bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 102 - ] Comment quote №29098
 23.04.2010
I drove yesterday in the subway after work.A little tired.My look falls on a young girl sitting in front of me, "Emotivated" appearance.On my knees lies a bag with the image of a group. Immediately the thought blurred: a fuzzy five handcuffs... as I immediately looked at the paper plaque glued to the bag: This is not a handcuff!!! to
And there is another one next to it: FUCK FUCK!! to
The girl also smiled when she noticed my reaction. Probably self-affirmed once again)))
I love Peter! )

[ + 125 - ] Comment quote №29097
 22.04.2010
The attention!
In Russia is preparing the adoption of the law on the property tax, which contradicts Article 35 of the Constitution of the Russian Federation on the right to property. After the adoption of this law, Russians will have to pay annually to the state one percent of the market value of the property (20,000 from 2,000,000, in addition to the already existing taxes). Do not forget about the villas, garages, bathrooms and other properties.

How long can you wait, ladies and gentlemen?
I have already signed the petition on tax-net.org
And you?

[ + 65 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29096
 22.04.2010
I was wrong. The shredder paradise exists. Today the chief came and said that it was necessary to destroy one and a half tons of archive papers :-)

[ + 60 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29095
 22.04.2010
from JJ:

There were guests. I told beautiful.
About how they had a teacher at the institute named Mudrak. He had a nickname.
I did not guess. He was very upset when he found out that he had a nickname.

[ + 82 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29094
 22.04.2010
Signs of the totalitarian system in the social science textbook:

"Rights and freedoms of citizens.
The rights and freedoms of citizens are only declared, people are completely defenseless against the arbitrariness of the authorities. The law does not protect the individual, but the state.

Reminds me of nothing?and ;)

[ + 100 - ] Comment quote №29093
 22.04.2010
The programmers are funny. One of us sits in the room.
It is usually not heard and almost not seen.
Then he suddenly whispers and says "the fucking fucking"
At three o’clock, I can’t see or hear him.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №29092
 22.04.2010
XXX: What did you say? and :)
Yyy: well, if you consider that a slice of vodka is a blow to the liver, and a glass of beer is a blow to the kidneys, then not very...
xxx is?
YYY: If so, they took me very seriously.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №29091
 22.04.2010
After a beer in the electric...
She: Sash, and I have shooters under my shirt.
I am: ha...
she: sash, and shovel, we, girls sometimes under the shirt on the socks of the cowboys we dress, such that stretching...
I: Why is it? = 0
So that the mattress does not hang down.
On the left, you and the bastard.

[ + 89 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29090
 22.04.2010
P@sh'Ok: In general, I dream that it's like I scratch my bags from the store. conserve foods and so on.
And the package is so long transparent, but narrow. It contains a piece of wool, the same long narrow, and flat, and the package is so vacuum. I mean I open it, I deserve this piece of wool, and it turns into a cat. Such a wretched...
I take a pack, and there is a leaflet with the inscription: a cat in a vacuum packaging, dehydrated.
I give him water, he drinks it and becomes so fluffy, healthy and runs away somewhere.
The short comrades.

Q. What did you smoke?

[ + 100 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29089
 22.04.2010
(A conversation with a friend who will soon be a father)
and XXX:
Have you been chasing the strawberries at 3 o'clock?

OOOU :
Woooooo

OOOU :
There is no seed.

OOOU :
But the strawberries are the fucking mother.

OOOU :
Where do I get it, fucking.

OOOU :
Driving at noon

OOOU :
In what shit Patterson found.

OOOU :
brought, 1 - 2 berries eaten said GAVNO what and went to sleep

OOOU :
I almost woke up.

[ + 60 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29088
 22.04.2010
WOOOOOOOOOOOT

I also understood

that if a couple of months I will do without a mouse (one touchpad) I will be able to satisfy any girl with one right

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №29087
 22.04.2010
I went to pizza with a girlfriend.
Will you be something? There are all kinds of salads out there, look what even there is - "Boyarsky"... and just 16 rubles!
D – I wonder what’s in it?
I guess I have a hat at the price :D

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №29086
 22.04.2010
Fucking, and remember how Zadornov told about the stupid laws of the Americans, that you can not get used to the crocodile to the drainage pipe, etc.? to
The law prohibits the driving of blue cockroaches on the roofs of cars, and 100 years later everyone will rust and think.
Oh, you are an idiot, what a foolish law!

[ + 90 - ] Comment quote №29085
 22.04.2010
There was a case in the universe, a guy for his girlfriend on the entrance of the main body painted "I love you", but since we have cameras everywhere, the guy was quickly found. And instead of deleting the inscription, he was forced to fix it on "I love you, my university"

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №29084
 22.04.2010
Fuck to Fuck!! Fuck the horse under the nick SceNiC!!! Give me a gun!!! to
Did he do that to you??? O_O
2 hours to 2 hours!! Two hours ago!! I couldn’t kill a fly on the monitor.
That cattle is constantly escaping from me.
In the end, I was psychotic and unexpectedly kicked my fist on the monitor.
XHH: As a result, my new full HD monitor rolls broken.
I calmed down and wrapped a note. Fuck, you won’t believe it!! to
Which is? ?
HHH: This Gandalf SceNiCa has such an avka on which the type of fly floats!!!!! to
Tagged with: lol lol lol

[ + 105 - ] Comment quote №29083
 22.04.2010
I checked the work tonight. The student almost did nothing, painted a small oak (sweet, I have to say) and wrote the "yozega incomprehensibly (:"

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №29082
 22.04.2010
News on the forum: The girl wanted to kill herself by drinking laxative.
A resident of the suburb of Moscow decided to reduce the account with life, using a handful of potent pills.

Comment: As they say, "to argue and not to live!"

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №29081
 22.04.2010
From Advertising :
Ten women were offered to choose from two shirts, one new, another washed Ariel
9 out of 10 chose a sweater washed with powder
Only 1 in 10 women can make the right decisions.

[ + 65 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №29080
 22.04.2010
About the recent plane crash:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Or a controller?
Yyy - Vanu Batareykina, who was passing by the highway on a bicycle at the time.
Yyy – Patamušta – the helmet’s anger! Then the plane will fall from the sky.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №29079
 22.04.2010
I understood that it was not for nothing that the training on the rights took place, when I gave way to the basket at the right in the store.

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