bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №29938
 13.05.2010
Swallow77
2010-05-11 10:01 am UTC
Russian sailors have released Somali pirates. However, in order to make them more like pirates, they shot everyone in the eye and cut off one leg.

[ + 59 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29937
 13.05.2010
she (05/12/10 09:31:53): my girlfriend bought yesterday a book - how to bring pleasure to a man. The book costs 500 rubles. I broke her. There is some shit there. And about American men. This does not happen to us.

She (05/12/10 09:32:16): I told her that she would buy meat for 500 rubles. would give more pleasure.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №29936
 13.05.2010
How do you treat role-playing games?
Guy: Fallout New Vegas is waiting for autumn, and that there is more Bioware c Obsidian coming up, and what?
Girl: That’s all about? What kind of revenge? A patient with a nurse, or a pilot with a stewardess, and that’s the hell! The pervert!

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №29935
 12.05.2010
A friend of mine lives in Peter. He tells us:
Q: Imagine I’m going on the shore, and I’m being cut down...Boyarsky!! to
I: What does Iey say?
Q: Well what: "To the side, chicken"!! to

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №29934
 12.05.2010
If a vampire bites a person, he becomes a vampire. What if someone bites a vampire?
Both will die.
XHH: Why is it?
A man will be poisoned with an unpleasant anded.
What will a vampire die from?
From laughter...

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №29933
 12.05.2010
The story, of course, is for a joke, but since it is a living fact...
President Medvedev on a visit to Argentina
I was in a car crash in Buenos Aires and was very surprised. He says:
"How many years I’ve been traveling in Moscow, I never got into traffic jams".

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №29932
 12.05.2010
I didn’t think I would write something like that.
But...
Please say so)
The guy who handed me a note through the waitress on the evening of May 11 in the cafe near the tsunami, and I didn't have time to answer.

Please help me to correct the mistake!!

Anti UG
Ask the child a mystery:
- It grows fat, it weakens, it cries on the whole house (response - harmonica).
A 5-year-old boy, without thinking about this, answers:
and Mom.
and c)

[ + 155 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29931
 12.05.2010
to this:
//Great glasses in half-face (to protect from the sun the delicate skin around the eyes as much as possible) // + 40 to glamour, + 25 to loneliness and protection from the guys, because it is terrible to approach such, will surely send.
x_x
-------------------------
And in my opinion, +500 to a dumb look, who else thinks so?

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №29930
 12.05.2010
Twin
Neighbors to the South are flying

the duck
South, if you break down the yoghurt
And with the southern accent, it’s yuh.
If they turn, there is a road.

Twin
Do you often do that shit?

[ + 71 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29929
 12.05.2010
CapsLockIV: I came from the army, in the uniform, I go to the store, in it. You are a young man and you are 18? O_O

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №29928
 12.05.2010
The TopicStarter:
I found on the Internet information about ASC (automotive catalyst synthesizer),as if a strong thing and fuel consumption reduces and power, etc.
Someone can say something from their own experience of using this nonsense.

The second:
I put myself one.
Everything that is written about her is true.
Priora has changed to unrecognizability:
Easy to speed up to 250 km/h.
- With light lighting easily tear BMW and other Porsche
- Fuel consumption dropped to 2.5 liters, started filling gasoline A-76
In this mode he has already travelled 500 thousand kilometers.
The body stopped roasting.
And most importantly, the small scratches began to lengthen themselves.

[ + 101 - ] Comment quote №29927
 12.05.2010
Instead of reminding pregnant women not to drink, I think it’s worth reminding alcoholic women not to fuck.

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №29926
 12.05.2010
May 9, for excess speed stops GIBDshnik.
-Comrade senior lieutenant, may in honor of the holiday warn, do not punish.
I can not. I have a plan. Twenty drivers will be sentenced. Then I will let go.
If you come to me, don’t be disappointed. I will also have a "plan".
And you are who?
I am a surgeon. The guarantee plan will be "by castration". I leave without eggs.
As you cut, so you cut! ( is smiling )
Do you pay back the fines?! to
He rushes to tears and lets go.
The great power of art.
P.S Actually, I am not a doctor.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №29925
 12.05.2010
Lena: he cries, tosses his legs, blows the grays and promises to take everyone off.

I don’t know how to give it up :((

Give it to the mentions.

Tagged: hm

What is the reason?

Put him in the beard of Anash.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №29924
 12.05.2010
The community of "virgins" in Lira:

Why does a guy put a finger or fingers in the mouth of a girl? What should I do with him?
YYY: So why does a guy squeeze a girl in the mouth?
Zzzz: I thought everybody knew!Prevention of angina.! to
xxx is true??? and shock
zzz: You are directly tempting me to tell you about the prevention of gemorous!!! to

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №29923
 12.05.2010
If there is a regular sexual life, then the onset of menstruation takes place in 2 stages:
1st of URA!! The Monthly!
Blue and Monthly.

[ + 82 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29922
 12.05.2010
Question: How to get the required work experience, if without this same work experience is not taken to work?

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №29921
 12.05.2010
I watched a parade on the red square on television. The child had a lot of questions. Dad answered them carefully. Then I came and the child began to share with me the information received: "War is when people kill each other, offend. I was not there when there was war and there was no Pasha. And there was no daddy, and there were no grandmothers." Then she thought for a couple of minutes and gave out: "The bad people came to offend us, they looked - and we were not. We are out"

[ + 71 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29920
 12.05.2010
I wonder why in universities on September 1st, five-year-olds do not drag on the shoulder of the first-year-old?? to

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №29919
 12.05.2010
SerJeek: In 4 Billion Years, the Sun's Reserve of Hydrogen Fuel Will Decrease
SerJeek built a bunker
Alexei Mainect went to build the hyper engine
Ash12 went to sleep

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna