The car is parked, I will call again.
O_O

Commentary on the group dedicated to parachute jumping

xxxh: I liked it still want, and my wife wept after a fracture of two ankles

<METEORITO> one of my acquaintances, when a laptop bought and calibrated access to the system, showed her naked chest instead of her face. So since then, the laptop recognizes it not in the face, but strictly in the nipples with good lighting, and this setting can not be changed, because it is deep in the bios.
<METEORITO> about bios - this is what I told a friend.

The only girl whom I forgive is my cat.

At the first course, during the practice in the library, they dealt with the maculature and stumbled upon a brochure without a cover and beginning, actually, a list of names and including. There was the name Pedorast - advanced achievements delight Stalin. At the age of 10 I dream to find out if a child is actually named like that.

From the guide to the car VAZ 2106:

It should be borne in mind that cars VAZ 2106 even one model and released at the automotive plant almost simultaneously, have pronounced individual characteristics of behavior on the road.

That is, the developer officially admits that he is not able to make two identical cars (I emphasize - expressed features).

Torrent commentary on a movie:
A group of guys are drawn into a bar in downtown Los Angeles by their common ex-girlfriend.
Have you made a full movie about it?
It is cool!
The Germans are able to show 3-4 such stories in an hour and a half.

xxx: Miniature superchargeable batteries developed
xxx: With such batteries it is possible, for example, to transmit a radio signal at a distance 30 times greater than with conventional power sources or reduce the size of the battery by 30 times. In addition, the batteries can be charged 1,000 times faster than modern ones. It is impressive, isn’t it?

The iPhone 12. Our new fit is an electric shocker. Slogan "Try to choose"

xxx guys capec bought a T-shirt wife out of the house says in this T-shirt to me do not approach =)
With tanks?
XXX as I guessed.
YYY has the same problems.

Disputes about gender relations:
I’m not saying I’m not a pig.
You’re not a pig, you’re not an ordinary guy.
I’m not a wicked car, I’m not a wicked car :)

Cats are called whiskers.

Correspondence to ISQ:

She: and what? )))
He is: What?
She: Well what one? I am about today.
He is: What? o.o
“Are you stupid?” What did you do at the exam?
He is: *what li and exams
She: What are you talking about?! to
Tagged: epic fail

The cat, infected, knows and understands so many words that, speaking about it with someone at home, I begin to involuntarily look around - is he sitting next to me?

Conversation in the trolleybus
Are they still singing that song as they are called? He is a fool, she is a sixty.
Do you go down and down?! to

The Sunday. The morning. Call from work. Me and my girlfriend:
D: Who was calling?
I: A colleague at work says I need to work.
D: So let it work.
I: He can’t – he’s a manager.

Q: What did you do in the army? Where did he serve, how did he see it? Tell me!
WOW: Well, we grabbed the tranches there, built defensive shafts, conducted communications...
Q: Did you work in the building? Did you shoot from the machine?! to
WOW: Yes not. We just built the commander. I served in the army, gave the soldiers pills, it was boring. Here they are.)

The water in the toilet did not go away
The Uncle Arrives
xxx: said "give a sex cloth, pack a maiku and close the door";
Two minutes later, everything goes away.
XXX: What did they do? :DDD

In the morning after the injection:
XXX is oh! You are so careful: even the bed filled.
YYY: You won’t believe, I’ve been doing this in the army for a whole year.
XX: Yes, I was also in children’s camps.

Discussion of a picture where a guy is sucking himself

Masterstop: You know, I cannot communicate with such people in principle.
Masterstop: He is a double pedicure
Masterstop: First, he was sucked by a man
Masterstop: Second, he sucked out the man

xxx: I’ve been living in Cleveland for six months. I decided to walk around the city today. We get to the corner of one of the buildings, and there is something like a flashmob - all dressed in zombies, in blood naturally. They grumble, grumble something. As soon as they saw us, they began to whisper: "Oh nooo! and humans!And in horror to go whoever, complaining...