Moderators, I call on you!I am tired of reading the scratches of pseudo-smart dolboebs, which the Russians wrote in white, that this is a humorous site, and not a forum!Take the job, don’t miss them "smart "heads!!! to

The telephone conversation

A strong voice: Hello!
The child’s voice: Hi.
Solid voice: I would like to hear Dmitry Sergeevich, the company’s director "####". Can you call him on the phone?
The child’s voice: And he cracks.
Okay, I’ll call you later. (They are bad)

In the crash of the cars of the FSB and the FSO rules violated themselves.

Returns from cleaning.
There was a bunch of tobacco ashes inside.
The guy working out there: "Smoking is harmful to your laptop"
It has fallen)

The employment psychiatrist was very interesting. She began to ask standard questions, such as how the searches go, what your strengths/weaknesses are, what you want, etc. Word for word, we talked for half an hour. At the end of the conversation grit: find a job, think of me too.

It is fun to see how the concept of "premium" was transformed. From a fairly rare plush to a compulsory bucket. Something like teasers, which were at discretion before, and now is almost not a must and at least 15%.

xxx: here is wifi =)
YYY: What a horror. The entire conference! and ;)

“Your Majesty,” the First Minister addressed King George the Thirty, “it is necessary to make a royal decision. To execute or forgive?
Remind me what the problem is, the king replied.
This is about the overseas scientist. The one who stopped the plague. Some say burn a witch. Others say he is a saint. What shall we do?
“There you have to think,” the king shrugged his eyebrows, “It would not be good to let the wizard go. But executing a saint is also bad. Most importantly what?
What is? Do not make mistakes?
No, it is possible at once. The important thing is that the mistake is not irreversible.
The king swallowed his lips.
In general yes. If we justify him as a saint, we will no longer be able to execute him as a wizard. And if we execute as a magician, then we can easily justify (posthumously) as a saint. Tom is so.
G-ni-al-no, Your Majesty! the Minister cried with a breath.

Isn’t it time to buy a washing machine?
YYY : Why? I already have a wonderful dishwasher.

Moreover, the child allowance helps parents, and is not obliged to fully pay off instead of them.

Tell me, please, what can be the help from 50 scratches per month?

The question:
These Chinese are strange. The lamp did not work, it turned, a sprinkle fell out of it, for half an hour I thought where to put it, there was no place under it. I pulled it out, assembled the lamp and miraculously the lamp works. The question is why spring?

The answer:
So that it did not accidentally turn on during delivery and the battery did not fall.

I read the news in the innet "Stalin's granddaughter has become the stunning star of the Internet", and in my head I hear a voice: "To shoot..."

I am lying with my child infected. My husband does not know how to cook and brings me ready food from the supermarket.
As it turned out - there are salads from the market straight into the infection, this is very thoughtful!

to this:
AAA: It is only in us the sausage is made by TU, and toilet paper by GOST.
............
Well, however, from guest raw materials, sauce is more convenient to make.

Terrorists are organizing explosions in Turkey, and it’s all fun. And once the same thing happens in Belgium, everyone begins to go crazy.

Yyy: When I wake up in the morning and find shit in the toilet, I’m not surprised. But if I find shit on the kitchen table, I start to worry.

A good thermos, by the way.
Will you use?
- Yes, only the boiling water will not be poured out anymore, or it will not cool.

And if there is no demand for oil, our blood will go to exports.

Accident / Interseason / 1996

What horror should I be deprived of the prize because of some fucking man, who stumbled on his object, cooking a hero's stick??? to
///////
It did not serve, right? The army method is one, crushed by the whole company. Then the company gives the puzzle and no one cuts anymore.

“Well, after such a tirade of marriage hatred, patriarch and pidarass, I can only offer marriage by saying that I’m a devout gay.

XXX is haha. Here in the subway a couple plays in crosses on the phone display!!! Type there are the same traces when you lead your fingers))
yyy: This is the coolest phone app I’ve heard of :)
xxx: Well with the same success you can play on the monitor ))) hands)))
Yyy: And that’s already called cross-platformity :)