bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №46232
 20.04.2011
Today I heard from a woman working as a curator at one academy.
I’m a rational person, so if I said something, it doesn’t mean I’m going to do it.
And then my idea of rationality finally collapsed...

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №46231
 20.04.2011
Axilles 182=) (16:03:01 8/04/2011)
I work in my office as a cleaner.

Thessalonian (16:03:11 8/04/2011)
= – O

Axilles 182=) (16:03:15 8/04/2011)
She is an ordinary clerk.

Axilles 182=) (16:03:32 8/04/2011)
A merciless fighter for cleanliness and order!! to

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №46230
 20.04.2011
My friend's grandmother told me how they were sent to Mongolia in the distant Komsomolsk, they built a house there, they finished, the apartments were handed over, and then after a while they came for the remnants of things. they go down, downstairs at the exit of the entrance there is a toilet with a mountain of shit, they naturally got upset, they were told that they were not Russian pigs to bite in the apartments, the Mongols at their toilets all bite and bite in them at the entrance.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №46229
 20.04.2011
XXX: Here you tell me - we call every day except for the weekend, then we write in the aske, and now even the everyday skype. Have I not beat you yet?? to
YYY: Zebala of course... just no way to stifle you, you have to stifle.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №46228
 20.04.2011
“Daddy has started Facebook,” wrote D. “I’ve taken you,” the parent reacted.

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №46227
 20.04.2011
Turn on the TV
Robocop said:
It is futile!
I believed, turned off, went to make the cursor.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №46226
 20.04.2011
She: Of course, you are constantly using me!
He: Who are you using? I never use you!
She: Well and fool!

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №46225
 20.04.2011
I’m good, I don’t have a boyfriend. I like you, and I like to hint.

[ + 69 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №46224
 20.04.2011
msasha92 (23:05:53 19/04/2011)
I want press like Arnold, summer soon.

Small (23:06:25 19/04/2011)
Arnold has no press, he only has a head like a basketball ball.

msasha92 (23:07:13 19/04/2011)
The Blue Angel. I am raaaaaal

Small (23:07:26 19/04/2011)
No, but CHO

msasha92 (23:07:44 19/04/2011)
It is about the great Arnie.

Small (23:08:05 19/04/2011)
I would say like the governor of the United States.

msasha92 (23:08:37 19/04/2011)
Governor of America!! Aahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah Angels to Spy

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №46223
 20.04.2011
On April 11, 2011, FGUP "Post of Russia" was awarded the international award "Branding of the Year 2010" in the category "Services and services".

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №46222
 20.04.2011
xxx: my sister gave me a pen with disappearing ink. It looks like an ordinary gel. Fuck, I forgot to tell her about it, and she wrote to her:

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №46221
 20.04.2011
Women don’t always know what to say, but they always know how.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №46220
 20.04.2011
Unreal requests
We wandered with the camera through the streets and asked the passers the same question:
“What is your greatest wish?”

They asked a man ninety, but apparently the majority of his desire read in women's magazines: give them an island in the ocean, a house and a golf course on it (Which of them tried to play golf...? Walking with a cane on lawns and swamps, it is easier and more useful for rabbits to grind grass. I once played, I did not like it, I felt forgotten in the steppe as a hockey player...) Naturally, the bags with money, yachts, apartments overlooking the Kremlin, etc. and so on.

We have already frozen quite a bit and wanted to “turn the wheels,” I see – a small Tajik in a uniform scratches the grass with a hand-like grabble.
Freddie Krueger, next to a garbage car and tools.
I ask you, dear, what is your greatest wish?
The palace man stood upright, smiled, praised the metal teeth of three different colors and said:
Do you want me to go to the cinema?
Tell me, what would you want the most in the world? Maybe a lot.
Money, a beautiful bride, registration? Anything whatever...
Tajik stopped smiling, thinking, and said:
- I don't even know, money pays us all the time - every time, wife and children
I have, the registration is real... Adin, I still have desires, and
Will you not be offended?
No, I will not, say you. any desire.
Tajik made a little laugh, looked into the lens and said seriously:
I would like most of all that you – the Moscovites would become a little or a little.
more cultural or, on the contrary, a little less cultural.
My greatest wish.
I didn’t understand you, please explain.
Well, if all the Moscovites were to become a little more cultural, then their
Papers – mummies, rubbish, they would only throw into the urns. And if it were
became less cultural than it is now, then bulls-bears, seeds - chewbacks,
They would throw themselves right under their feet on the asphalt and not try to culture them.
to throw it on the grass or grass... It is very difficult for me to collect garbage there, and
Asphalt – r-r-az and melted easily... This is my greatest desire. I am
Did I say right?

I think that Tajik wanted “too much of any wish.” It is easier for us to drop him onto an island in the ocean than to stop depicting himself as a cultural man, hiding his rubbish in the bushes.

But a lot is needed for happiness.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №46219
 20.04.2011
All-Russian Saturday is a day when those who never waste, clean up for all the rest.

[ + 81 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №46218
 20.04.2011
I went to the next door and I heard a call. The office manager opens.

I: Who was it?
D: This is Mashe Inquisition

I think Masha, of course, is still a witch, but still in the middle of the day...
I: Per it is an incassation?
D: Well yes, I’m always confusing.

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №46217
 20.04.2011
Get out of your games!
WOW : Why? I feel better in virtual reality than in real reality.
We’re going to break your computer.
Oh, take the flight of thought, instead of fixing the cause, let’s break the investigation! Take the disabled person the last chance to get a fan! The helper of Hui. If you want to help – give money, no – go on.

[ + 97 - ] Comment quote №46216
 20.04.2011
Girls, remember, if you are lonely, your personal life is not, and you are afraid to meet or start a relationship with someone, do not be upset. Guys are not an example for you very simple in the device: hints do not understand, but direct requests are processed immediately. Call to drink a beer, or there to chase the heroes, or at least just take a walk. Formulate your suggestions more clearly, without these foolish hints and games, and you’ll be fine. Catch what you like and pull)

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №46215
 20.04.2011
xxx: yesterday decided to reconcile with the girl, but since he was in the underwhelming state sent a sms to a friend...
xxx: in 5-7 minutes from him came the answer-good cat, I ask for everything.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №46214
 20.04.2011
OX: lol, on the balcony smoked a straw cat on a tree climbs into a bird nest, under a tree basketball ring, cat leg stretches to the nest, with an epic whirlwind crashes, carefully through the ring fuck, I am on the machine, naked to bleat, the neighbor below slightly from the balcony with laughter did not fuck)

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №46213
 20.04.2011
I bought furniture at IKEA. I started picking up a closet. Carefully dismantle all parts, screws, keys and instructions on the floor in the hall.
Here a friend visits, a former Sisadmin, but now changed his profession and sometimes craving for his previous life.
He enters the hall. Suddenly he instantly changes his face, as if he saw my wife naked, folds his hands at his chest and with incredible joy in his voice says:
The originals...
I’ve never been able to assemble this furniture so quickly.

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