bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 127 - ] Comment quote №46672
 29.04.2011
This is the wedding of the English prince. Everywhere about it! One English woman marries another English woman. I’m kidding, you know, to the contrary!
If Putin and Medvedev plan to get married, then write.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №46671
 29.04.2011
XHH: What to do?and ;-)
Do the good...
Yes, it is boring (
Then the evil...
HGH: Not an option either
Fuck, make a shit.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №46670
 29.04.2011
Lovely (21:07) :
I really don’t like driving without equipment.

Michael Scofield (21:07) :
And that we have unsafe sex, does it mean nothing? and :)

Lovely (21:09) :
People are born from unsafe sex - the opposite effect.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №46669
 29.04.2011
I mean in electricity. A 25-year-old lady is sitting at the stop. Lovely such, a mini-coat, long sleeves, in general, everything with it. It begins to color: powder, shadows, etc.
At the very end of the mask gets painted half of the lips and.... at this moment someone pulls the stop-kran....

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №46668
 29.04.2011
Maria Chaukina (14:57:18 28/04/2011)
There is a mystery about what girls do all the time, but men do once in their lives.

AwakEmaN (14:57:35 28/04/2011)
It is stupid =)

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №46667
 29.04.2011
A girl told me the story:
Sitting at her house, Daddy and a friend, drank a little, well, and went to the store - to eat something to buy in the morning, and to drink more... they went with her favorite dog. It is clear that after an hour began to worry - they, too, with the dog disappeared. These two idiots came after two hours, but the main thing - what happened to them: came to the store, gave money to the bombs, go out - no phones at both, went to the police station - they wrote a statement, ran around the city in a bubble, found the bombs as a result (it must be noted that the dog was in the hands of the dad all this time), the bombs were forced to confess, but they naturally did not have phones. So, therefore, the whole essence of the story is that the phones quietly lay on the table at home.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №46666
 29.04.2011
xxx: on the screen.ru: "Female dogs were smarter than males"
This is the fuck.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №46665
 29.04.2011
You ruin my whole life.
She: Why is this?
Everyone is sure I have a girlfriend.
She: And I am here?
He: That is you!

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №46664
 29.04.2011
10:53: Previously beautiful girls were burned on fires
WOW (10:54): You know, working a year as a photographer, I can safely say that at one time the Inquisition was very overworked.

WOW (10:56): The smart campaign was also burned.

[ + 110 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №46663
 29.04.2011
The Six:
Natalya Y: If you want sex life bright,
Not crying in bed for boredom.
My advice is to marry on dojaras.
They have golden hands!
Alexandr M has golden breasts!
His hands are too rough.
You get married, guys, on the fleetists
Flute has golden lips.

Nikita Y: It’s all funny, friends, but by.
You would not bother being an adult.
You marry your loved ones.
My favorite gold weddings.
Ivanauskas: Not bad lines, right word -
Whatever women are, all stars are gold.
In fact, only a couple of divorces...
Buy uplifting clothes.

Roman W: How funny it is. Very much on the subject!
It was not invented long ago.
I will tell you how to solve the problem -
Save money and run yourself!
Andrey Z: Hands, feet, golden lips
This is a big dilemma for me too.
It is better to go to the surgeon.
No eggs – no sex – no problem.

Mihail M: Very radical, without a doubt!
They brought us into the impasse of poetry.
But there is also a solution:
No eggs left – put your ass!

[ + 76 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №46662
 29.04.2011
The second course. Department of Programming. Today we were summoned to the carpet of the dean because we broke a wall in the universe with a paper airplane... indeed the airplane was the size of a watt...

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №46661
 29.04.2011
The Chairman (17:34) :
You wanted to leave at 16:30.

by Elena (17:35) :
I want now

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №46660
 29.04.2011
Go to the logopedist, and then yours:"I love you" sounds: "Lala I’m a pitball"

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №46659
 29.04.2011
If you don’t have money, women are not afraid of you.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №46658
 29.04.2011
The docent Lvov, who taught us criminal law, could not tolerate moulding at the exams. The student, noticed in the write-off, without unnecessary conversations went to the door - without the right to get a "five" on the transfer. There were other harshnesses: so, mobile phones were removed and stored on the teaching table, and the docent himself exhausted the students by constantly walking in the ranks with the necessity of staring through the shoulder into our barracks. Oh yeah, he also loved to stop behind the back of a triangle and difficult to breathe for two or three minutes, acting on his nerves. In other words, soul.

The whole stream drank champagne, when in the spring of the second course of Lviv was replaced by a graduate student Masha - a blonde girl, round and pleasant even in those relationships, about which it is not customary to tell children. Unfortunately, the phenomenon of Masha was short - just a day before the June exam
Lviv announced that he would take the exam himself. You can imagine what a blow it was for the students who were completely relaxed at the time of the machine "flood". The entire course spent two sleepless nights and approached the exam in anabolic state.

That June on our course there were three pregnant students - one already in the long term, in the eighth month, and two - fresh, March fermentation. Docent Lviv did not know about these terms, and new pregnant women rushed to use this for the preferential passing of the exam. Strong air balloons were pushed and firmly fixed under the cofflets, and a voila - instead of one girl, ready to give birth, came out three at once.

Both men passed the exam in the first group.
Are you pregnant? What month? He asked the lion when he appeared.
The first girl’s stomach.
The ninth is Ivan Nikolaich. In a week to give birth, - suffering voice
announced by a student.
Okay, I’m not going to bother you – take any ticket.
Which you know.
The glowing student departed to prepare, and a second deceiver immediately grew up before the docent.
How is? Are you pregnant? What month?
The Ninth. Three days later, they say, I am born, a student was eating like this.
I was determined not to give birth, but to die immediately.
I doubted the lion. Let us be fair.
Take any ticket you know and get ready.

The first student eventually passed the exam for "five", but the second was less lucky - the balloon in the coffin began to blow up, and when she came out to answer, Lviv understood everything. He questioned him:
Have you already given birth halfway?
The student became red like a beetle, but still received a "troika", and was not expelled with shame.

And then came to take the exam a real swollen pregnant woman. The lion met her with a smile:
Are you pregnant? He-he-he... what month is it?
The eighth.
Is it not? Not the ninth? The lion was shaken by laughter. Here are we.
Let’s check now. Permit to!
And the assistant skillfully and quickly, before the student had time to think about something, struck her in the stomach with a stamp.

P.S Everyone remains alive. The mother and child were hardly injured. docent
Lviv personally ran for the plaster to the medical center. And the whole stream received overrated grades for the exam, which we were all delighted.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №46657
 29.04.2011
Russia is the only country in the world that after the end of the world on December 21
2012 will mark the end of the old world on January 3, 2013.

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №46656
 29.04.2011
The girls are clear. There is something in their brains that can’t be repaired.
We had an air show here.
While we were driving from one end of the city to another, we argued how we would be better to get to the airport... through the commercial zone, or on the track.
In general, my friend assured me that she says she knows the short road.. and generally through the peaceful (on the road) there are traffic jams.
We drove... not much of the fact that we drove on the dead road of extra 25 kilometers, so entered the traffic jams for an hour and a half, in the end, clinged to gaiters, which did not let anyone and proposed to walk 5 kilometers... the time spent on the way there was almost 3m hours.
Pushed up we went back.. a friend said to turn somewhere (I am not oriented in those places).. and.................. in 5 minutes we were in the city. To the question - which own shit we did not go immediately on this road was given an exhaustive answer.
Yes well. I didn’t want to drive on her.

The shit.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №46655
 29.04.2011
I am looking for work. I came across an announcement:
Animators and salary:
from 300 rubles.
I wonder, what if they don’t pay?

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №46654
 29.04.2011
Kirr90: This is the shredder (
HHH: What again?
kirr90: Yesterday a friend came, brought on the hard disk to the session. and dropped the movie, says "a very cool movie, be sure to watch"
Kirr90: Now I turn it on, I begin to watch - the main heroine is cute, the plot is interesting, everything is cool... and now - everyone dresses up and starts to fuck! :( is
Kirr90: I Fuck the Movie Wanted to See

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №46653
 29.04.2011
1: Shake, we approach Sanay to the transition, we wait for the green. There is already a crowd of people. Suddenly, in the middle of the crowd, a couple of Kiso spoke loudly:
Yesterday after yoga, I was a little masticated at home.
2: :))) ahaha
1: Ah, all of them looked at her like that. Her girlfriend so left her halfway into the side, like nothing to do with...
And that she was a thief, she was meditating... all the time, fucking, confusing...
2 : )))))
1: Wild rust and no one crossed the road so everyone fell here :))))

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