with a toporik,

Go to the basement, to the ice. Not for the first time, not for the first time.

Vasenko... And do not forget to burn, the soldering lamp is in the sandwich...



When the words "blood", "short" Vasya frightened and convulsively whistled

He shrugged his head. The grandmother viewed this gesture as a sign of consent and

I put it on the morning breast. I am pleased (in the right of commander)

He appointed Vasily as commander of this autodaph.



What will we do, Dimon? Getting his bare legs apart.

I asked Vasily. Have you ever killed a pig? No is? I too

Did you read in the books? Did not read? I didn’t read them either, but how? with a tail,

Need a knife or a knife? Fuck, and you won’t ask anyone, all the warriors.

Muslims and pigs have never been slaughtered, so they came to her.

Even if it doesn’t fit... Will we do Hule, Commander? Can you kill a pig?

If anything, I will help!



“Huiechki-miulechki, Vasenko... In this difficult job, I appointed a commander.

and you. I can give you advice: with your silky-dubinushka I'd just do it.

Snoop him, fuck him once with your fist in the small spacing of your eyes.

He squeezes at the moment. It is possible that he and your

Good shit, let’s go and look at the pig.



And we went to the chicken. The spectacle was terrible. Small in the dark.

In our eyes, the evil looked at us in the shape of a monster. Immediately remembered

The school textbook entitled “The monster is big, big, big and big.”

The myth of Minotaur.



“Hey, Dimon, he’s twice as big as me! He enchanted Vasya.

Everything that moved and the dimensions did not give way to Vasa, Vasily on

Genetic level is respected. There are two hundred kilograms! Fuck... let’s

Even if we drive him out on the street... Here he will make us both with you, as we do.

God of the Turtle.



In the bright morning light the pig seemed even more to me. The pig

He snorted, squeezed and shrugged toward a clothed fence, closer to the

There is still green grass. He did not know about the upcoming murder. He even

He did not suspect that a 24-year-old bloodthirsty murderer was standing next to him.

by Rod. The sun shone in the crystalline sky to the south.

The cockroach pulled the clone.



I will tell you honestly. In school, we were not only taught how to build. We were also taught

to fight. Each of us was ready to fight against the enemy. We even

I took an oath. But no one warned us that we had to fight.

against the pig. Maybe I could take it out of the AKM, I could even

Clogged with a knife. What to do like this, I think.

A simple, even domestic situation? Meanwhile, Vassilius came out of the barracks.

Lamp and shade.



Are you so upset, Vasily? Did you get his coarse wheel? Mining and

Firefighter, a militia of 1812, fucking...



Are you criticizing, Commander? If you criticize, then offer...



I was wisely silent. There were no proposals. The pig cuddled in the shells. Vasya

He tossed the earth-mother with bare heels.



That is what, Vasily. We live in the 20th century, not in caves.

Scientific and electrical. A pig in a pork, near a pork.

we make a slice with salt, increase the conductivity, so to speak, take from the warehouse

"Two hundred" nail, we attach it to a wooden slice. One end

the nail will be the peak, we will make the electrical cable to the hat, the wire to the second

End of the Rosetta phase. Everything is understandable? Study as long as I am.

The engineer! In short, fucking a pig, drag a nail and a wire, and I am still a puddle and

I will do salt.



Vasya looked at me enthusiastically, being amazed by the breadth of engineering.

and genius.



Having fulfilled the agreement, I poured the pig into a pit soaked in warm water.

The Bread. The pig flew to the pit and began to eat his last.

The Dinner. Vasya’s overweight with the “electrodrin” was beautiful, as Peresvet

against the chest. Approaching, Vasily from scope planted the "electropic"

A pig in a bowl.



U-I-I-I-I-I!!! A wild whistle spread over the whole village, and crumbled, crumbling.

Everyone on their way went to cut circles in the spacious courtyard.



You are a fool, Vasily... in the bowl! It is not 2 centimeters! by V

In the stomach, in the stomach, or in the side he had to beat! Did you study physics?

It is an isolator! Give it new.



The pig “new” categorically did not want. In the corner of the yard, he

He looked at me and yours. But hunger is not aunt.

The bread scattered in the bowl smelled, and the pig lost his vigilance.

Stir to the feed. Vasya took the starting position, covering himself with the left.

with his hand the door of the sarai, and the right pressing "electric drone" like a spy.



— Chingchuk, fucking... — I smiled. All of you, Winnie-Puchovsky Root,

Fuck you came.



At the moment, Pizzetz in the image of Vasily with all the dust slapped a pig in the

The underlying.



W-Y-Y-Y-Y and W-Y-Y!!! The pig went to cut the circles again...Nothing of it.

and bravo. “It’s not summer, I thought. They would have come up now,

Their grandchildren and grandchildren started. It is so quiet, the village is deserted.”



Vasya snubbed, splintered and went to the cellar for cigarettes.



and Dimon! by Dimon! You look, you look! The wire from the roof has fallen! must

just fix it with an insulator, and everything will be up to date, as it was taught in school!

Now we’re mocking him like two fingers!



The slaughter of the pig began to resemble a farce. Bread prepared for

The murder was over, the day was approaching noon, soon it was

Back from Grandma’s Farm. The CETNOT. Time is money. The case required

The acceleration. The whole picture was ruined by a pig. He wanted to eat, even booze.

approached the feeder, but, seeing Vasy's approach with the electrodrin,

He fled to a remote corner of the courtyard where there was no electricity.

The situation became threatening. The account went for minutes.



I’ll take him trick now. I’ll pretend I’m passing by.

And I will throw myself on him, I will doubt for a couple of seconds, and you will shake him!



Driven by the hunting charm, I immediately agreed. Vassula, by Vassula

“Sherbursky umbrellas” moved toward the pork. A pig alone.

His eyes were on the other side, and his eyes on the other side. Vassula has walked

He escaped from the courtyard. I was stunned, and the pig was attacked.

of benevolence. Suddenly out of the fence appeared a red patch of Vasily.

Vasily showed me with his eyes and gestures that he would now move through.

The wall, the pig underneath itself. I only have to put a pig.

220, and the case in the hat. I shrugged Basil’s head.

and Agha. The Special Forces, Yopta



With a powerful leap Vasya swallowed through the fence, melted a pig under himself, and,

He lifted him up over his back legs over the ground.



The smoke, be! Vasily stood in the middle of a saltwater. and what

and I? I am a military man. Orders are orders. I hit it.



W-Y-Y-YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Y-Y-Y and Y-Y!! W-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I!!!! to



The pig, rushing to the ground, climbed to the covered door leading to the straw and

He began to rush on her in a dog-like way, seeking rescue from two half-fools there.

in military uniform.



Vasya, whitened and closed his eyes, fell to the ground without moving. Finite LA

Comedy... I thought feverishly.



Electricity at 220, salt hose, naked heels. Current through pig, Vasily, heels

went to earth. I killed a man. I killed my subordinate.

That is all. This is the end. This is the court, the court, the deprivation of the officer's rank,

The prison...



Suddenly Vasya shrugged... Slowly got up, looked around. scriptured

The barracks. Grandma is back. The pig threw to her like a devout.

He hid, as much as he could, for a futile figure.



What, guys, have you done?



I was training, I was training. Tomorrow, all tomorrow...



The pigs will be killed tomorrow. 1 litre of sameon. The tractorist

From the neighbor’s house and struck.



And Vasya brought me a signature report in the spring.



Here is Commander. I decided to study. Sign a report on training.

I went to the Pushkin Agricultural Academy. by

of livestock. Please sign up, right?



Learn, Basil, it will always be useful! I said and signed:

I apologize to the superior executive on the substance of this

The report.”



and signed. I signed without looking. Without looking in the honest blue eyes of Vasena.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №13651
 14.01.2009
The statement "I have nothing to do with" usually ends with the question: "You

Do you love me?"

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №13650
 14.01.2009
Conversation with the Boss:
I: Vasily Alexandrovich, the customer got, the forces are not charged, do not deal with them or I will send them!! to
Chef: These are our main customers to send them we do not have the right and in general according to the laws of business we must love them in every way.
I: I am an employee and I prefer to love employers exclusively through the bosses.
No one has ever called me Gandalf so beautifully.

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №13649
 14.01.2009
WRYYYYYY! In the abyss is just barbarism!
Dear administration, please enter small IQ tests instead of words. This will allow you to divide people who want to share humor and people who post a joke on the machine! You will not add a quotation again if you have to think a little...

Whoever is tired, do not regret the plush.

The cat, the shredder, the odmin, the greenpeace.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №13648
 14.01.2009
by VKontakte. In the photo, the girl stands on the ankle in Nevada, the description: "This is I in Peter, on Petropavlovka, Day of the City". Comments such as: "So beautiful", "Sunshine", "You look good". One comment: "Have you then not grown the membranes between your fingers?"

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №13647
 14.01.2009
The telephone conversation:
Did you lose your flash yesterday?
Did you lose what you want as a reward?
You know, we accidentally looked at the content, we can offer you
Position of system administrator.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №13646
 14.01.2009
Daddy, if you read, Dima is my boyfriend and we are going to get married!!!! to
Mommy, if you read the book, stop smoking us, I’m 18 years old...I want to do it twice every 4 months when you go on a business trip.
The smoke!! Hold on! We will break! "I agree" is the answer to your proposal. We get married in July.
and all!
(Huyasse Blonde Shredder Cat Odmin O_O)
Help me to make a personal life!

and Gerda.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №13645
 14.01.2009
Request for interruption...

Please stop reading the abyss and go back to your business.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №13644
 14.01.2009
Volch: You read Bas all day with the boss sitting opposite. Back home, back to the computer. And you read again with the same, fucking, stone rose.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №13643
 13.01.2009
1: When I bend, my hair on the face slips, ppc

When it gets worse in the mouth.

And when you walk on them, it’s more shit.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №13642
 13.01.2009
by Deimos:
Putin said "Gaza will not!"
Israel has understood this...

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №13641
 13.01.2009
Constantine (11:58:16 12/01/2009)
We are preparing for a friend's wedding, we are looking, as appropriate, for all kinds of games.We found his father's old book "Council to Love (methodical recommendations and plan-scenario for the conduct of an unshakable wedding)":

"Kipvik" - this dpevny dance-igpa came to us from the Baltic States. The boys become a puppy, and the girls, coming out of the puppy to a puppy, puppy into the puppy. The one of the young men who manages to catch him on the flight, gets a chance to call this girl to dance.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №13640
 13.01.2009

NAHA07: Could we meet? =) is
V.A.GGo with you, shame on the people.
by NAHA07:? to
V.A.G: Oh, forgive me, I’m so wrong))Prasty native will not repeat
NAHA07: No, you are lying, you really wanted to write this to me???? to
V.A.G: No bl* yourself mja such a carve and nothing you write
NAHA07: Who is it?? to
V.A.G: Bl* forgive))) Again the window mistake, I am writing here with my sister so in the ass)
The hour has passed. *
I have almost everything on the net!!No class, and you?
V.A.G. I have PPS, all day apart from you absolutely no one (

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №13639
 13.01.2009
Pariah: P.P.Z., I have done it, I look at a happy telephone, there is an abama that opens something and eats a hamburger, all around with glasses, the speaker broadcasts something reasonable-good-eternal and everything would be nothing...
if not the voice on the 2nd plan in Russian "scha buchnem folk"

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №13638
 13.01.2009
Exp3rT: About the fact that passing the exam to this teacher will be fun, I understood, after reading the first review about him on the formula... "on the exam he fell asleep and fell right on me..."

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №13637
 13.01.2009
We then went with a companion to the store and asked for a lighter, a bottle of water and a little chocolate.
The seller thought and said:
There is no foil in the small Alyenka.
...and we thought we bought a big "Alanka". Such things.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №13636
 13.01.2009
What did you watch Hentai?
yyy: the black Bible and the Angel of Death Jabriel (well or so)
X: Did you feel ashamed of her?
YYY: NEA
I am a monster.
Yes, people were fucking there, you should at least be red.
Fuck me, and what?
YYY: I also have a day to go.
Fuck, they are fucking fucking!
How funny you are ?
XXX: But... they were fucking!! X is (
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna