bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111790
 07.04.2015
As a child, I read a lot of books about animals.
In particular, it was said in all that the cat when walking pulls its nails and walks quietly.

Then what kind of cat is my cat throwing around the house so that the complete feeling that a man is walking with his nails?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111789
 07.04.2015
My mom came to the clinic today.
A man, a red face, came to the registry with the question - to which doctor to go.
They ask him what the problem is.
I drank a liter of vodka yesterday.
What exactly are you complaining about?
What if I can drink a liter of vodka right now?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №111788
 07.04.2015
I was with my son on his birthday. My son was 3-4 years old. The animators played "Terremok". The rabbit appears: Children who is it? What is he eating? The cabbage? Let’s give a rabbit cabbage.
The fox appears: Let’s say hello to the fox. One of the children stretches a fox of cabbage. The animator says: No, the fox does not eat cabbage. Here my catches a rabbit and goes to the fox: well, you have a rabbit then.
The Good Boy: Facepalm

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №111787
 07.04.2015
The country was successful:

"In Moscow will be carried 1418-metre Georgian tape..."

"In St. Petersburg the place of a playground will take the temple..."


[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №111786
 07.04.2015
This is a constantly emerging Ukrainian-Russian topic.

The Ukrainian government is an aggressive idiot.
The Russian government is an aggressive idiot.

Ukrainians and Russians are brothers forever.

There are certain layers of the population, easily manipulated, in connection with the acute deficiency of intelligence - they are, will fight. Luckily they break each other. The others are brothers.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111785
 07.04.2015
I started reading information security books. When he came home, the cat found another hooliganism: he opened the kitchen door, hanging on a pen, pulled a baton from the table and, hiding from the murder, quickly wandered under the couch. Usually I accepted this and the happy cat left the shelter after half an hour, knowing that the deadline for the crime had expired and he successfully escaped the punishment. Having remembered the good advice of the Customsman and the postulates of Bruce Schneier, he laid his lazes on both sides of the couch with boxes of shoes. After another machination the cat on the usual scheme ran into the first "nora". He stumbled into the "bubble", moved to the plan "B" and headed to the second entrance, but there the security gap was removed. The cat in confusion hanged, was immediately caught, after which an explanatory work was carried out with him on issues of good behavior and sophisticated manners. Thank you Customs and Schneer!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111784
 07.04.2015
Discussion of petals and births of troops:

With the shield, the lawyer; with the sword, the prosecutor. % of

WHO IS THE TAPOR? and :)

ZZZ: The Orc? and :-(

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №111783
 07.04.2015
I hope everyone can survive the shock of this news, but nevertheless, I hope you are ready for it:
If you came to the store without taking money - and you were not given anything there for free, then it is not a seller such a bastard that "only from laziness you do not give a leash" - it is to buy something, you have to come with money,
If you did not take the rights with you, you were stopped by a truck and driving a car without the rights had the corresponding consequences - no, it is not a truck, it is to drive a car with the rights.
If you take the garbage not into the garbage containers, but dumping it in a pile near the entrance, and the utilities do not take out this garbage, only the containers are devastated - then this is not the utilities, this garbage must be thrown in the place.
If the wife washed everything that was in the laundry basket, but at the same time all your socks were thrown into the dirty form under the bed or hidden in the chair - it is not a woman, a scapegoat, trying to manipulate - this laundry underwear is folded in the basket and once the socks were not there, so they were not intended for laundry.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111782
 07.04.2015
But I wonder, where is the line of permissible hardness and devastation between the films 0+ and 4+? AQ

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111781
 07.04.2015
It is nothing else. I am more concerned about why women go to the toilet in couples?
-----------
here everything is easier, either to hold a bag, or in case the cabins without doors stand in place of the door :)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №111780
 07.04.2015
Ingvar Filin: Actually, I don’t understand modern gamers. Especially the horror game. The last horror game that cranked is Silent Hill. Outlasts and other hernia are complete, even amnesia with the second sh is not close. It supports sudden moments, yes. But damn, I could have been in serious seed a couple of times too. So what makes him a horror now? I will tell you what real fear is. This is when a giant worm eats your harvesters. I was more afraid of this hernia than of the monsters of the shes.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111779
 07.04.2015
She told me, “I’ll go to the hotel only for the classic.
I said that I would bring with me Pushkin's tomic and a boiler for the teaker.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111778
 07.04.2015
XXX is wow! 2.6 kilobytes per second Seriously Torrent?
Yyy: (suddenly jumping from the couch) I need to turn off the soup!
Well... I don’t think he’s eating traffic, but you, of course, go.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111777
 07.04.2015
A Japanese has created a silicone toy Mugen Puchipuchi, imitating the feeling of film bubbles.
Farewell to free time.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111776
 07.04.2015
Here everyone is talking about what real life... stunned, not found! Someone give a reference!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111775
 07.04.2015
Joker: I am out of the interrogation
In the interview.
Just like at the prosecutor’s office.
Questions of Goods
Discrepancies with the summary

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111774
 07.04.2015
On the exchange website:

I offer: electric car in the form of a motorcycle * photo*
The reason for the exchange: the son is 2 pieces, and the electric car is one piece, so it is easier to give than to listen to them every time they disassemble and divide. For the same reason, there was very little operation. My nerves are more expensive.
Interested: 2 self-driving or equivalent offer

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №111773
 07.04.2015
From "Responses to Mail Ro":

Please help who can!! What is the Arabic word for the death of the unbelievers? very urgent need.

Q: What is the urgency? Are the Chiefs surrounded?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111772
 07.04.2015
You have two higher education. What else is "Blessedness - can not work"?!..

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №111771
 07.04.2015
1: The pattern did not break, but the sense of justice began to rub into the seams:
Yesterday I tried to park near the office of the office where I came. There are no places and are not foreseeable. Which seemed to get into the courtyards (already quite far from the place) and found the perfect place near the gates, which, judging by the fact that they grew in the ice, did not open all winter. Standing up in front of them, I go out and hold my nose to the ad "parking at the gate is allowed only to bright representatives of sexual minorities". As a result, I was like parking a car elsewhere, spending five minutes on the exercise exactly (going out the same amount). And here completely quietly at the gate is parked WV JUKE and from it, throwing a superstitious look at the tablet, came out the body of a male in a pink shirt, wrist gloves (on top of some dress, what), loins and with a bag. Give up!
Didn't you think he left this place specifically for himself?
Here is the Pidor!
2 to the point.

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