When you look at how people polluted the earth, you begin to understand why they were actually expelled from heaven.

This funny incident happened at a company. The guard caught an employee who tried to bring a couple of bottles of alcohol into the enterprise (the colleague had a birthday). A planner was urgently organized, at which, in addition to the master of the guilty employee, all the masters of the enterprise were present. The first thing the director of the company said, beginning the breakdown:
Have you finished your drinking???! to

At the door of Rabinovich, a bitch wrote a word of three letters! Taky Rabinovich did not wash it... just attributed "Big" in front of him!
How the meaning has changed! How did the inscription play!! to

It is especially difficult to cross the road on Friday nights. You see with what speed they fly, regardless of the unregulated pedestrian crossing, or the red lighting, and it seems, either fooled on the road released, or all the outcasts are driving. Really scary.

As a child, I was roaring over the cartoon, where the goat must count all, otherwise the ship will sink.
I’m now a programmer and I’m not funny anymore.

Windows Update Burns: Offers me to upgrade to 10k with the wording: "Improved security from Windows 10: No one will know what you did last summer"
That’s why we add "...except us"

People can’t really be so stupid and stupid.

You won’t believe it! ?
And if seriously, the "normal" often do not have the time and desire to participate in dull internet messes, in addition, on non-profile resources.

How many trees are on the road from Munich to Nuremberg?
"And who counted them? Well, a lot of..."
It is wrong! There are as many as on the road from Nuremberg to Munich.

or
"How many turns in Germany"?
The subject thinks, and in vain. There are only two: the right and the left.

Interestingly, at the psychologist’s door in the transfer center hangs a poster: “Let hope, everyone who enters!”
To fail an idiot, you don’t have to be an idiot. For example, you enter the office and you are asked why you didn’t close the door. You’re turning around, and in vain—ah, you couldn’t even remember that.

And lastly: you read this, prepare, learn how to answer such questions, answer as you seem to be expecting, and get (t-dam!) In the list of the idiots who don’t have a place to drive ?

A few years ago, I was riding an electric car and at the station I was passing, I noticed a massive fight. Naturally, she called the police, named herself, a fight and deceived, hearing the proposal of the police, and you could not go out there and wait for the dress?

I live in Tyumen. We have high penalties for drivers. Very strictly 8 years already. So all the guests are surprised by our polite passing drivers.

From the comments under the story:
AAA: So he fucked her? Is there a continuation?
aaa: "Killed", there must be the word "killed"!

The cat still blows, already on me, the question of how to deal with the cat?

Yes, you love more, save the self-love of the cat.)

hhh: "...I have not had a solid religious rod in me for a very long time. About the years since my confessor became impotent"

here here :
Every time I put a pelvis on my head after I hang my washed clothes.
Katya is 26 years old.

Katy, let’s meet you, I am 30. and Sasha.

Every time I put a pelvis on my head after I hang my washed clothes.
Katya is 26 years old.

xxx: I’m recently in the electric car, a lady sitting next to me guessing a scanword. It’s boring, so I regularly monitor what’s happening.
A simple question – “the headdress of the desant” – a word of five letters, the second and fourth “e” have already been guessed... A short brainstorm and the lady confidently fits the answer – “CHAIRP”...
YYY: One such girl worked with me. Question in the crossword: "Enemy of the human race" - 6 letters, 2nd, 4th and 6th - "A" - writes "sabaka"!

“One of the most interesting and difficult tasks faced by the financiers of the DPR and LPR was the opening of the PrivatBank ATMs” – Igor Strelkov (speech at the Moscow Economic Forum)

I am now in a mask.
Which other mask?
Wife: in the mask of a beautiful woman, bleat!

Before going to sleep, I slept a lot. While he was sitting on the throne, it was two o’clock at night and there was a transition to summer time (I live in Kharkiv).

The expression "spending an hour in nowhere" has a literal meaning...

Do you remember Claude Frolot from "Notre-Dame"? He climbs a cloud under forty to rape a fifteen-year-old fool and accuses me of “You have deceived me, You are destroying me!”

or Russian work

The moon cried out, “Oh, the wicked!
Getting Married at 70
A young girl!
Let me stand firm in that –
He is a bridegroom!
The old fucking man said:
He wants to reap where he did not sow.
It was very painful!"