bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156323
 22.05.2021
It is difficult to find a governor for an officer if he sits in the administration.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №156322
 22.05.2021
How to Communicate with Reeltors

I sell my own apartment. the first time. Advertising on popular websites. Calls from the routers are constant. I began to meet these brothers and sisters. They have one step - let's sign a contract for 3% of the value of the apartment (I have 100 thousand).

My question is, what are you going to do? Responsibility of the parties? Failure to fulfill obligations? They are serious about promoting on 60 sites, a federal customer base, successful deals, etc. And here I now (to try not to rust) listen to them carefully, clarify the details (this is important in the future, see below). And I declare, not hurry so, thoroughly - and I am ready to sign everything! My interlocutors are changing in the face (like a horse).

"But my small condition - if you sell an apartment, you get your commission of 100 thousand, and if in the course of 1 month there is no, then you have 30 thousand."

And here the circus begins - we don't work like that, we don't have such a contract, and you are a scammer. And here I already speak to them all their arguments (see above) about federal bases and successful experience.

I tell them, B$&T, their own words! No one agreed!!! to
Run all this x@eta down the stairs to jump!

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156321
 22.05.2021
"The Soviet authorities were a disgusting lie," Anatoly Chubais told the Kommersant in an interview, whose entire activity in Rosnano was a disgusting lie.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156320
 21.05.2021
xxx: three ways to money in Russia: webcams, bookmarks and aiti

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №156319
 21.05.2021
Xxx: I went to the hospital for business, went to the smoking room, and there is a jaw-face surgery nearby, and patients with very wild injuries walk with a catheter in their nose. There they can't, well, and pull through the tube with the nose of the juice there, broths. I glanced at this one, and the man standing next to me pushed me with his elbow and said, "You know how we call them? The Colibri!”

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156318
 21.05.2021
Once the court writer, drawing up from the words of the emperor the next decree on the production of the next rank of officers, when writing the first two words of the phrase "Papers are [such] - in subordinates" was wrong - wrote "Papers Kiz", as a result of which in the text of the decree before the real names was entered the never-existing Papers Kiz. When the decree was submitted for signature, the emperor, for some reason, decided to identify the first of the newly produced lieutenants and his own-handedly signed the decree "Lieutenant Kirch as a lieutenant." Lieutenant Kiz, apparently, remembered the emperor, in any case, after a few days the emperor made him head of staff. Similarly, Kiyzh grew very quickly in rank and was soon made a colonel, and on this, the last order of production in rank, the emperor wrote: "Come to me now." Going to search for the colonel, the military leadership did not find him. Only after studying all the production documents, it was possible to get to the very first order containing an error and understand what it was. However, no one dared to inform the Emperor of the true state of affairs. Instead, the subordinates that Colonel Kiz suddenly died, so he could not arrive at the audition. The emperor breathed and said, “Sadly, he was a good officer.”

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156317
 21.05.2021
Every power is a servant chosen by the master, the people. And nothing surprising: like every unclean maid, while the master is asleep, she shakes her master’s pockets, and hammeres all the most delicious.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №156316
 21.05.2021
"The insidious virus causes severe consequences" (from the newspapers).
A friend was diagnosed with covid. Well, he responsibly isolated himself for three weeks to the village, eating ibuprofen, ginger and garlic. For a couple of days I did not smell, coughed a little longer, healed. Peace and fresh air.
His wife did not let him go home. with a certificate of recovery. She said, “You and I lived very badly. Without you, it is very good to live.“”
There is no question about Khalifa - a friend of the neighbors questioned.
In such love. Two adult daughters, a 12-year-old granddaughter.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №156315
 21.05.2021
If to be historically accurate, then in the subject “Basics of Orthodoxy” should teach Judaism.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №156314
 20.05.2021
Artists, dogs and prostitutes should not be touched. They are needed at any power, until they have passed into the Duma."

A. Kolchak

[ + 39 - ] [13 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156313
 20.05.2021
XXX: A long-distance driver came to unload us. He spoke Russian poorly, but understandably. While the car was unloaded, he walked to the nearest store. He comes, scratching the tail.
Do you think the potatoes don’t grow?
I: It is growing.
Q: What about the cabbage?
I: It is growing.
PS: (I thought) - Why is it so expensive, we only have the car?

YYY: What to think about? He purchased plastic casting at a Moscow factory, then ran into bargains, which sold casting in similar forms in the Czech Republic. It turned out that the Poles bought from the Czechs, our - from the Poles, I - from our own. And with such a chain of intermediaries, one hren was cheaper than at a local factory. To my surprise, the director of our factory said:

I had to come, I had to give money.
They came from SES and had to give money.
............
............
............
A firefighter arrived and had to give money.

All this is in the cost. In the same cucumbers, production costs are much lower than corrupt ones. Remove the bad stuff and ALL, absolutely everything will cost times cheaper.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №156312
 20.05.2021
Everyone has sex. The broadest range of positive emotions. The child was stabbed in the head, pedophile. The other one is gay. Cat scratching behind the ear is scary.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156311
 19.05.2021
xxx: The daughter was somehow confused by the dilemma about the Chinese and the train (there is a train in it 💯 Chinese, and some hernia with the rails - it's about to crash. But next to you is a Chinese, and if you push him under the train, the crash will not happen. Your actions?

She replied – I’d better myself under 🚆 I’t be able to kill a person.

Here I was confused.



Chinese on the train? Then you can somehow get this one to the others on the train and in the crash! Sorry, I just worked with Chinese tourists.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №156310
 19.05.2021
xxx: Fuck, and I don't like anyone to see if I'm crying - because I'm turning into some kind of fucking shit, objectively. With a swollen face and algae eyes, like a Chinese bitten by bees.



YYY: Everything is subjective. For yourself, you are a "dirty shit", and for someone, a "sweet, swollen face with mysterious eyes"



and ZZZ:

@ by

She stores a photo with a blurred face

@ by

You: No, this is a murder.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №156309
 19.05.2021
Pops are a gathering of offenders. Being none in the distribution system, they are for your blood today, promising warm places in Heaven, but then.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156308
 19.05.2021
There are things that can only happen in Israel.
Dialogue at the central car station between mother and son. She probably carried him. My son is a soldier in shape. It seems to serve no more than half a year. The conversation was in Hebrew. I will try to translate.
Mother :
Did you put everything in your bag?
Yes to Mom.
Shoes and cowards?
Yes, Mom
Additional charge from the phone?
Yes Mom, I took it.
Where is the second "root" from the machine?
In the bag.
Why is it in the bag? Remove and attach to the machine. And hang the machine over your head, not as you wear it on your shoulder. This is the M-16, not the Uzi. and overwhelm. It would be more convenient to shoot...if anything.
Oh well mom.
Not “Numay” to me. Remove the "root" and overweave the machine as appropriate. "My mother cried out with the commander's voice, so that even, I "like" and stood up exactly. My mom knows how to do it right!!! to
And, I don’t doubt for a moment that this mom knows how right!!! to
Stas Volsky

[ + 49 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156307
 19.05.2021
Two motorists are in the cabin of the train, one looking out the window and says:
All you, I’ll go to work.
The Nafiga?? to
Look at them. No matter how we travel, they smoke all the time and do nothing more. The dream job.
Well, said to be done, he retired from work, went on a road trip. There he was given a cuvalda, and he mashed her. The hour, the second, the third, the fourth... At the fifth he says:
When will we smoke, when will we smoke?
When the train goes, we all smoke.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №156306
 19.05.2021
xxx: I recently noticed that there are so many strange sounds in modern music that sometimes you have to reduce the volume to see if everything is okay with the engine or the suspension and whether this noise is spread from there.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №156305
 19.05.2021
I was singing in the church. A bunch of people, all already with candles lit, we are waiting for Daddy.

He appears and looks at everyone. Then he looks up and asks, “Is there anyone there?” Silence in response.

Then I realized that he was looking for a woman who would sing while singing (there was a balcony), but in itself it was symbolic.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №156304
 18.05.2021
Dialogue at the central car station between mother and son. She probably carried him. My son is a soldier in shape. It seems to serve no more than half a year. The conversation was in Hebrew. I will try to translate.

Mother :

Did you put everything in your bag?

Yes to Mom.

Shoes and cowards?

Yes to Mom.

Additional charge from the phone?

Yes Mom, I took it.

Where is the second "root" from the machine?

In the bag.

Why is it in the bag? Remove and attach to the machine. And hang the machine over your head, not as you wear it on your shoulder. This is the M-16, not the Uzi. and overwhelm. It would be more convenient to shoot...if anything.

Oh well mom.

Not “Numay” to me. Remove the "root" and overweave the machine as appropriate. "My mother cried out with the commander's voice, so that even, I "like" and stood up exactly. My mom knows how – right!

And, I don’t doubt for a moment that this mom knows how right!

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