Soon in the society will appear children, whose parents raised with the help of VKontakte quotes. Terrible times are coming!

Discuss the study of foreign languages

xxx: If the foreigner boasts knowledge of the Russian language, break him the template, quickly pronouncing: "Stand up, stand up".
yyy: B#@, I am a foreigner... o_o

The forum. Topic "How to name a dog"

The big dog should be called the Prosecutor's Office.
And if I scream at you, I’ll drop the prosecutor’s office.

And small should be called a smuggler and carried with you everywhere.

Do you want to feel like a tyrannosaurus? Take your cheeks two large bottles of water and try to do some business, trying not to get them out.

xxx: yesterday in the stories of friends about the accident (I was parked in the Opel Corsa, left by some blonde car-leaders without a towel and not on the transmission) with humor called the culprit of the car "drone";;
XXX: Today I got all the nonsense of this joke))))

About the Big:
To drag to the 4th floor even 8kg is heavy (especially if you are a girl), but after all, the staircase cells are different, and if a three-wheeled baby is not big, then to drag it sometimes is very problematic.

A broken joke:

“Mom, I’ll come late, drunk and with an unfamiliar girl.
You are a joke, son, sandalwood!

And in general, ladies, please help a man who wants to call things by their names, and has had to play a guess.
___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I can give you my husband’s recipe. Conducting me home on a slippery road, he embraced me. “Do you want to support me or to embrace me?” I asked, hoping to confuse him. “What’s wrong with wanting to embrace you?” he asked. He explained that he believes sexual desire is absolutely normal and healthy for both men and women. If two single people like each other, they can sleep, without any back-thoughts, long-playing plans, and second senses.
But we had a lot of common interests, so sex became a part of relationships and communication, not a goal in itself.

I have had breakfast and lunch at McDake for eleven years almost every day (morning coffee with a thread of smoothies to work, lunch in the work break, because nearby). There are no health problems, there is no excess weight, I am still running to the fourteenth floor. What is wrong with him? Per you just don’t have to swallow?

"You have been weighed. You were measured. And recognized as suitable" (c) Military Command.

The Russian series:
M: Your maid was found dead in your driver’s car.
Q: Do you want to tell me that I was left without a maid and without a driver?! to

Conversation with a friend:
In the picture she is a fucker.
and Fu! "Ebir" sounds offensive...like "telka".
Oh well hahaha.
-"Hahal" and "Ebir" have a clearly negative shade.
-"The guy" and the "young man" I don’t like. Let it be "Love"
What if she doesn’t love him? Maybe he is just a fucker?

You are talking about food containers here.
It is offensive to me.
Bringed the boy to serve red caviar in a small favorite container from IKEA.
I clarify.In a small, from a set, where all such are quite huge and a few small.And all broke up - lost.
I come back in a few days to visit again.He says he had eaten caviar.
Where is the laundry?
He threw it out, by himself.
How can I now pack small portions? and new ones are not sold separately.

The movie was "The Breakthrough".
About whom?

Bones: I watched the presentation of new Apple products yesterday, all waiting for them to show a phone not able to shoot video in a vertical position.

She offered her breast and a scarf, and he gave her a hand and a heart.
No equal exchange.

The online store is 220. Product: pack of polyethylene (5 rubles).
Reviews as always great:
-Great thing, I don't know how before I did without this gadget... I especially liked that when choosing this product, it is suggested to buy the same and glue. very comfortable. Now life has gained color and meaning.
A beautiful package! I made it to myself - now I go to the gym. I have become muscular and strong, I enjoy the respect of my colleagues and the success of women. Thanks for 220 volts.
A very comfortable thing. I bought it to celebrate the new year. And not missed. Very convenient pencil, a bright logo, sometimes I go to school with it, take a backpack instead. It should also be given to the girls on March 8. The most perfect gift!
I ordered this miracle and never regretted it. In the rainy weather of St. Petersburg, I dress him on the head, I tie his hands on the back of the head so that he does not fly and the head is always dry and clean. Now I laugh at the rain, I smile at the cloudy passers with umbrellas, and they also smile in response. Probably envy, because such a trendy headdress is for 5 rubles. Nothing else to find.
The mood is improving!!! to

The girl often talks in her dream. Tonight I pushed my elbow with the words "Look what a terrible aunt".

The backpack, mourning for the "former - goats", who do not even congratulate on March 8 and bla bla bla.
Girl(s), are you really unable to realize the reason? It is not about politeness or ignorance. You have separated. All, the relationship is over. If this happened on the initiative of a guy, then you must suppose that you have ceased to mean anything to him. If this happened on your initiative, then the guy - which is quite natural - does not want to appear to be thrown into the friendship of a lamb, writing SMS on every occasion, only to remind yourself, it is painful and unpleasant to remind yourself once more about what has passed and what will not be. He will try to forget you as soon as possible, stop communicating and start life again. All you understand? You are no longer, it is over.

"Informatics for children in 2nd grade. The task of drawing in Paint cartoon. By the way, the textbook is drawn by Gromozeka"

The Informatics!

The holidays are over.
Whoever hasn’t slept is good.