Do you remember telling me that my father promised to give me a car for the wedding?
YYYYYYYYYYYYY Give to?
xxx: gave
What a brand.
XXX is Mark? Bosch
XXX: The laundry
The car is good.

XXX: I have understood.
Angry Birds is a brutal satire that ridicules Muslim morals.
xxx what we have. Birds, with large eyebrows, lead a sacred war-jihad with unbelieving pigs.
Not only are there birds that undermine themselves and everything around them, but any bird that kills a pig goes to Heaven, which brings the player points.
It turns out that the goal of the game is to get all the birds to paradise and that all the unbelievers are exterminated.

In Africa, a school is considered an elite if children can soak the cloth in it.

How many mice do you give?
He: I can end up, I still have two.
Why do you have two hands?
I am O_O

You can’t imagine how lonely I’ll be after December 21...

References to Yandex Market:

Disadvantages: Functionality is lower than the box from under the router. After the router showed that over the course of a week itself ceases to work and neither reboot, nor firmware update, nor subtle adjustment fixes this, decided to put a empty box instead, in which the router itself was packed. It became more beautiful, performance did not deteriorate, but did not improve, i.e. I did not notice the differences in the operation of the box and the router, but the box does not require connection to the socket - saving electricity.

Recommendation: I recommend the purchase. You won’t buy such a box anywhere. When buying, the router is better to throw out immediately, and leave the box.

The news:
Russia refuses beef from the United States, where it is called a reaction to the adoption of the "Magnitsky Act"

From the comments:
All right, for refusing to accept Russian animals decided not to allow American animals

With age, the phrase "Dress back on the front" sounds somewhat ambiguous...

Why do girls in dorms wash cucumbers with soap?

xxx: In the era of my work at one juice factory, (it was a very long time ago), I liked that several brands of juice (different price categories) were produced virtually according to a single recipe, with minimal changes. But no one believed me when I said that I should buy the cheapest, that it is the same as the most expensive.

A familiar cyclist told how he unsuccessfully tried to run on the beachfront, where many dogs walk:

You run 300 meters and then you climb a tree. The owner says, “Don’t be afraid, she won’t bite you!”
I won’t bite you, I’m already on the tree.

Comes a neighbor (C) knocks on the door, I (I) open, then the following dialogue:

A: You wash every day!! to
I: Yes and what?
A: You wash every day, a pair everywhere!! to
I: What do you want?
C: You are washing your pair all the time! Why when you wash your pair is up?? to
I: According to the laws of physics!
C: You are not here for me!! You always have a pair up - the toilet is already running!

Ivan: Hey, I just paid for lunch 79000 rubles))) And in my wallet another one and a half million!!!))) I love Belarus 😉

xxx: options what to give Ole - a photocopy, a stick and a rubber penis, drawn under a hook
yyy: The rubber member is good
XX: Have you agreed?

" Ugly" in Japanese is "minique". It looks like a purely female spell.

At the crossroads, a tank and a catch collided... to make fun of both.

Q: Do you miss it?
I don’t have a fun job.)
You’re like a building company, what’s fun there?
ууу: for example, our welder, for the manufacture of a fence, yesterday issued from the warehouse "iron sticks and stickers with fence")))

Under the window at two o’clock at night, teenagers walk the dog and entertain themselves by entering all kinds of bugs into Google by voice search. One clever man says, “Awadah Kedavir,” Google doesn’t understand, the dog laughs, the puppy cries and repeats the request louder, then again they scream.
Avada KEDAVRA!! to
From the upper floor there is a scream:
Wizards are crazy!! Kill him with a stone and go home!! to

Sergey
Girls, never buy iPhones, because of them you will be considered TP-co-glamorous kisses

Maximum
I am glad I am a boy :D

Sergey
It is a shame for a boy to walk with a girl’s phones.

When OMON came to the multi-storey, the point, in any case, was crushed by everyone.