bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 17 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110710
 15.03.2015
Whenever I cook blades, I remember this masterpiece.
I had to meet a very faithful boy. Well, there I observed fasts, prayers differently knew, went to church, etc. And here, after meeting for a month, we came to this same. Well, all the norms, violent, long, varied (especially considering that for a long time neither I nor he had one); and here I am lying, such, on the bed, shuffled, pleased, and he sat on the edges, bored and crowded. I am so cute, what happened? And he turns and sadly so - you know, in vain we did it... now the Great Fast...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №110709
 15.03.2015
Xxx: I love beach parties - somebody already in the evening dress, and somebody else in swimsuits.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110708
 15.03.2015
to this:

<...>
The most brilliant example: Mitsubishi Paghero
Tag: in Spain
xxx: Where the word Pajero is read as "Pachero" and means "Nanist" <...>
It is ===
You heard the bell, uncle.
One day I had to know exactly what it meant.
He didn’t let go and called the Spanish Embassy.
So, "Pachero" is approximately "A car of straw".
And this is "Pohero" - from the word "Pohara", that is "Pohara". So it’s not even "Nanist".
= o )


I have lived in Spain for 7 years. Hacerse paja - to shake, pajero - an onanist. Poja - there is no such word in Spanish at all, if there is a consonant, it means clearly not a ass, a ass is a culo. Look for fools in the mirror.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №110707
 15.03.2015
A funny look:
I am a member, Balin!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110706
 15.03.2015
The destruction begins when the boss addresses his subordinates with the words: I will not do my job for you.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №110705
 15.03.2015
Once in the summer they were sitting in an open bar with a spilled beer, a friend, after drinking another 0.5, consumed single-use plastic glasses with a cigarette.
For the fourth or fifth time there was a dialogue with the waitress:
Why are you drinking glasses?
Don’t bring me the same for the second time!
She thought for a while and said dryly:
“If you didn’t go through it, there would be a chance that I would bring you a second time in your glass.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110704
 15.03.2015
I came to the pharmacy for vitamins for sphincter:
- I need vitamins for a cat, advise what thread.
What about your cat? The hair falls out?
You won’t believe it!!! to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110703
 15.03.2015
Starp, what are you talking about? Doing nothing?
We are nothing...
Take the snow, take the snow.
There was no snow, we cleaned it all.
Startup – and what?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110702
 15.03.2015
Someone else is stupid:
and----
Interview with Andrey Arshavin:
Andrei: He doesn’t just look at football as a game, as a square. He also analyzes the processes that happen in world football: development, transfer market, tactics.
Reporter: With the square, do you mean the training square?
Andrei: No, I mean the rectangle.
and----
Square - a game, with the ball, courtyard. Roughly speaking, they break each other. Here he says that he looks at (who is there watching) football not as a "just a ball to catch" but as a complex process.

And the answer "right-angle" is the answer to the dumb question of a journalist, who clearly did not pin the ball in the yard. Q"What can I say to you?"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110701
 15.03.2015
From the wall:

Today is the day of the number Pi. 3/14 of 15
The day of the number Pi was in 1592.
AAA: How about the birthday of Einstein and Sasha Grey? Also today
BBB: Glad you remembered these two great scientists together.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110700
 15.03.2015
Whenever I begin to grumble, crawling into other people’s conspects during the session, I say to my head, “A little bit... boil... Otherwise, together in the army, I will...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №110699
 15.03.2015
She says, “Darling, tell me three words and I’m all yours.”
He said, “Who are you!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110698
 15.03.2015
This is:

Arkady Gaidar, “Chuck and Gek”
Chuck − is undoubtedly Chuck − a dime from Charles (Charles).
And Heck − is, respectively, Huck, a reducer from Huckleberry (Heckelberry).
Does anyone doubt?
It is ===

and ah. For example, people who read Gaidar, and not only this story. And familiar facts from the biography of this writer.
Chuk is Vladimir.
Heck is Sergei.
Read the sources, in short.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110697
 14.03.2015
About the hysterics.

There was hysteria in one of the nieces at the age of 2-2,5. At first, the sister heard about this, that the child rolls on the floor, cries and beats in hysteria, and this ugliness arises just in an empty place. We then seemed to read with her at Spock that it is impossible to react to it at all, the more attention you pay at this moment, the longer the hysteria lasts and happens more often.

Once, my niece and I went for a walk, and, in fact, neither of this nor of this, she suddenly cried out loudly, crawling on the snow, lying and crawling, filling with tears. I stand next to you,
No matter how I react, it’s all about science. A crowd of compassionate and curious people gathered. A lot had to listen to my address - and I do not know how to raise, look at what the child is doing with this idiot, and get up, baby, once your mother is so evil, I will regret you, and you need to call the police, let the child from such a beast be taken away... I am silent and try to breathe exactly, and the child lies, knocks on the snow with his hands and feet and cries... Finally, the nephew exhaled and remained silent. Compassion dissolved in the dale. I picked it up and we went home.
Somewhere six months after the beginning of this figured, she suddenly stopped everything. Interestingly, I have found very little in the life of such resilient, balanced and intelligent people as my now adult niece.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110696
 14.03.2015
xxx: sirga, there are two bd incomprehensible on the server - taskfreak, and wordpress, do you need them?
The second is no.
YYY: the first yes
XXX: I will restore

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110695
 14.03.2015
here.
But God could have created humans in the image and likeness of a cat...Why did he make two-legged, nonsense?
______
Have you seen images of gods in ancient Egypt? I’ve seen a cat, but I’m tired of it.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №110694
 14.03.2015
What combines wine and motorcycles? In Soviet times, they were used if there was not enough money for a full-fledged product (vodka and car, respectively), and now the opposite.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110693
 14.03.2015
My name is Lion. I have no shortened names, only extended ones.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110692
 14.03.2015
Fantasy is adolescent literature. Oh well Nafi :)

Саймак teaches to be a man better than many of the classics.

Learn not to be wise – learn to understand.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №110691
 14.03.2015
By a strange coincidence, those who read a lot of good literature are endowed with innate literacy, and therefore they are often also loaded with intellectuality, apparently also innate.

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