bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №146655
 21.11.2017
They wear swimsuits and swimsuits on the beach. You will be driven out of the coward.

Seriously what? If I put on simple single-tone nylon trousers and a swimsuit and come to the beach, you will not notice the difference even if you look carefully. This is the same if you take fast-drying fabrics.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №146654
 21.11.2017
I am standing in a sorting room at the TC, at the Pisssuara, I do business. The neighbor has a grandfather, too. Suddenly a powerful curtain is delivered from the cabin, the grandfather immediately gives out: "How embarrassing!"
From the cabin rust and voice: "Man, we are in the bathroom at all..."

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №146653
 21.11.2017
Don’t go now

> One after another,

In principle, it is clear that it is a mistake.
But it is the Great World Then that will destroy the world!

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №146652
 21.11.2017
It is not necessary to live well, it is enough to think so.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №146651
 21.11.2017
In 2000, when I became a military retired, I decided to do business. Started with real estate. There were no special difficulties. But it was crazyly interesting – I went to work, really, like a holiday, everything was easy, the soul rejoiced at the consciousness of what I was...., well you understood. In parallel, he was involved in politics, several years was an assistant deputy of the State. Dumas, solving virtually any issues, was always surrounded by people, grateful and those who still had to disrupt me for a favor or money, and become in the order of "thankful". His first business anniversary, 10 years, was celebrated with a pump. I invited all my comrades, and there were a lot of them, and there were five among them, whom I considered to be close. Of these five, two were in the king's service. One director of the city building, the second deputy. the mayor (I write not for the ponts, but to understand the situation at the end of the story), the other three are entrepreneurs, and not very small. Communication with us was at the level of "I everywhere": they are not interested in fishing without me, in the sauna only with me, about Birthdays, washing shopping, sitting in the coffee shop - I am generally silent. And quite a cool relationship with the "best friend" Igor - every Friday in the countryside he cut a lamb, called 3-4 neighbors, cooked hollow, roasted strawberries. And he must have called, and every time he stressed that he would not touch the food if I didn’t come. Of course, I appreciated that attitude and thought I was lucky with my friends.
In 2011, a new phase of my life began, and I was deceived and hijacked. The nuances here are not appropriate, an important outcome is a criminal case, subscription for non-exit, arrest of accounts, suspension of enterprises. And the most outrageous thing is that in the first days was removed from office. The Dep. The Gd. The investigation lasted eight months. Waiting for time to end is another thing. But in any case, the honest name was returned, apologies were brought. All this time, employees were not paid a salary, the debt for renting premises was astronomical, customers were stretched by competitors. In the summer of 2012, I was jealous of the poor, because he was just a poor man, nothing owed to anyone, and I was a poor man with a lot of debt. My family was saved at the time. The son, 16, did not go to the 10th class to study, but went to work as a waitress, his wife sold chats, I spent a month digging worms in rubbish and garbage holes and handing them over to fishing stores, there were thousands and fifteen out of them. But it was clear that we would not last long. Then I went to “Friends.” No, I didn’t ask for money, I asked for one thing – to take it to my company as a driver, or as a guard, a guard, a carrier, by the way, just to last a few months until I recover from depression. How the conversations with them ended: the director of the factory reoriented me the next day and disappeared, at all, did not respond to my calls and did not call; Igor replied: "Well, you understand... » I said, I understand, and I left. In short, no one, no one helped.
But I got out, slowly, taking a lot of risk, especially when they sold the apartment, and then the house, so there was something to turn around. Now I am not only well, but even better than I was. In 2016, they bought an apartment, and in February of this year bought back a country house, though, overpaid 20 percent, but already very much wanted it. To his wife bought a car, his son continued his studies, every year he rests at sea in the Zagorje.
A month ago, he sent a SMS to fifteen people (“friends”) with an invitation to his DR (Jubileum). Four have come. Coupleed in the bath, sat down at the table, poured. The first toast from me: "Today I have a birthday, but I have prepared gifts for you (delivered to everyone on an expensive set - everything for a shave, column). Dear friends! I have invited you as a sign of special gratitude to you for the fact that thanks to you I have everything you see: home, firm, etc. Thank you for refusing my help and participation in difficult times, for being the most genuine gangsters, because if someone took me to you as a carrier or a carrier, I might not have become so stressed, and I would have territory on someone's enterprise so far. Let's drink friends for it, no matter how difficult, no one has ever come to help you, because only in the big ass, a person reveals all the hidden reserves and possibilities.
The covered table remained almost untouched, somehow everyone formed affairs and within an hour the guests departed. Maybe they didn’t like something, I don’t know, but my toast was very and very sincere, really.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №146650
 21.11.2017
In Moscow City, Rosgvardians who guarded the criminal authority shot police officers who guarded the restaurant of another criminal authority. The gunmen escaped in a Maybach car. One of the officers lost a gun.
This is all you need to know about the police reform.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №146649
 21.11.2017
And suddenly you are a lonely fat girl with eight cats without a personal sex life.

Do you have a public sex life? A universal assexual? Homosexual people? Collective and Emotional?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №146648
 21.11.2017
Personally, I have not seen any untouched windows on the first floors.

What if I look from the side?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №146647
 21.11.2017
I’m 99% sure that the author is a fat troll, but one question arose, since I haven’t lived in Russia for 10 years. Is it true that in the presence of your children you can not walk in cowards?

No, thank God, nudists have not yet come to power. You can safely wear trousers at home and even in the pool/on the beach.

[ + 17 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №146646
 21.11.2017
You take a child in the bus on your hands - "no obligation to give in, buy a car and drive!"
You drive in a wheelchair - "where in the bus stopped, buy a car and drive!"
You drive a car with the sign - "I didn't sleep out - drive on the OT".

You would have decided, gentlemen, or admitted that by default any mother with a child is annoying to you.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №146645
 21.11.2017
and survival
>>Those who do not eat the Battle Charter will die very soon, the normal will go through the whole war.
– is
Those who do not bite will die from a shock wave, those who bite - from penetrating and infused radiation.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №146644
 21.11.2017
From Gipsylilya:

I get into the car, half of the car travels with animals. I am glad I haven’t seen any animals.
And then the fucking snickers started eating me. I open the package - and immediately the car shakes, the whole floor in saliva, around the eyes, eyes, eyes.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №146643
 21.11.2017
I found a mouse in bed.
Artificial, but still pleasant.
He loves and cares.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №146642
 21.11.2017
A provocative article about the leadership in the market with the participation of the sworn brands Samsung Apple and Xiaomi:
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XHH: It really feels like it was fun here.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №146641
 21.11.2017
The camaraderie reached the windows and other cowards. If anyone recognizes him, call the brigade.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №146640
 21.11.2017
Livehack :
Climb on a tree following the cat.
stuck there.
Now the Ministry of Emergencies is obliged to come to the polybag, because the homosap already protected by law has come down and can not go down.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №146639
 21.11.2017
“You don’t know what Russia is. This is the icy desert, where a man with a tail walks,” the ideologist of the state says. In response, Merezhkovsky said, “Have you not turned it into this icy desert?”

Why is it all around?

Funny it is, yes

YYY: But, the greatest minds of Russia are not those who discuss what all the Russians are, but those who, despite this, invent the table of Mendeleev and the dog of Pavlov. I want to be like them.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №146638
 21.11.2017
You can fuck, the friend is now walking and staring into other people's windows.

I explain: dads walk in cowards, because without cowards they will be naked.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №146637
 21.11.2017
xxx is the same Rosgard who should protect us for our taxes?
YYY is no. This is the same Rosgard, which for our taxes must protect them from us.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №146636
 21.11.2017
We sit with all the IT department at the round table at lunch, discussing the new system of funding of units:
Started by:
“Well, what do we think, think, there are two people out of Finland among us. of education!
Pause
Who is? Where is?
The eyes were running!
There is a financier among us. The music is t-dam-ta-daaaaaam!* is
The city falls asleep, the financiers wake up.
The financiers are distributing the budget... The city is waking up... The IT department is not waking up! He has no budget now.

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