bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63413
 26.04.2012
I set the alarm at 6.20. At 7.40 a girl enters the room and says, “Girls, you have an alarm clock here...”

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №63412
 26.04.2012
We had a conversation with Chardash yesterday. To illustrate what it is (music, not the dance itself), I put Chardash Monty first, and then Mr. Brahms' Hungarian Dance No. 5.
At the second, the door opens, the silence of thirty years materializes in the door.
MCH (on the phone, with a quiet voice): Yes, la, well, his name. to the ben of his mother... And I say, let him go to the pitch. All for now.
And I said: Oh yeah! You will find X.
We are :?! to
MCH: Oh yeah la! and brahms! ... (smiling widely) Johannes, gentleman, brahms!
We are :???! to
MCH: Oh, I probably was wrong. Sorry to go.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №63411
 26.04.2012
Introduction to Conflictology:
Lecturer: Give me,, examples of conflicts known to you.
Well, from the audience who where - wars, family troubles, etc.
And I gave out: the conflict of the bulky new game and the old video card!
Do you have a husband Sisadmin? I have sympathy!)

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №63410
 26.04.2012
When you walk in the street and the passers look around and say to each other, “Look, see, this is the same Gondon!” – it’s also glory.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63409
 26.04.2012
We have installed a new video surveillance system. There are two boxes and fun so the light bulbs blink. On each is an inscription UMBRELLA and a distinctive logo. A girl came to settle. I have to stay at work until late.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №63408
 26.04.2012
I watched one broadcast yesterday. So they said that...

It turns out that before I re-incarnate myself in someone else’s body, I am shown different options from beginning to end, and I choose the option for myself.

Pectpictep: moth is burning under the window tires again

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №63407
 26.04.2012
All my friends want me to finally have a twin. Eating a girl. Although... yes. The first option is correct!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №63406
 26.04.2012
Wearing clothes is bad ?
IRA: Next time I’ll be a straw, wearing a dress. You’ll get rid of it and swallow it up.)
Climate: O yes baby

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №63405
 26.04.2012
xxx: well, and what do you want from a couple of programmers who, even when Anja was pregnant, joyfully informed friends about the successful connection of libraries to the sources and the beginning of the compilation of the program.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63404
 26.04.2012
My Australian friend told me if he was a man.
and Australia. The night. In the Orthodox temple, located in one of the quiet sleeping areas, the Easter service is held. People with candles and flowers in their hands. Clothes and solemn faces. Smoking a ladan. Everyone is listening to the bell. And here in the temple enters a sleeping undressed man in shorts. With an incomprehensible glance, he surrounds the people and says in complete silence: "People, what the fuck are you doing here? I am fucking working tomorrow".

[ + 33 - ] [11 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63403
 26.04.2012
My sister moved to the UK, now we only communicate on the net:
I understand that this is real English, but it is very difficult to get used to. It feels like an Englishman has put oatmeal in his mouth in the morning and goes with it all day. You approach the police officer:"Can you tell me how to go to the library", and he, through his full mouth, says:"Fir-fir-bir-fir-nam".
I got a taxi driver yesterday. I tell him, and I explain where to go, I try to say as clearly as possible - zero. I hear that it has some accent, but I still don’t know what. I wrote the address on the paper – wow, I understand! And then he got under his nose in Russian: "Dirty chicken, drumming and drumming, you can't find out a hero! " So I wanted to knock him with a umbrella - I couldn't get out sooner that I didn't suffer?! But I’m learning to be a real English woman, so I didn’t even blink with my eye, and I’m mourning with a brick: “Nipanatna,” say.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №63402
 26.04.2012
XXX is
Too many people who don’t get into #blow yet don’t understand them.

YYY
So what prevented you from studying in the universe normally?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №63401
 26.04.2012
My dear, I have one request for you.
What is a rabbit?
I found this interesting brush, can I use it for a ruby?
by Rostislav:! to
Rostislav: No of course!! to
Yellow :?
Rostislav: Aha!! to
Rostislav: This is a cleaning pencil for the lens! It costs 170 UAH!! to
Yellow : :(

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №63400
 25.04.2012
She is: Hi! I bought a new car with a machine!
He said: Congratulations to you! You need to ride her. Hold the first 2000 on the 3000 tachometer, do not brake sharply to wipe the disks, put N on the lighting. I understood?
Is it a tachometer?? to
He is fucking...

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №63399
 25.04.2012
The news burns:
On the bag with the body of the MI-6 officer found foreign DNA. Williams' body was found in a large bag, locked outside the castle, in the bathroom of his London apartment in August 2010.
Detective Jackie Sebayr said that "two particles with DNA samples of a stranger were found on the lightning bag and on the lock." She said that at the beginning of the investigation, she had the opinion that a stranger was involved in the death of the cybercriminal.

Well, understandably, and before they thought that when he got bored, he went into the bag and locked himself in the lock.)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №63398
 25.04.2012
Yesterday Tora watched, new
XXX: The Americans ended up
I understand tolerance, all affairs
With all my respect, friends.
xxx: the gate to Azgaard is guarded by the Negro, it is already a lot of shit!
Yyy: Glad that Loki is not a Tajik player

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №63397
 25.04.2012
Last summer, I had a girlfriend with whom we went out for a walk and I often told her funny anecdotes.
xxx: and she read me poems of her own composition
YYY: Didn’t you try to curl your foreheads and scratch the alphabet?
Romance is shit.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №63396
 25.04.2012
Today I am standing in the store and looking at a window in the zoo. Outside the department, it is not very clear what is sold in the department. The man comes in, the shirt is half-broken (hot). Underneath the shirt is a shrub vegetation. The man is obviously in a hurry, so he does not immediately see where he entered, but at the end of the day he issues a prepared question: “Girl, do you have scissors?” “The seller, without breaking away from any papers and looking at him: “Do you cut your nails or wool?”
The man from the department fled, and I fulfilled.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №63395
 25.04.2012
Alexandr: I am in the toilet, the stomach grabbed.
<..>
Olga: look, don’t bite the bite :)
<..>
Alexandr: I’m not from the grizzly, I have an iPad new here.)
It’s about your cock.
Alexandr: Suki swallowed rats
Fuck it, foolish
Olga: I am about the iPad))

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №63394
 25.04.2012
Listen to the woman and do the opposite.
WOW: When this phrase is spoken by a woman, there is a risk of falling into an endless cycle.

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