bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 91 - ] Comment quote №29718
 08.05.2010

P is I once studied at the institute, had a postponement from the army. Then I left and got the order to come to the military. I came, I was recorded as appearing, I asked to go to the toilet and went home. After several years, the agenda did not come at all.
— — — —
They thought you were still inside the military building.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №29717
 08.05.2010
The news portal:
Pirates who captured a Russian tanker were released to the open sea in a boat without navigation.

Comrades, we need to rebuild!

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №29716
 08.05.2010
I stayed with my family in Kiev: I am the husband, daughter and dog of Deja.
I moved to a new apartment and decided to take the dog out for a walk. In the euphoria of a new place took to escape.
I am looking for it "Deja "Deja"
And I have a crazy aunt with a bum on my head.
Well, I’m going to do it" Deia Deia"
A man approaches me with a blind eye and, hugging me, says
"Calm down, you are in Kiev"

[ + 125 - ] Comment quote №29715
 08.05.2010
Now (the spring) I live in a shale, eat a shale of urticaria, with garlic, which also grows, I make tea from rice leaves.
There is money for bread and salt. There will still be earnings, by autumn I will build a winter cage, bring rabbits for meat, chickens, gather, cut, dry apples.
Life is beautiful.
– – – – –
Man, well you’re good, I can’t do everything at home, and you’ve spent a lot of time in the game!! to

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №29714
 08.05.2010
Filed to: "Iron Man 2" The main character throws into the garbage basket a large plastic box full of hasty and juicy strawberries - in the hall a loud female breath of despair, comparable only to the reaction to interrupted sexual intercourse.! to

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №29713
 07.05.2010
An English woman went to the bath when she remembered that she had forgotten to pull out a cake from the oven. Nagaia, she went down to the kitchen and pulled him out and heard a noise at the door. Thinking it was a bakery and knowing that he would leave the bread on the table in the kitchen if she didn’t open it to him, she hid in the kitchen toolbox. After a few moments the door opened and she, to her eternal shame, heard steps towards the closet. It was a gas maker who came to check the meter. “Oh,” said the woman, “and I was waiting for the bakery.” The gas driver murmured, apologized and left.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №29712
 07.05.2010
From my memories of school:
I tried to teach German with a physical education teacher.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №29711
 07.05.2010
Dante: We were burned up at the surgeon’s office today. After the last planned operation, the day-to-day anesthesiologist spent the rest of the day with the proud Painkiller inscription on the coat. He is still looking for a black marker. I don't know what revenge he invented there, but his smile and unhealthy glow in his eyes do not predict anything good.

[ + 94 - ] Comment quote №29710
 07.05.2010
A crying writer. The accountant calls his daughter. A bookkeeper is a famous hysteric and panicker. So here. calls to:
Allow me! A whistle... a scream! by Vika! Do not be silent!! Oh yeah! Why are you so breathing? What happened? Are you crying?! What Happened to Wika!! Don’t be silent!! Aaaah! and AA! A! Oh, you were screaming...

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №29709
 07.05.2010
Kabasik: I feel more comfortable in a female society, because in a male society I have to drink vodka.

[ + 97 - ] Comment quote №29708
 07.05.2010
In the evening, my husband is allegric in front of the computer, I am already in bed. My husband sneezes, turns to me.
Husband: You are what? Are you blooming?
I: Yes, for a couple of days all this flower, and so much...
I have already tested you.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №29707
 07.05.2010
XXX is
As the cleaner in the coffee shop, where I work, said - fucking to fucking to change - time to waste.

XXX is
She is a grandmother.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29706
 07.05.2010
Today, cats are smarter than each other. How did they get me...

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №29705
 07.05.2010
"It is good that they did not take the capture at night," Medvedev said, "or black pirates are not visible in the dark."

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29704
 07.05.2010
How long have I been... and there are no canisters... (c)!!!! to

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №29703
 07.05.2010
zeos: I girlfriend recently started bringing food to the computer, even when I am not=) it is so nice to come home and see delicious food at work=)=)=
Do you know why fish are fed at the beginning of the season?

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №29702
 07.05.2010
at mistier: in a quiet vegetable - worms lead...

[ + 70 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29701
 07.05.2010
Shockstar: A gray bag and notepad named after Marinova Kirilla is lost.
Acid_man: Wherever on the forum Kirill's Marina is crawling, I'd like to pair you together.

[ + 105 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29700
 07.05.2010
xxx: I read on one website the biography of the geneticist Lysenko.
xxx: he is known for deriving the theory that the genetic code changes over the course of a human life.
He argued that if a cow's horns were to be carved for a long time, sooner or later they would cease to grow in her calves.
xxx: Killed Professor Vavilov’s response to this theory. At one of the conferences, he asked why then girls are still born virgins.
Tagged: XDDDD

[ + 73 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29699
 07.05.2010
Chelyabinsk is harsh, you say? In the Central Park of Kaliningrad, the inscriptions hang under the scratches: "Only for snowmen!"
So I see the squirts flying, hanging in the air and flying away, overwhelming housing policy.

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