bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80645
 23.04.2013
** Missed evening call to Admin from Marina**
The morning SMS:

admin
Hi to you! At night, the call is automatically turned off on my phone.

Marina is
I was asked to pay 1000r.

admin
The pipet. I sympathize. Does it make sense to buy a new one?

Marina is
What new

admin
Nothing, everything is old. How by herself?

Marina is
I did not argue with the guy.

admin
Don’t worry, everything will be fine!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №80644
 23.04.2013
News on the website of the Rock-Thematics store:
A wallet was found in the store. We ask you to come and take it, or we will drink it all!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №80643
 23.04.2013
Interview with a dean of a technical university:
Deputy Dean: I can’t talk to the student xxx.
Assistant Dean: Why?
Deputy Dean: he says he did not have time to close the session, because
He helped one group to close debts, after which he stood up and left.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №80642
 23.04.2013
XXX: Who is better?
Dalton or Dalton?
YYY: O_O

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80641
 23.04.2013
Q: How is the mood?
UUU: Yeah fuck...I’m going to the bar.The child says to his mom-mama, look at Ozzy Osbourne!And he ticks his finger at me. It is to rejoice that the child knows who he is, or to cry that I am like him.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №80640
 23.04.2013
From a romantic conversation with my husband under the impression of the series about the eastern labyrinth:

XX: You just don’t understand anything. I dance the oriental dance, and you, my sultan, throw me a purple t-shirt. We will have an unforgettable night.
UUU: Dear, it’s all really cool, of course, but there’s one BUT in your plan. I don’t have a violet coat.
But there is a socket.
So Dobby, you are free.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №80639
 23.04.2013
The most important thing in the house!! Everything else is shit!!! to
WOW: Did you not understand? This for what?
There are I and Thy! And everything in the house is easy to ruin with the help of a cottage!! to

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80638
 23.04.2013
Artem Albertovich: I am a devil and so on. And all why? I went to the gas station (in her car, I was driving). The hour of night. I stood in the box, filled with supplies – viscarmartinipivo. Here the hooker comes in. Take 0.3 and a cake. People look at him with interest. I take it, and lick it: is it so modest? He is: What? I: Oh yeah, you’ve just started the change. There was no penalty for the big dog and the walking dog...I didn’t think that this dog would be guarding the road from the park hotel in the morning. I take a beetle with me. Good morning and the words: Good morning! And the car with the hood-dog, I will not forget for a long time.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №80637
 23.04.2013
On our floor there is a computer company that occupies several offices.
Today I went out into the corridor, and several men jumped out of these offices at the same time.
They began to scream and find out why the network fell.
Well, I went on.
Two hours later, she walked through the corridor again, and the sound of a loud drum was heard, right in four hands!
I did not raise it)

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №80636
 23.04.2013
I think I found you a couple.)
I am surprised
A man with a higher education and a positive attitude is urgently looking for an attractive, not inclined to completeness girl with material and housing problems to move to my territory for the purpose of living together, drinking coffee in the morning (tea, juice), collective television viewing, discussing foreign and domestic policy problems, joint financial and economic activities in accordance with existing legislation, self-defense in case of invasion of aliens or hostile suppositories, intimate fun (with mutual sympathy) and many other things that we will be able to come up with.
Tagged: ml

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №80635
 23.04.2013
What one man does, you call a crime; what many people do, you call a government.

Robert Shelley, “Exchange of Minds”

Leo Bonart

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №80634
 23.04.2013
lx> without a certain amount of precious metal to the goal will not be possible.
2> without gold
lx> that you, the crush, are not at all. I’m not talking about the despised metal in the wallet, but about the noble steel, namely the shale in the ass.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №80633
 23.04.2013
SMS with a girl:
I bought a nice jacket.
YYY: I just have to see.
XXX: The Blue
YYY: What did you get? I write without mistake.
The blue jacket!
XXX: But you, go on, too

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №80632
 23.04.2013
by Blacklabel:
It is right! Any labyrinth can be passed in this way, we considered it at the University of Mathematics (in the theory of graphs). Always touching the wall with one hand.

and funkyfaust:
And if there are walls inside that are not connected, you will eventually walk around the wall.

by Blacklabel:
We weren’t prepared for that.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80631
 23.04.2013
Dipod: I live with a country house, so a neighbor with a perforator can not physically disturb, because it will not be heard. But there is a fox, a thief, who every morning strikes an akacia under the window! Angry *

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №80630
 23.04.2013
C. Habr about the development of vibrating underwear "sex on the phone"
Note to the manager: if you put a female version backwards on the developer, the developer can be effectively stimulated!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №80629
 23.04.2013
Volta: and today I call one company for half a day, then it turned out that I call the index

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №80628
 23.04.2013
xxx: I will go back to Vietnam 29, then go to the country and then go to the hop-roots))))

YYY: In the 65s, Americans also thought the same thing.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №80627
 23.04.2013
A friend (27 years old) "meets" with a self-sufficient man (45+ years old) and complains to me that he comes to the finish too quickly.
Yesterday I slipped twice... and saluted. I was left hungry..."
Well, how could you stay here without saying: "We had to swallow..."
The 2nd day blows.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №80626
 23.04.2013
From the newsletter: "I remind you that I am still waiting for information from those who want to insure against the bite of a tick and your relatives."

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