bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73974
 08.12.2012
I’m not a grammar-nazi, but when my boyfriend wrote to me that I was a baranesse...

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №73973
 08.12.2012
I haven’t played on your internet since recently.
I had a girlfriend with whom we had a good relationship for over a year.
I thought she was my best friend and shared all my secrets with her.
xxx: well, she said from the male sex, but I was not embarrassed because many people do so.
X: And her name was Waley, how did I know?
It was a time when I wanted to see Irene.
XXX: It was a man.
xxx is in love
XXX: I had to fuck.
XXX and getting married
So I’m no longer on your internet!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №73972
 08.12.2012
In the internet cafe opened the story, I read the search query: why so many old fat girls gather in the internet cafe in Moscow and occupy computers.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №73971
 08.12.2012
xxx> I often dream of apocalypse or post-apocalypse
yyy> asteroid is too simple
xxx> Yellowstone super volcano is also a topic
yyy> no, it would be cool if the world afterwards.
XXX> the world afterwards? OOO
yyy> world after )))))))) ahahahaha flood of course
yyy> the world after is my Olya when I stick to her +)))))

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №73970
 08.12.2012
Going out of the metro on Mayakovskaya, I see a man standing and talking on the phone, looking at the concert hall named Tchaikovsky. I walk past him and I hear a magnificent phrase: I am at this fucking philharmonic, and where are you?

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №73969
 08.12.2012
I am a wife:
“I have a to-do list that asks you to make my jeans.
Please ask...
Anna, give me my jeans
is accepted. Go out (continues to do your business).
Aahane...
You have written " ask". You fulfilled

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №73968
 08.12.2012
Jam Hadar: You're my friend, don't hide anything from me... well except the genitals

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №73967
 08.12.2012
The VKontakte Group:

What gender is the dancer/dancer in a yellow costume from the Gangnam Style clip?
They are Koreans.
xxx: thank you
zzz: O_o

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №73966
 08.12.2012
Are you Arab or Jewish?
Can I have my option?
Serge: Thank you for the reply.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73965
 08.12.2012
Hey, they brought a note, say the son works a lot, here the keys and broke off... I wonder who is lying to whom, they lie to me or their son? Because the broken keys are w,s,a,d,ctrl,shift,space...

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №73964
 08.12.2012
Why do cats, when they are asked to open the door and you open it, stand long in the passage?
<SteiN>touch when textures are loaded

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №73963
 08.12.2012
she: za4em voobs4e brosat' kurit'?
I: the whisper said it will not stand
She is: pe4al'ka
I: sadness is, let’s say, the paper in the toilet is gone, or an asteroid is flying to the ground... but with a scream it is a catastrophe!! to

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №73962
 08.12.2012
Nowadays, the ability to get red remains only in hypertensive people and alcoholics.

[ + 46 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73961
 08.12.2012
Theft is the opposite.
The wife has a younger sister, looking at which from the side - it is possible to assume that if you spit or suck in her direction, then she will crash to hit by a shock airwave.
She has 172 cm of body height, and the body itself weighs only 45-47 kg, and she looks like a truss.
Sometimes I call her a “podyum old hangover,” and she doesn’t get offended. He is a technical translator who works. So here. and yesterday.
Late in the evening, a call from her. And immediately, by the fact that she can - without preface:
- I was attacked... Three devils jumped out right on the turn into our street... Billat, the jacket was broken...
A healthy life?
They didn’t know that I was a judo.
Are they then alive? I don’t ask about their health.
- You are funny, and as a result - two are now lying in a frozen pit, and one - escaped, fell!
Are those who are lying alive?
Where are they going? They lie down, crawl, like a crap... Well, what do I do? Can I call the police?
It is stupid! Call an ambulance from the automate - if you find one - and get your feet away from there!
and silence...
- Listen, I am ashamed, of course, but the pockets of the lying - I cleaned up!... compensation, so to speak. For a sudden scare and a broken jacket. Do not worry. These goops had only 593 rubles (they would always live like that).
I am silent...
“Don’t blame, even on the phone – I see your dissatisfied face.
I am them!! All the whole!! It is 93 rubles! I left in the metro.

PS: well... what to say – BIGGODY, type – from the victim – hello to the thief!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №73960
 08.12.2012
The Jew to the thieves: "I have nothing against being robbed, but I have no money with me. “Give me, I will owe you.”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №73959
 08.12.2012

A young man in an audiobook store.
Show me the classic.
Which one?
Aria, Metalica and Manovars.
Do you want something heavy?
What is there?
Well, judging by you – Mozart, Bach, Beethoven...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №73958
 08.12.2012
xx: AV Kaspersky complains about infecting a file with a virus that does not exist)
xx is fucking
3opre: "I think you’re not sick of me"

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №73957
 08.12.2012
Subject: Help for IPT, stupid questions for specialists.
Question: stood 7maximum v 7601..WITH FIGHTING ANTI-VIRUS something caught up..overloaded from the disk..and the label lost...now the black screen...give the way..plz...
Answer No. 1: The cheese machined the wheelchair, went out the window to a date.
P.s And now slowly by point and without rush, explain your problem as elaborately as possible, in familiar words.
Answer No. 2: The battery is rotating, but there is no gas.
Question No. 3: What is it special from birth?
What I don’t understand, Chel directly writes:
>Stalled 7maximum v 7601.
Windows 7 Ultimate version 7601
>While fighting with antivirus something stuck..overloaded from the disk..
As a result of an infection or an antivirus conflict, reinstalled the system from the disk.
>a label lost...now black screens
I did not find the activation key, the trial mode ended, the screw is not activated, the desktop is black.
> give me the way.
Asks for a link to activate the screw or crack.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №73956
 08.12.2012
The Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the Russian Federation finds it tragic that Russian officials have become victims of the “Magnitsky Law” – that is, thieves, scammers and murderers – are “victims”?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №73955
 08.12.2012
Conversation with a programmer:
You have grey hair.
This is a beaten pixel.

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