Games containing scenes of violence
Phoenix o_0 (ITC) :: It is not games that provoke cruelty, but the glutes in them.

The Storyteller
— — —
I’m going to work today, a guy comes in front of me and talks on the phone: “I bought my fifth iPhone, now I call him.” He failed to negotiate and slipped and fell. As a result, the iPhone crashed: the screen crashed and covered with cracks, the battery crashed and some more inside.
Conclusion: it is bad to talk on a expensive smartphone and not look under your feet.
— — —
Either you have a Chinese phoneless guy, or you have a stormy fantasy.
The iPhone screen can not fall off, because it is wrapped with screws to the aluminum frame
The battery of the iPhone is glued into the body throughout the area, its replacement requires little effort, so that it could not fall out precisely from the fall.

Quote: "Cut off employees access to anime sites "I’m here Sisadmin and no nash-meash and the like I won’t allow"

(>°-°)> ┳━━┳ DID, xso! ( ╯°□°)╯ ┻━━┻

From the Pavlius:

Nature has rewarded women with a sensor that detects fools. Use them. At least for self-improvement"

Comments: Just rju!!!!!!!!!!!! Something in our country, the scoundrels, and almost everyone says that her husband is a fool.

Answer to comment: Sensors, Chinese

a funny stamp met in the press : "especially ordinary special forces"

Anya: Zhenya offers to marry fictitiously, give birth to two fictitious children and take a mortgage with a discount
Anya: I thought about it.

Announcement on the website:
Attention to!! to
Website for reconstruction.
Magic can happen!

XHHH: Add a picture on our forum. Mint, a car dealer, a manager for the import of Chinese hue, a custodian, a small official and a Gazprom lawyer are discussing how to raise Russian production.

And in general, there was school, universe, work (although something of this should be now, especially for the childless single), and there are no interesting people anywhere? Start with yourself that is not right with you.
— — —
I sell a secret to look for.
It is not so with the girl that they are many and smart, and beautiful, and interesting, but they work in offices, such as banks, accounting offices. The collective is mostly female, the clubs do not hide, and they remain out of sight.
Men are concentrated in the army, force structures and also do not get in the eyes of girls.

These two numbers do not cross :(
A professional swing.

harsh laborers. Production vs Supply.
Q: How many lakes do you need for three months?
P is 100 liters.
A: No, 100 liters are too expensive. Give it less?
P: Well well well. Buy five bottles.
C is good. will be.
The cargo arrives in a week. 5 cups of lakes. Banks of 20 liters.

The opinion of the crowd is merely the skillfully disseminated opinion of the leading Unit.

The nightmare

One day my friend Igor called me.
Word for word, he began to complain about fate.
In general, he has all thanks to God - his wife, children, but there will always be a walking carpet with a deck.
And such a captain was Angela, his wife’s friend.

Here is the short story of Igor himself (short, because without mat):
- This same Angela is a classmate of his wife, the same jobless as his wife, also does not work and does not want to.
Okay, when they just talked for hours on the phone – it can still be understood, but this has been a year, like this friendship, running at our homes on schedule, three times a week, like a freight train: Monday, Wednesday and Friday. If she sees her daughter somewhere in our neighborhood going to dance, then this doll, three times a week, occupies my kitchen for a couple of hours and drinks my coffee.
Coffee, of course, I do not regret it, although, as it is unfortunate, for her, it is a pity.
In any case: you don’t look like cowards in the apartment, you don’t whisk loudly, you don’t go into the kitchen, there they have smoke of food, they sit, they smoke, they look at the internet, their husbands are discussed.
I tried to talk to my wife, she didn’t understand me, she said:
“Igor, I’m not sorting your friends and I’m not asking – who are you going to play with? Do you want me to leave my house and meet my friends somewhere else?
I don’t want it, but I can’t tolerate Angel with her smoke anymore. What to do? I will not add the mind, the brains boil, whether to hire a killer, or to burn ball dances.

I wanted to help my old friend, but I didn’t know how. The only thing he advised was to talk face-to-face with that Angela, to explain the situation, but Igor interrupted me and said (I drop the matte again):
Do you think I didn’t talk to her? This Angel... the other creature, listened, left, and then “melted” everything to the wife. We didn’t talk for a week, and this fox continues to choke at us, and even the offended face does, the frog...

The next day, I met my longtime friend Elena, a very good psychologist.
Yesterday I called Igor.
Don’t worry, I’ve solved your problem. After tomorrow, the psychologist Elena will come to you, she will turn your Angelou in a baron's horn to meet her at the train station.
How will he come? From Moscow to Peter. I will meet, of course, but how long will it cost me?
"Don't drift, Igor, I joked, she's going to Peter for her business, and you'll just meet her and take her where she tells you, and while you're going, she'll teach you the strategy and tactics of fighting Angela. How did I understand? The reception.
Huh, that’s a different thing. I am your debtor.

...And here, two years have passed since then, I completely forgot about this story, but yesterday I called Igor again, I immediately reminded him of his problem and asked:
So how did your business end there? Has Elena helped you?
"You ask, I did everything exactly according to science, as she said: at first, a whole week I didn't scream, even sometimes I went to the kitchen, drank coffee with them. My wife was happy. Then one morning I woke up and wrote:
Glad you woke me up, I had a terrible nightmare.
What did you dream?
I dreamed I was having sex with your Angel.
With Angela? No matter what, what’s the nightmare?
“No, it was just nothing, the nightmare is that Angela didn’t agree with my whole dream, and I sold our country and paid her all the money for sex. Do you imagine?
And then you, like that, run into the room, find us in bed and shout, “Igor! Where is our Dacia? It is not in place!
and horror. Here I woke up...

The woman nodded, shrugged her shoulders and said nothing.
Two years have passed since then, but Angela, for some reason, I have never seen her again.

If trees gave free Wi-Fi, we would plant the whole planet, but they only produce the oxygen we breathe.

For Star Wars fans:

This is how freedom dies – under the thunder of applause.
(J is Lucas, The Star Wars
_______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
I do not justify the Empire in any way, but... Did you really regret that ‘freedom’? Well, when oligarchs do what they want, and everything according to the law. Just a corner away from the center – and op, slavery flourishes, laws do not work. Everyone is run by a bunch of low-willed politicians, in the ears of corruption. If so, I’m also talking about Star Wars, then you’ll think more about it.

An article on the entertainment site about interesting facts about the human body.
After the article traditionally comments:
Why do you stand up in the morning?
2: Power on Self Test

Some Ukrainian patriots have told us so many times how losing Crimea is, which is unclear – why they consider Russia an occupier and not a deliverer.

The scene in the Moscow metro.

Two rappers, aged 16-20, go along the transition and, sharing headphones, listen loudly to the corresponding music.
They talk in parallel. I can only hear the dialogue:
Don’t trust him, he will hate you and betray you.
Rapper No. 2 (thinking)...He loves me, he can’t wish me evil.

X: Near the subway station for the second year a woman stands with a sign "Help, a child dies ". The second year!

You don’t understand, because we all gradually die. It collects money for immortality.

and silver:
I’ve told this story a hundred times.
I repeat
I received the VO in Adygea (Muslim Republic), the first courses lived in the community.
The boys told me something. One of them grabbed a local girl somewhere, dragging her into the room. While the other neighbor pretended to be asleep, he had oral sex with her. Then the anal.
That seemed little to the girl. “Well, I can’t do it anymore, out, ask the neighbor, I don’t mind,” she advised. She gave in pop and neighbor. Then he asked, "Maybe, normally, in the p*z? ", which got a delicious splash and a hysterical scream: "I AM WHAT, IN YOUR WORSE, A WOMAN?"and "
;D

The passengers of the plane held a referendum and decided to separate from everyone at once.