bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №125656
 19.03.2016
Well, let’s say we have a cat and a hammer. The cat is a red lazy cane, playing the role of an additional couch pillow all day long. He plays well, from the heart. The hamak was a little bad, he got a skull injury and went crazy. At night, he runs out of the cage and scares my wife, pretending to be a cockroach. We were afraid (and some hoped) that someday the cat would catch him and eat him. Oh how is it!
I caught it, why not...
An hour after the escape, the children found and took away a confused and humiliated hamster from the cat. Totally entirely licked.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125655
 19.03.2016
He enters the office and sends a message:
- The director is going here, will understand why the problem has not been solved so far.
Everyone got somewhat tense, and the other employee suddenly begins to sing:
The boss goes and the boss goes. Everything is waiting for something...
Everyone knew what :(

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №125654
 19.03.2016
It is simple:

A big aunt goes to the gym and always has cowards, cuddly, sometimes strings.
Then she complains that after her class, she’s all over there.
The question is, the fucking thing to wear such things on training?

As one of my friends told me, when she cried out to go for bread:
I’ll go out, and suddenly there’s a prince, and I’m in cages and without a haircut.and "

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №125653
 19.03.2016
It seems that a rural librarian in a deaf Russian depth does more for the spirituality of the country than the entire government combined.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №125652
 19.03.2016
The taxi driver, after hearing my "I am late", advised to say to the chief "to the fool some go and not go there, spent an hour."
A great country. Spiritual people. I like everything.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №125651
 19.03.2016
My wife went on vacation. In two weeks of her absence, the garbage took out only once. In the house is rubbish!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №125650
 19.03.2016
A comment to the post where the guy writes how he was abandoned by a girl after 4 years of relationship, learning that he was sick with brain cancer: "Sorry, of course, but worry you not long."

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №125649
 19.03.2016
Here is salt and pepper on your table.
In Italy, there will still be a bowl of roasted parmesan
In Thailand, hot sauce
XXX: and in Hungary - skvarki
xxx my family
XXX: The Favorite
XXX: The Squirrel
I would call the child a scavenger.
XXX: to love more

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №125648
 19.03.2016
Cloning with a growing button and Ivan Efremov, the Leather of the shave.
And this is interesting. What is the question is that I see the wrong answers at every update of the page, and I can't find my answer.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №125647
 19.03.2016
I have an IP-foot. He sits next to the router and catches flashing indicators.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125646
 19.03.2016
Commentary on Yandex.Translator:

It’s full of coca, don’t jump!! Fuck the fuck! Those who climb for Elfi, he is not there!! to

Developer Answer: Katya, thank you for your interest in the Elphic language. We plan to add it in the future, keep an eye on updates.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №125645
 19.03.2016
<xxx>I was driving home in the bus. Drop the maffia. Without a rear bumper. Without the front. During the drive, the girl quickly taps something on the phone, not looking at the road.
<xxx> Life does not teach anyone anything.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №125644
 19.03.2016
About the tree. March, the parade of victory, is small things. In some distant year, I slaughtered a tree, and as lazy to throw out, I put it on the lodge. My wife took a brain and I gave up. The most interesting thing was in August to tap with a tree on the garbage, which is 100 meters from the house. A lot of attention.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №125643
 18.03.2016
yyy: "...and in moments of severe headache and especially after the use of anesthetic began to hear the "inner voice of the Wolf-Father and consider himself a fighter with the Black God";;;
YYY: And you have six shakes, and no shit god speaks to you.
YYY: That was the point.
That’s because I’m God and I don’t talk to self-proclaimers.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №125642
 18.03.2016
I work in telecom.
The director approaches and speaks to my colleague:
“Anton, there one big client needs to allocate a beautiful number.
Anton, without turning his head, with a stone face gives out:
I don’t have a feeling of beauty.
The curtain.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №125641
 18.03.2016
There will be no shame

For the purpose of creating a new...
...So why not count these pigs (from which windows it flies out) and force them not to clean up behind you?

No one admits, I say yes, I throw and I will throw. All the indigenous intellectuals in the third generation, read from birth, do not leave libraries.
But the rubbish is, yes. A thick layer.

[ + 30 - ] [8 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125640
 18.03.2016
>>And all the ballast, office plankton - health is monitored, sports are engaged, diets are supported, pieces are dealt with, shampoos are used differently, cream... And in life nothing has been done for civilization, and they will receive a pension.

I have long noticed that the masses of the people consider the work exclusively the motor activity of a person - to move, to drag bricks, to spin a lamb. And working with information for them is so, easy papers to translate.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №125639
 18.03.2016
The method is called “capture-recapture” (“catch – catch again”). If every fish caught is marked and released, then the probability of catching the marked fish will grow nonlinearly with the increase of the number of attempts. The size of the population can be estimated roughly as the square of the number of attempts before the first marked fish is caught.

For example, if the total of brilliant carassies is 10,000, you need to catch about 100. If you consider that another fish that you can shamelessly eat will be caught, the ecologist will have good fun, having fished for a couple of days and lived in nature with a fireplace, a tent and a knighted earpiece. An ecologist is not a vegan, he can.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №125638
 18.03.2016
That is obvious! The burning vacuum is extinguished by a compression hose and a liquid vacuum tank!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №125637
 18.03.2016
XXX The Cat Has Arrived
YYY: What does it do?
XXX: The Milk

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