The zoological paradox: about the bars on the neck, the jaguar in the garage and the tiger in the bed mostly dream of goats with chicken brains and the character of the suckle.

The story of Vladislav III from the interview:
The present generation has all the opportunities to see the world. The Soviet regime was much tougher. It was believed that during the world championship you should only train, and in your free time to sit in the room and adjust for upcoming matches. In other words, why did they take you to the world championship? There was no talk about going to the store. First, all dependent daily in the currency was issued on the last day of the tournament, when time to run and buy some imported equipment was left in circumcision. And in the course of the championship Tarasov, seeing that the hockey players went to some point of sale, could "under the mood" and send home. With me here in Sweden, this story hardly happened.
In 1969, CSKA came to the collection in the city of Mora. I am a green 17-year-old boy, just got into the team. And next to the ice arena was a sports clothing store. Everything is so beautiful, so overseas. My eyes looked at the window. One evening, I and Tolstoy went to breathe the air. He says, “Let’s go in. There’s no money, so we’ll see.” I was frightened to answer, “Will Tarasov suddenly see?” “He’s been sleeping a long time.” We entered, enviously watching the stand with hockey equipment. And as soon as five minutes later Anatoly Vladimirovich appears in the door!
I was terrified at the time: I think it was the end of my career at CSKA. Swinging into the corner, he tried to hide behind the mannequin, which was three times thinner. Fortunately, Tarantino was in a good mood. In the store, we had already found Viculov and Polipanov. The older players were given Swedish crowns. The coach approaches the guys with a smile and says, “Are you appreciating?” The sports costumes are hanging. In them, your crosses and loads will be borne with great pleasure. One problem, very expensive. Two hundred crowns.”
Tarasov only asked Vikulov and Polupanov: "Will you take for a hundred? I will agree in a moment.” Calls the owner of the store, makes an important face and fingers in the chest: "I am Tarasov." And that fan turned out to be, the enthusiasm began, bowling in the belt, jumping around. “Sir, you have any discounts.” I bought Anatoly Vladimirovich costumes and only then noticed me. By that time, I recovered from fear and ate the goalkeeper’s mask with my eyes. Comfortable with a bar. At that time, we had helmets close to the face. Playing in them, constantly suffered from cracks, bruises, the need to apply seams. Tarasov approaches and asks, “Do you like it, young man?” “I like something, but no money.” “We take it for free.” Calls the owner and explains, “This is the future superstar. He will be the best goalkeeper on the planet.”
The most funny thing is in pure Russian. But the seller still understood that we would not give him Swedish crowns (smiles). I packed everything, gave a gift. Tarasov also entered the rage so that, leaving the store, a foldable chair grabbed that stood at the door. It says, “Fishing is the most important thing.”

At the place of sale a sign:
1 strawberry - 13 hryvnia
3 strawberries - 40 hryvnia
The buyer:
Give me one strawberries.
Pay 13 hryvnia, take the strawberries. This is repeated twice again.
The buyer:
"I bought three watermelons from you for 39 hryvnia, although it is written that you sell them for 40. How stupid you are!
The Merchant:
- And so all the time... They take three watermelons and teach me how to trade properly!

During the crisis, the saddest stories are credit.

Taxi

Every year on the 9th of May, my son and I walk around the city in the morning and give a nail to all the veterans we met.
This year, my girlfriend Masha came with her five-year-old daughter.
His grandfather passed through the war and was a knight of three orders of glory. He died at home from wounds in 46. His grave thousands of kilometers from Moscow, in the distant Kazakhstan, here is Masha and wanted to pass on to his grandfather a flower and a good word, through still alive.

My son and I bought a clot of cloves in the morning, we waited, we waited, but Masha never appeared. Suddenly, she called, soon apologized, said that she could not talk after driving, and then called again.
No, no is not so. He did without her, even though he was a little offended.
Late in the evening, Masha called again and told this story:

"For six months, our home phone has broken out of the chain.
Every day, five times a day, I get caught up with some drunk urds and try to call a taxi. My number is one zero different from their controller’s phone.
What I just did not do, and I complained and hamla, even all the rhythms to the word "taxi" studied... As soon as I take the telephone and hear - Ale, a taxi?
I immediately get a response like this:
“Bite a bite, go away from the army of the Kosi, the broken chassis, and even the Khanty-Mansi...
And here today, my daughter and I gathered together to meet you, we are already at the door, suddenly a bell, a phone, and from there a male voice:
And a taxi? Happy Victory Day to you.
I just wanted to say - "drip off", but I didn't have time - this "Victory Day" confused me. The voice continued:
Do you have any discounts for war veterans today, May 9th? I am not far away, but I must...
As I hit my head, I shouted:
No worries, there are discounts! Wait at the entrance, the grey Mazda car will be with you in fifteen minutes. A girl driving.
I come to Kuzminki, two aunts (apparently neighbors) take out a veteran with a cradle from the entrance. The old man, his mouth opened, breathed hard, medals bowed to the ground and smelled like it smells of all our grandparents. It smells of comfort, old books, feathers, children’s soap and walking clocks.
We go to Sokolniki. They talked. Pavel Ivanovich said that there, near the fountain on the bench, he is waiting for an old friend Vadim, they have fought on the same front and each year have met for fifty years.
We also talked about the discount and I confirmed that, yes, the controller did not cheat - the discount will be, do not worry...
Parked and Grandpa stumbled, not knowing how to be, first to expose the coffin from the car, or the leg to lean?
My grandfather didn’t come out of the house very often.
I asked to carry him. He was afraid that it would affect the price, but he did not refuse help.
We came to the fountain, passers smiled, gave flowers, photographed with us children, and a friend of Vadim, something is not visible...
Pavel Ivanich worried, went down on the bench and began to name him.
Everything is irresponsible. No one took the telephone.
Then he began to dig into his pockets, pulled out an old woman’s wallet and asked:
Madonna, how much do I owe you? You go, and I will sit, I will call, I will wait.
I say :
Don’t worry, take the money, can I take you home?

And the grandfather suddenly cried, as if he was coughing:
I knew so. Wadiq did not live until May 9. not survived. He does not take the phone.
What am I now...?

Passers approached the crying parade veteran, increased his multi-haired bouquet, congratulated, smiled and went on. It seemed to everyone that the old man disturbed his attention and military songs.
I walked up with him and started raising my grandfather from the bench:
Get up and go to Vadim. Where he lives?
The road was not close, a friend lived, up to Golitsino, but I didn't care, though in Vladivostok.
We came, wandered for a long time, found a house, I somehow dragged my grandfather to the second floor. I called into the apartment and nobody opened it. Neighbors came out and said they hadn’t seen him for a long time. Pavel Ivanovich began to suffocate and I took him out on the street, into the air. They went down for one flight, suddenly the lock clicked from above and a loud voice was heard:
Pasha, where are you going? I hear the phone calls as he got up from bed until he arrived. It didn’t go faster, the back was shaken. Sorry, I didn't go to the fountain, I couldn't, and the phone hit somewhere. It calls, but where does it call?
Pavel Ivanovich, became even more suffocating and spoke swallowing words:
- You what, I was waiting in the Sokolniki, I called, I thought that all... a fool - you are a fool!
They climbed into the apartment, while I found Vadim’s uncharged cell phone in a tank with dirty linen, they drank a slice of vodka and my grandfather asked a friend for money for the way back.
Here I admitted that I would not take a taxi driver or a penny from them.
When it was already dark, she took the old man back to his Kuzminki, though not for free, the nails still had to take...

A sister came to visit with two children 2 and 5 years old...The cat suddenly appeared dead!!! to

I am a real woman.
I had a dream, a nightmare.
It was as if thieves had entered my house.
Were they raped?! to
HGH is worse! They took all my tubes and handbags out of the bathroom!!! to

Hi little boy.
You have a baby in your pants. And I am Nastya.

From Rouen:

Motorcyclists have more privileges on the road. They are not surrounded by iron.
They are surrounded by many trees and land.

“If you at least once a day say thank you to your body for everything it does for us (with sincere gratitude and love), you can significantly increase the vital tone and even cure many diseases.
You can thank individual organs and even hair, nails and teeth.”

Y: And if the breasts thank you, will they grow? I really need it! ? ?

xxx: Web 1.0 – content is generated by the creators of the site.
xxx: Web 2.0 – content is generated by the users of the site.
If you follow this logic:
xxx: Web 3.0 – content generates itself.
zzz: Web 4.0 – content generates users.
yyy: WebZen – the content is not visible, but it exists.

Habr

I am fat (
What criteria do you use to determine that you are fat?
She: I don’t get into my old closet.
Buy a larger closet!

11:39:59: X: fucking, these idiots are discussing who is cooler, Liu Kang or Sabiro
11:40:57: Y: sab ziro, of course
11:41:03: Y: really idiots %)
11:41:20: X: =)))

Why do you call me "Andrei", and not "Adjusic"?))
ууу: Because you are constantly someone sitting, you do not want to clean pop-up messages for some unknown reason, and I don't want to look like such a surprising girl)))
I have removed the pop-up windows.
My favourite princess
See also: Zayndr!
I love, I love, I love my midwife
HHH: And I too! And I too! I love my catchy.
I kiss you, sunshine
ууу: Now you can boldly write plans for terrorist actions or overthrow the current government, all agents have gone to blame))))

@Zverenka My mom has a wonderful taste of meat!!!! // write us users of the culinary community on Одноклассники

Message in the chat:
Can anyone borrow a cat? Remove a broken egg.

I told you about my pretext: as soon as I complain about something, the problem solves itself. So here. Remember, I complained that I hadn’t seen my breasts for three years. all, the problem solved - their own, fucking, grew up

I sat with a friend in the park, passed by two boys for 7 years. One of them says, “Let’s go, girls, we’re going to take the chopsticks? Don’t go so old fashioned.

Review of the male cardigan on one of the sites:

Client of Igor:

Cardigan is good. What a long! I wear it like a dress :)

XHH: And throw it away, our will decide to remove their "Game of Thrones"
Blackjack and the prostitutes?
XHH: With the Handless
Tag: and dog
The epicity will be until the cramps X_X