bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 95 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63733
 03.05.2012
I have lived in France for a long time. My daughter-in-law works as a cashier in a supermarket. I told a story recently.
Imagine the end of the working day, a sea of people. It happens before the holidays, the people are full. In the line in the box stands an elderly representative man with a cart filled with food. Behind him - a young mom of years slightly over 30 with a daughter of 5-6 years. A little girl from the nephig makes the foot pins the truck of a man ahead. He naturally makes a note to the little monster and moves the cart slightly to the side. This ugliness, not thinking for a long time, turns on a man. That is, it begins to pin it naked somewhere in the area of the Achilles tendon. The man turns to his mom. The dialogue:
- Madam, please explain to the child that I am uncomfortable and hurt.
My daughter is 5 years old and she does what she wants!! to
A man pays at the box office, goes away and checks something in his cart. At this time, Mommy pays off, also goes aside and checks the cash check. In a moment of eye, the man turns out and... pouches a bowl of liquid on his daughter’s head (!) The honey...
Mother’s cries would be jealous of the ship’s sirene... A man addressing her:
I am 64 years old and do what I want.
The row was not a patchwork, it didn’t slip and didn’t fold in half.
Again she silently applauded.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63732
 03.05.2012
The main organ is the ass. He takes part in everything - in treatment, teaching, upbringing, decision-making and searching for adventures.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №63731
 03.05.2012
And today I received a SMS from Megaphone: Dear subscriber, we inform you that today we have planned technical work on the network.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №63730
 03.05.2012
Why are you not sleeping?
[23:48:33] Serg: I will be already.. we are on the Dead Sea.. when I went here I read that type more accurately, said in the sea of salt 31% and need to get nothing in the eyes and in the mouth and with open wounds will be painful.. in the morning from the first time I entered it: slipped on the stones, immediately stumbled his mouth into the water, broke water and into the eyes of the dohuya got, broke his hand and foot about the stones..:)
[23:49:01] Serg: a full bouquet.. :)

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №63729
 03.05.2012
Through throwing things away, you create a situation where they will soon be needed. Has it been? Throw away the Gandhi! XD is

[ + 33 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63728
 03.05.2012
In Egypt, they say they want to legalize sex with dead women. Saying goodbye to his wife six hours after her death
YYY: Oh no, maybe it’s still cracking.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №63727
 03.05.2012
How do I look at my ex?

If from the point of view of logic – with the eyes, if from the point of view of conscience – it is guilty, if from the point of view of Hamlet, then to look or not to look.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №63726
 03.05.2012
>"So, just one miracle hit himself with a heels in the chest, that knows the game in which you have to regularly run fucking, otherwise the Persian dies from constipation..."
The ship, the man. Eat and sleep and take a shower. And all this against the backdrop of trying to kill you by someone from the surrounding outwardly cute people. A great toy.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №63725
 03.05.2012
Haber, discussing the next patent wars:

Return to:
I wonder who owns the human DNA patent?

by Putnik:
There was one guy. I promised to judge everybody.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №63724
 03.05.2012
<IndY>allow me to call you "My close friend"

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №63723
 03.05.2012
I want to see you in the office.
Give me a portrait :D

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №63722
 03.05.2012
Yes, you’re at work, so today’s a working day.
Sometimes I’m jealous of you, poor people.
But then I think – "because I have money!" and jealousy goes away by itself.

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63721
 03.05.2012
Dialogue in the pharmacy, d - girl, p - seller:
D: Advice, jealously, a means to combat the rich inner world.
P: Emily...
D from the worms.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63720
 03.05.2012
Conversation in ASCII:

Sister: How is it?? to
Sasha is not there, it is Matilda (cat)
Sister: You are the creature that passes by!????????????????? to

[ + 84 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63719
 03.05.2012
>>>Everyone can think of what we remember about respect for veterans only at the beginning.
>>> May of each year... It is so! But is it our fault? Did anyone of you in >>> childhood instill respect for people who went through the war? In the old age,

They vaccinated. And on every house where the veterans lived a red star was painted. There were 10 stars on some floors. The worst was the black strip.
Meetings with veterans were held. And the bossy behind them was fixed. I remember a blind man covered with tank burns. They came to him, sang, read the news, talked, questioned. When they left, he hugged and said thank you long and often. He had no grandchildren. There was no wife. He did not find anyone.
There was a legless pilot who made aircraft models. The whole house was covered by them. They were hundreds. Different sizes, colors and countries. He was most proud of the Order of Fame. The same with the Georgian tape. Because they are rewarded only by ordinary staff and sergeants. And he is from that issue when pilots were not given officer titles. Very rare among pilots. Every time I see people with these tapes, I remember him.

I remember the man who taught us to respect veterans – our pioneer leader. I was in the third class, he was in the eighth. During the attack, he was shot in both knees.
I am now 33

[ + 47 - ] [9 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63718
 03.05.2012
Ask the antibody the question: "two plus two multiply by zero?"
Now only schoolchildren write to me *facepalm*

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №63717
 02.05.2012
xxx: In the government would need to add a position - a Facebook spammer. Someone has to point them to reality.
In any profession, such a job is needed.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №63716
 02.05.2012
If there were a female army, would you wait for me?
I would go to her!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №63715
 02.05.2012
Help me, I will reduce you.
Yyy: I cannot be diminished, dignity can be diminished
xxx: I'm sorry I suspect there's somewhere here, but I have the feeling that you offered me to talk with a fuck

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №63714
 02.05.2012
XXX is
I remember my friends were roaring at me when I needed to call the sanitary.

XXX is
There was an association with German porn.
YYYY
No, porn with our sanitary equipment only for perversors

XXX is
Fuck me, fuck me!

YYYY
With what intonation do you say this?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna