Strange has recently gone fashion.
Every self-respecting, decent, unmarried girl should have a small child.

If prostitution is legalized, then in the employment center directions will be given for employment in the Emergency Services "Elvira", and for 3 refusal of the proposed work benefits will be deprived)))))

Paradox: Poor people vote for stability!

Many, I hope, know the joke about a colonel at the military department, who, looking through the lists of students, begins to go from a hustle, almost to an apoplexic blow, and then, through tears, shares with a colleague: "Comrade Pizduhail, look at the student's funny surname - the Rabbit!!!"
If not to be confused, 1979, the military department of one of the Volga universities. Audience of 200-250 people (located and more), in fact 100-120, the male part of the two faculties - machmat and physics. Many (and I included) have already found a job for the next hour and a half, writing a bullet, playing chess and endless crosses for money. In short, the routine. But in five minutes, the lecturer manages to capture our attention. The fact that this is a new teacher made us little confused (or little attracted, I don’t know how right in this situation). The lectures could be read by any officer of the department to whom the choice of the chief fell on that day. The corresponding paper with the name of the specialty and the order number of the lecture was taken and then, without observing the signs of interruption, some technical pauses for understanding were solemnly read before the audience. I’ll also tell you with a certain talent – what a show.
It broke all stereotypes.
First he presented himself:
“I am the new teacher of the military department of the State University – Captain Babkin. Then he joyfully proposed, “Let’s get acquainted” and began to read the list of those present in order to become acquainted. Further, you need either a stenogram, but it is lost))), or try to represent the process itself. Not only that everyone besides the captain understands that the acquaintance with such a crowd will take at least half a couple, so he still names, if she can't read more than two passages from the first time, breaks into pieces (Beloborodov from the fourth time asylum) and puts the emphasis in the most unexpected places. After 40 minutes, two-thirds of the list had already been announced, half of the audience, consisting of twenty-year-old bouts, not having the opportunity to laugh out loud, whispered under the tables, but the most transparent already understood the main fun ahead, more precisely at the end of the list.
Here was my bet - three liters of beer against a cup, that my friend Vitya Popov will be Popov (he then a month at the beer bar did not appear, when it became known on what occasion he gave me the beer), here was the captain picked up the first Rabinovich, Arkash (we had two, one from the Mehmat, another physicist) and joyfully, like a child, looked at him. It seems he often had to hear the name in jokes, but the happy owner he saw for the first time. Further on the list was again Rabinovich, but Valery. Captain Babkin could not immediately realize this fact. That two Rabinovichs could be in one room at once was a complete exotic for him. Valera got up by himself, knowing that he was next on the list. Babkin stared at him, and insecurely asked, “Sho, too?Valera just shrugged his hands, as if agreeing with all the captain’s possible versions. And on the horizon, more precisely through 2-3 surnames in the list, Habanes Cabos was already whispering Jose Viktorovich. Such silence the audience did not seem to know even at night. Everyone, including Jose Victorovich himself, a full guy in glasses with thick glasses, kept his breath behind and watched the captain. How could it be known that in the 1930s, now in the last century, several hundred children were taken from Spain in the USSR, whose parents were fighting at this time against Franco, and one of the grandchildren of the heroes-communists is now sitting in the hall.
At first, the captain simply breathed and moved his lips, trying to compose from the letters at least something in his understanding meaningful. Then he began to whisper and seemingly about himself, but in the prevailing silence all heard it, he said with feeling:
“Hernia is something!”
The first tears flowed on the cheeks of the listeners, and the captain grumbled more and more, and, apparently, from a state of apparent gentleness, he moved into a state of deep "personal hostility" to Habanes Cabos, Jose Victorovich. As he imagined him, the story silences, but... When he closed the list, he went out of the department to the audience and said with a voice that did not predict anything good:
“Well, Karabas Barabas, go out, show yourself what you are!” almost everyone shouted. Someone, not noticing it himself, from the excess of feelings knocked his foot into the partition between the rows, someone (and there were many of them) just slipped under the table, someone needed an ambulance. The two laughed, Captain Babkin and José Vittorovich Habanes Cabos.

Captain Babkin became a major a month later, and Jose remained Karabas Barabas until 4th course, until he became the Paris Carrier. But this is a separate story.

– Petrovich, you don’t know when our post is over? So you can eat meat calmly.
Do you not eat it?
Eat, but somehow uncomfortable.

Who called the true warrior???! to
XXX: I am not a real sword!! to
Yyy: Alexander, we have a lamp burned in 245 audiences, please change it.
XXX is OK.
Zzzz: the paladins are no longer the ones

Some guys approach me and there is the following dialogue between us (the end of which I did not expect to hear):
Q: Do you have a cigarette?
I: I am not smoking!
Q: Why is it?
I: I am not able!
Study this way, Joppa!! to

neoSENS: I was organizing a "unwinning lottery" at school in the junior classes.
There were folded papers inside which was written who which prize won. The lottery was free. The prizes were different: Shkelban, fofan, pine under the bark, etc.)))
All the prizes were returned to me in double amount :((

Today I received the best SMS in my life.
"I’m getting bored"

I am in shock!
The Cat.

One girl had a cat and she loved him.
In the morning, when he wanted to eat, the girl walked, and she woke up.
He met her at home after school, grabbed her.
But one day the cat broke his neck around the corner of the refrigerator.
The cat was taken to the veterinary, but it was too late.
The girl was sitting next to him, holding him by the foot and crying.
Then they buried him.
But to this day, the girl takes a picture of the cat, sits down, kisses the photo and cries, realizing that the time for the cat has stopped.

to wear? Broken the neck at the corner of the refrigerator?? to

Well, I decided on the personal front :)
It is beautiful! And how?
Cardinally...
Is she pregnant?
-Aga:) It turned out to be so simple..I put the status "I want a son". Four women immediately responded. Prepare for the wedding)
Do you want to invite me to a salad?
of course!

My name is Andrew. And every time I install a screw and enter an account name, I feel like an idiot.

We are so happy when we seem to be paid a thirteenth salary for nothing. In fact, this is 1% of the money we’ve stolen.

How did you raise such a smart boy?
Lying, threatening, blackmailing – it’s all pretty simple.

XXX is
I understand, of course, that the present generation is a bit of a fucking thing, but it was the last drop.

YYYY
What to forgive?

XXX is
In a neighboring house, a little girl sits on the balcony in a betman’s mask, reads a book and eats a banana through a hole in a mask.

We wish prompt recovery to all victims of the explosions in Dnipro... all will be GOOD!!! to

Comments on the article "Belarus can live on 743 thousand rubles a month, the government believes:
XXX: Maybe but not for long.
yyy: Look at the Discovery channel "Ultimate Survival". There is everything explained in detail, as there are bushes, plants, drink from the pebbles, etc. The next story will soon be filmed here.

Maya: I decided that I was quietly happy)))
Onycosolve: remove my settings
Maya: Well...
Maya: In "Parameters" you choose "Enable protection against stress" to the highest level, it will check for the presence of irritating factors in your environment (+ you can also close access to problems in "personal settings"), the size of the smile you choose average. In case of a critical error, the sleeping mode should be enabled.

Family business is fun. I get up in the morning and go to the bathroom. My husband is going to work. I come out of the winery – this cranberry stands on one knee in his hand, holds the key to the office and says, “Come out after me!” He looks like a cat from shrek. Going to work...

I wonder if there are absolutely white zebras.
Yes, the horses are called