The news:
Surgeons in South Africa performed a successful penis transplant for the first time in the world

The first comment:
Surprisingly: the first heart transplant in the world - in 1967 also in South Africa, now - a penis. South Africa specializes in "love organs".)

Articles about Loki:

The reason for the choice and the main difference between Loki and the Asses was that Loki did the ugliness not for a great purpose, but exclusively for the sake of the process itself. Moreover, the instinct of self-preservation was manifested in Loki with a certain delay, so that it was not hindered yet, but it gained full power only when its carrier received pronouncements for the basar, discharge and underpinnings.

Asses did not decide to give Fenrir to the livestock, because due to general mental underdevelopment, prophecies and newspaper horoscopes were highly respected.

And Loki, for technical reasons and the absence of veterinarians, went through the cabbage for the entire period of pregnancy. It is easy to guess that his character has not improved from this.

But one day, Loki really stumbled, temporarily abandoning theft, kidnapping, transvestism, sexual harassment, and trusting in order to subsequently abuse them.

Probably, the Asses would have learned a lot more about each other, but then Thor returned, whose ability to navigate in a drunk state was difficult to call otherwise than rudimentary.

and etc.

From Darius:
Vampuka: I was not happy for a long time. The linen plantation was completely destroyed, one lupin survived and the petunia seemed to be whole - she didn't have time to climb, it saved her. In parallel with the planting, she planted their own personal grass for cats. They don’t eat, they’re sweet and sweet. And for a moment turned away... How the grasshoppers work.

A rabbit attacked a pot of spaghetti. He jumped into her from the refrigerator with his head and earned her jaw. I lost the gift of speech from such greed, but the dog reacted - a cat bitten for a frog coming out of the pot. The cat jumped on the spot, flew out of the pot, slipped and fell. Falling, he found that he had spaghetti wrapped on his neck and began to eat them quickly, trying to get up and mourn. By sound it was something like: me-me-me-thought-thought. The dog laughs, the cat, like a beetle, crawls on the table next to the plate, loudly eating spaghetti, the child rolls on the floor and rages. I will leave them.

A practice that believes that this is not the case in life, and I have no children: I am a mother of two children, one of them has been 8 years old. With hysteria (not to be confused with the show) strong hugs are very helpful. It is necessary to embrace it tightly so that the child cannot move. Literally a couple of minutes and the hysteria turns into scratches, and the child quiets. With hysteria, the child cannot cope with his emotions, and adults should help him in this. I never understood the moms who in hysteria grabbed the belt. There are more humane and effective ways, but you don’t have to be lazy looking for them.

Fifteen years ago, my crown phrase I used on the occasion and without was "There is such a sign". Removed Ilya Muromza, he stopped. Then my favourite phrase for a long time became “Massaraksh” – until Bondarchuk delighted with his masterpiece. The expression went to the hops, and died there. I didn’t give up, now I have a cowardly phrase "I don’t see why noble don’s not...".
Here is again!!! to
Hair in the nose!
**********************************************************************
Didn’t you play with dollars?

From Habr:
All losses in the Darwin Prize competitions make us wiser.

xx is:
Did you do occultism?

and xy:
was affair

xx is:
Tell me
If a person is frightened suddenly, the third eye can be opened.

and xy:
may
The real chocolate.

> It is not an instinct. Man has no reproductive instinct, aloo.

? to And the member of men arises exclusively from the desire to sow the reasonable, good, eternal and to be useful to society.

And while the normal class leaders in good faith made the stengazets by February 23 and March 8, my class, guided by its own logic, made the stengazets by February 14 and April 1! >_<

from ZH:
They invented a terrible fairy tale: "Girl girl, the black coat is coming out of your closet! The little girl, the black coat is already getting to the couch! The little girl, Black Coat is lying on the couch! Little girl, Black Coat is lying on the couch with your white cats! (People who understand this place usually start screaming terribly.)

XX: I don’t want to impose on a guy just because I’m short, and he’s cute.
XX: In the end, he did nothing wrong to me.

This is difficult in your Israel. It feels like the whole country’s coding has flown!

The Cinderella:
Cinderella syndrome in action. She bought a sexy maid's costume while washing, washing the refrigerator, the microwave, the bath and the floor throughout the house
— — —
Come in, it’s a mess at home too.

I saw the advertisement of ZK "Lobachevsky".. I am afraid to introduce these houses. Especially from the inside.

How is? How could this word be written? The dog is sorry. I thought for a long time, it turned out to be impeccable.

XXX: Do I still have to jump there?
Tagged with: ku-ku
Tagged with: ku-ku
Tagged with: ku-ku
Tagged with: ku-ku
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
YYY: And not just the cocoa. The devil is just hollowed, for example.

Comments on the demolition of the pedestrian bridge:
Troll: When will we have the municipality in the emergency building to remove it?

It does not insult betrayal. It offends the price you were sold for.

Brain

A well-organized brain is worth more than a well-filled brain.
by Michel de Montén

If I and my boss Lyudmila Viktorovna were landed on a cold and predatory, deserted island, I would not be worried about it, nor would I, on the contrary, enjoy the work of her inhuman intelligence.
Certainly, she would organize such a scheme, in which a puddle with a puddle of wood, himself would run to us from the jungle, somehow opened a fire under him and roasted.
A very smart woman.

And in sight, you don't seem to say, a aunt - like a aunt: a little over fifty, spikes, mask, hairstyle, but as it begins to generate solutions to the most difficult tasks, so, up to the microchips on the whole floor burn out of the hives of her brain.
She is never afraid to go into someone else’s field and play unfamiliar games. He just takes and rearranges the rules of the game.
Even today, we were sitting in her office, Ludmila Vittorovna gave simple and clear instructions on how to conquer the universe as soon as possible, and I listened and remembered.
Suddenly she vigorously pushed out the empty box of the table, threw into it some folder, wanted to push back, but the box crushed - neither back nor forward.
I called to help.
Sitting down on the cushions, squeezed a little, and Ludmila Viktorovna asks, "Can the light turn you on?"
She immediately pressed a button in the box and the light burned. Right in the box.
I was surprised, but pretended to be so. Is it little? Per the rich have their habits and now it is so fashionable that the light is on inside the outlet boxes.
Finally, I pulled out the box from the table and was already trying to put it back, as suddenly in the depths of the table I saw the face. I looked up and realized that it didn’t seem... from the bottom of the upper box, Lyudmila Viktorovna looked at me.
I opened the box and asked:

“People, I’ll still understand the light inside the table, but why did you paste your picture from the bottom of the box? Very good picture, I could hang it on the wall.

Lyudmila Victoria laughed loudly, which happens extremely rarely, and replied:

I chase the tarakans. And if it’s serious, then don’t be afraid, I haven’t survived completely from madness and haven’t become ill with the mania of greatness. This is what I have invented with the light and with my face. very well. The Truth? I just have to download a lot of different videos from my computer to my phone every day. As long as I drive home in the traffic, I do not waste time, I look.
But my phone turned out to be so smart that if he doesn’t see the housewife with his camera for thirty seconds, the screen automatically shuts off and copying stops. It took me half an hour to sit next to him while this smart man was uploading the video. And to entrust someone else, I didn't want to - too much in the secretary's phone.
This is what I came up with: I put a lamp with a button in the box and glued my photo on top. Now I put the phone in the box, turn it on, the shit, there is a light, let it come in, admire his mistress, copy the video and think he is smarter than me...

If, God forgive me, there will be a machine uprising in the world, then I will immediately find Lyudmila Viktorovna and quickly hide behind her.

My mother talks to her daughter:
How harmful you are...
All claims to the manufacturer.