bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110570
 12.03.2015
Dialogue with the seller in transition:
Are you looking for "Nadia"?
not there. Neither "Nadi" nor "Faith"...
The "Love" is about to end.
We look at each other, we breathe. Total mutual understanding.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №110569
 12.03.2015
If you have taken a student ticket, you will soon be given a military.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110568
 12.03.2015
In Germany, the inhabitants of the former DDR are called "axis" from the word east-east and "vessi" - вест - west - Germany. Somewhere in Leipzig there is an inscription on the wall of the house, made in German, but in Russian letters, you would say with the "Cyrillic": "If you can read this, then you are not a fool!"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110567
 12.03.2015
The baby blog.

Photo of Taxes

Nastia Alpha: Walked with the dog, boys of 5-6 years old on the street began to discuss it fiercely, well, the standard sausage was called, the color was attributed to him black and orange.

But most of all I liked the question: "How much does this new one cost?"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110566
 12.03.2015
If a man comes to me at work and asks about a mate/lover and is interested in my religious beliefs, I will first say nothing to him, secondly, I will send us and I will avoid. What does it matter who I sleep with and what do I believe in? My mom doesn’t know who I’m sleeping with, and who is he?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №110565
 12.03.2015
He felt himself as Henry Baskerville, when he walked from the garage through the desert in the night in a strong fog on a completely deserted terrain. In his hands was only a small cloth for the cloth of homeless dogs, which recently became more and more interested in lonely passers. And around the trail there was a desert reminiscent of Devonshire swamps. He went and in his head came quotes, which in these circumstances was very fun: "...beware of going out on the swamp alone, when the forces of evil rule indissociably", "...I have a whistle, and I have a revolver...".
Better a revolver.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №110564
 12.03.2015
HH: And where are we going? Previously, 100 MHz was enough to fly to the moon, and now to write a text, you need 8 cores of 2 GHz.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №110563
 12.03.2015
X: You will need to connect the electrodes.
X: to test the resistance of your body
Y: Do not doubt
My body will have a decent resistance.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110562
 12.03.2015
Today, my mother and my 5-year-old son were in line behind me. This child broke my pattern! His mother insisted, "You don't put on these warm pants anymore, it's enough, it's already hot, spring. Look, you’re all a mess!" And he’s so full of swelling and you can see immediately that he won’t give up his pants without a fight)))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110561
 12.03.2015
Five copies about UAZik along with a drop of humor:
I am the lucky owner of such a car. After another swimming under the belly of this pet, I sincerely believe that it would be better, stsuke, they collected it from a tree! Honestly, sometimes I want to pull out the most valuable details and burn this piece of omnipresent misunderstanding to the heroes! Dirty shit, I’m not afraid. Snow under the stomach, too. But at the most appropriate moment, in order to go, you need to run like a horse and pull all that stuff on yourself!
and *******
A life joke!
13 reasons to buy Russian cars:
1st You have to fight with the sense of your own importance.
2nd I like the style of the 70s and 80s.
Three It is not a pity to carry in the luggage.
4 is Your hands grow from where you need to.
5 is You have in the garage - three canes of domestic spare parts delivered from your grandfather.
6 is Because foreigners often recall their cars because of marriage, and our - never.
7 is You have to go to the tax inspectorate.
8 is There is money left for toning.
9 is They have everything left – and the steering wheel, and the wheels, and the engine.
10 is With Ferrari in our collage will laugh.
11 is You recently smashed the Zyguli comrade.
12 is You are not going to ride it.
Thirteen During the weekend, you can go under the car longer.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №110560
 12.03.2015
The son-in-law on March 8 made a gift to his daughter - bought tickets for "Aria". I come with the little one to sit down, and the daughter to the concert is coming, the new ropes in the bars is wrapped, is stunned...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №110559
 12.03.2015
It is not yours. I had a friend, a man. Brave, strong, beautiful and smart. And I am very feminine, slim, long-legged, well, and smart too. The friends. As a person with a person, as a person with a person.
And not once in several years of friendship did not arise, not that there were no pleasures - no thoughts about pleasures arose.
-
Did it happen to you or him?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №110558
 12.03.2015
You can’t love animals because they’re so delicious.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №110557
 12.03.2015
The mattress store requires a senior manager, manager, junior manager, assistant junior manager,

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №110556
 12.03.2015
It has always been pleasant how lovers of the house turn the cottage with fried potatoes on butter oil, eating fried cakes, call all this "useful home food", and the macdake is sincerely considered a poison that leads to ulcers and obesity.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110555
 12.03.2015
The use of bureaus

XXX: There are even special skates under different ice. Ice with deep snow, relatively clean ice, nests, etc. Our ancestors were no stupider than us.
I even stumbled upon hellish pieces, where instead of sailing fabric there was a hard wing like an airplane almost. There were frozen people. From under the fishermen the boxes were beaten out in the bay - catch it :)

YYY: Why catch him? You can catch and take off any other builder :)

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY The Boerist in the last mess is clearly superfluous.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №110554
 12.03.2015
And I have some difficulties in Eastern restaurants. Especially when you need to eat strawberries.
The subconscious mind always says:
- Dumb, take the spikes properly, with two hands!
And when they serve a snack, the subconscious will scream straight:
- Well, take the sticks properly and quickly tie the shell!

by Marinalevy

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110553
 12.03.2015
Yulko: Yeys))) in our courtyard we just cut an emergency tree... and it grows slightly into the garage... I watched for half an hour from the window a picture of how 4 adult men with the help of a steel pile, brake and non-normative vocabulary fight with a gazebo.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110552
 12.03.2015
Open your eyes, there is no friendship between a man and a woman.
------------
As a man I will say, friendship between a man and a woman exists. I have two such friends: one is a very funny man, humorous, fun, smart, but fat (not as women say about themselves, but really fat), and I will not drink so much to want her; the second is a cool slim lady with a elastic ass and chest, but an unhidden boy, smoking like a steam car and crawling through a word, and wanting her is already pure water homosexuality. In short, as the philosopher said, "for friendship between a man and a woman, a certain proportion of physical hostility is required."
All are good.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110551
 12.03.2015
For the last two decades, they have been beating for faith, but for unbelief, no. Well, this is already a failure, as I want to get a fist in the face for atheism, Anne, again did not give. It is strange, isn’t it?
=========
First of all, what accusation did Socrates be poisoned for?

The accusation of unbelief in God was actually a death sentence in Christian countries somewhere before the end of the 17th century, atheist books burned at the state level until the mid-18th century.

Finally, already in the enlightened twentieth century, the Reich Chancellor of Germany promised to throw away the atheist movement — and, what is characteristic, he pushed it very diligently and consistently.

And about personal. Personally, half a year ago, I received very specifically on the front of my head from two untreated men for an honest answer to the question “What are you, not Orthodox?” By the way, the offended religious feelings of the defendants the court considered circumstances mitigating the guilt.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna